I'm really sorry if this isn't the place for this post but i feel like i need to just vent and let my anger out.
Some of you may or may not be familiar with his website or contacted him in the past but person ran the now-defunct website called "other site" or something like that. I discovered that site back in early 2011, seeing that it helped quite a few trans people, so i decided to email person for help, thinking he could help me too.
Maaaaannnnnn! *nods sadly* I could not've been more wrong.
Let's start with the basics:
First his site FORBIDS transitioning and a long list of reasons why people shouldn't, then he goes on and on to me about how he's been a much happier person since he converted to Christianity and talked me into doing the same. What got me sucked in was that he told me that in Heaven, i can have absolutely anything that i want to be happy, including being a woman and having babies but then only for him to tell me later how much i won't care about being a man, woman, or genderless because i will be too.busy enjoying and receiving God's love to care! I even told him several times that i don't care if going to Heaven and bring with God is better than being a woman and having babies.
The amazing thing is that my hated toward God for giving me a male body and that i hate being male, seems to override anything person or anyone could ever tell me about God.
My reason for transitioning is because it's the only way (other than suicide) i can find any amount of happiness in my life, and i don't like the gender God assigned me at conception. I'm not transitioning to disrespect God and God knows that. If that's not God's will, too bad. It should've thought twice about giving me a male body.
And even if God does have a problem with me transitioning then that's It's own fault for giving me a male body in the first place! In which case that's between me and God only! To Hell with any excuse any anti-transition Christian has to offer on the matter!
Oh, that's not it! I lied about being in RCIA out of fear that we would stop talking and i would have nobody to argue with about why i should/shouldn't be mad at God.
I allow for my fear of going to Hell for transitioning scare me no longer! I am finally transitioning because it makes ME happy and there is not a God up in Heaven who will damn me to Hell for it. Anyone who has a problem with me becoming a woman that can go to Hell!
Seriously! The son of a bitch is lucky I'm not disclosing his actual name! So you're welcome... J.C.!
He's also been giving me this nonsense that i should thank God for the suffering I'm going through now because i know i will when i get to Heaven. Like Hell! Like bloody Hell! I don't care if God was acting in my highest good by not making me female. I'd spit in God's face for not making me female, even if it did it "for my own good!"
After all, you know what they say: How much sharper than a serpent's tooth is a FAITHLESS, THANKLESS CHILD?!?!
I'm utterly sick of being told the "God knew what he was doing by making you male," and the "God doesn't make mistakes," b/s otherwise i wouldn't be transitioning.
Another thing:
person was so hellbent on convincing me that there is no reincarnation, everytime i mention wanting to come back reincarnated as female. Let me tell y'all something...
If i really wanted to believe in reincarnation, i would convert to Buddhism, but I'm not even going to do that! I don't need religion to live my life happily, and i don't need religion to not go to Hell. I have my own set of beliefs, and i don't follow a religion. I either want to come back reincarnated as a female or i want to just want to just not exist anymore. I don't want to go to Heaven where all there is is just admiring God with no care about gender, sex, or anything else. I'm sorry but that doesn't sound like Heaven at all to me, and i definitely can't go to Hell... So... *shrugs*
If Christianity is a religion that teaches your own unhappiness is your own fault and of your own choosing when in fact it's not, there is no reincarnation, that homosexuality and transsexuality is wrong, even if you hate the body God gave you, and that you will go to Hell for it, and that liking or wanting anything other than God and what God has for you is wrong then to Hell with Christianity because i want no part of such an ungodly way of living! I mean, I'm not a Christian because i don't agree with the teachings, therefore there's nothing for me as a Christian.
Bottom line: I will drag person to Hell before he EVER AGAIN tries to scare me out of transitioning by threatening that i will go to Hell for doing what makes ME happy! Screw that!
Christianity is a cult to me and i refuse to take any part in it!
Damn you, person!
I really wanted for person to respond to what i had to say in the year-later message, that i was finally transitioning and that i had lied about ever being part of his little cult (the Christian faith).
I know it might sound like it at first but i really mean no disrespect to the Christian community, especially the good ones who don't force their beliefs down people's throats and scare people out of doing what feels right for them!
I'm still mad right now that i felt compelled to shoot of another angry message when the first one went unanswered.
What i would like is to hear what other Christian/Catholic people would have to say about what i just said, since I'm probably not going to get anything out of person anymore and i really need someone ELSE to talk to about my gender stuff.
changed names of person/site since they can't give their side