Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on January 26, 2014, 04:13:38 AM
I need to decide.

About what, I'm not sure.

Start by deciding what it is that you need to decide.

When I was 16 I was hit by a car and "died."
Both of my legs were so destroyed and broken that the Dr.s considered amputation.  (they were really wrong, I am SO glad my bulldog of a sister was there to fend them off.)

After a day in and out of life I came back.  Things have been really strange ever since.

I feel nobody really cares for me, i'm shy if a certain person intimidates me but i'm okay if i feel safe with you. I over-think things, i'm self concious and have manic (with a capitol M) Depression.

Quote from: Donna Troy on February 08, 2014, 11:53:25 PM
I feel nobody really cares for me, i'm shy if a certain person intimidates me but i'm okay if i feel safe with you. I over-think things, i'm self concious and have manic (with a capitol M) Depression.

I care about you and i never met you. That should be worth something.

I really enjoyed Chinese food as far back as age 5 that I can remember.

I don't have secrets and don't really care who knows what about me. I care about what they'll do with the information, but also have an impulse problem when it comes to being social. I also don't consider anything personal and have to keep reminding myself that other people do.
I spent high school in and out of psych wards and on anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. I think spending so much a crucial part of my brain's development in places where people are open about serious stuff twisted the way I socialize because that became my normal while everyone else was learning normal normal social behaviour. It is currently still very difficult to try to act normal around people and I don't like it. Then again, I was a weird kid too, but that was because I liked fantasy and Shakespeare and stuff.
I have little to no patience for small talk and only engage it in out of politeness or because I don't know what to say.
I'm currently have feelings for an emotionally unstable, straight guy who would probably be very uncomfortable if he found out. This has brought back some of the issues I've struggled with before.
I not so secretly like it. Partially because, destructive and hurtful as it is, it does disguise itself as joy, but also for the same reason I don't like it: it is making me more unstable than usual and wreaking havoc with my mind. I wonder what it says about me that I love chaos even when it is causing me pain. I wonder if I naturally gravitate towards loving chaos or if it's kind of like stockholm syndrome. Or something. I'm probably not making sense.
I am almost completely incapable of caring about people and, quite obviously, I don't react well to caring about people. It doesn't change my behaviour since I like brains, puzzles, and people (they're interesting) and, quite honestly, it's best for other people if I don't care about them since, as mentioned above, caring about people tends to freak me and make me more unstable than usual.
I vary between thinking people would be put out if they find out I don't (can't) care about them and thinking they wouldn't want someone like me to care about them.
I wish I could be myself and hang trying to follow normal, social rules.

I like cheese.

I was reading memorizing and working out how to make cocktails before I was twelve.

I just read this whole thread

I was held back in first grade. They talked about a lot of issues, dyslexia being a big one. Really it's more dysgraphia which is troubles with writing. I also had problems with small motor skills so basic things like zippers, tying shoes, buttons, holding a pencil were super hard. I also had social issues. I adapted. I caught up

One of the best experiences in my life was seeing a wolf in the wild. No one else was with me.

I am very stubborn.

I do not hold grudges.

@ Jill F- What type of cheese?

@ christopher- Where did you see the wolf and what where you doing at the time?

I was born with sub aortic valve stenosis and have had two open heart surgeries, one at age 4 and the other at 10.

I have been on death watch in hospital twice. Doctors told my relatives both times I was not expected to live through the night.

Still here so I think they got it slightly wrong. I don't quit.
It was a very horrible and scary experience both times.

Even though I've lived in Australia all my life I don't have a typical "Aussie accent", I've had some people ask if I was from England...even a couple of English tourists I once chatted with. It's not a posh Brit accent or anything, just doesn't sound Australian.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 26, 2014, 05:03:52 AM
Even though I've lived in Australia all my life I don't have a typical "Aussie accent", I've had some people ask if I was from England...even a couple of English tourists I once chatted with. It's not a posh Brit accent or anything, just doesn't sound Australian.

All in Sydney? I have noticed we do have a slight accent inflection on words depending on what state we come from. We also have different slang

True, I lived for about ten years in Perth as a kid...some it must've rubbed off on me!

I once spent a year living in three different states. (well two and our the Australia Capital Territory)

I flunked kindergarten when it was still just kindergarten. Go figure, my social skills weren't up to par.

Quote from: immortal gypsy on April 25, 2014, 10:07:01 PM

@ christopher- Where did you see the wolf and what where you doing at the time?

I was at Yellowstone. I was leaving but told myself I was going to take my time and drive the long way out. I saw a bunch of cars and a ranger parked alongside the road. Typical mayhem there but a bit more people and cameras so I stopped. There were 4 wolves running across a meadow. They got to the woods and everyone loaded up and started driving up to the next meadow. I got in my car too but I didn't really want to be in the crowds. As I was driving out there was a creek cut in the hillside. It was pretty and you could see a long ways up and animals, especially canines, tend to stop by the water so I stopped, got out and found a place to wait and watch.

I didn't see any wolves coming and then fairly near me a wolf poked his (or her) head up from over a log. I assume the others were also nearby but I never saw the others. The wolf hid again when it saw me. And then it would poke it's head out again. I was thinking of leaving anyway becuase I didn't want to stress the wolf and then a bison came by walking up the nearby road. traffic started backing up like crazy and the bison was waaaaaaaay too close to me so I got in the car and headed out.

I was maybe 100 feet away

Quote from: christopher on April 25, 2014, 09:44:57 PM
I just read this whole thread

I was held back in first grade. They talked about a lot of issues, dyslexia being a big one. Really it's more dysgraphia which is troubles with writing. I also had problems with small motor skills so basic things like zippers, tying shoes, buttons, holding a pencil were super hard. I also had social issues. I adapted. I caught up

One of the best experiences in my life was seeing a wolf in the wild. No one else was with me.

I am very stubborn.

I do not hold grudges.

Sounds a lot like my son. He has an Aspergers diagnosis, for better or for worse.

Felt different my whole life, unable to process it until recently. Tons of regrets like not trying in school. Not finishing college. Not finishing anything really. Completely unmotivated. If I were kicked out of my house, id probably just walk until I wasted away. I start so much but never finish. Hate my life even though I shouldn't complain. Used to deal pot for almost 5 years. Being high is about the only time I was able to stay happy. All good things must end. I have a dopamine deficiency. It's hard for me to get happy and stay happy. Underlying it all is just hopelessness and depression and the remnants of the happy individual I once was. Keep trucking for the hope that it'll get better. It always gets better right? Nope. It really doesn't. We just find better ways of dealing with it. Sorry for the depressing post. Maybe I should just keep to myself from now on.