So this is the "I say some things about me, and you complain about my grammer space" So first things first, my name is Victoria I live in England and ever since I can remember Iv always felt like I exist in the wrong body, I'm a pre hormone, pre op, transsexual? I question this because I'm still not sure that transexual is the right word for me. I used to look in the mirror and scrutinise myself looking for signs that might exsplain and/or justify how I felt. My erlyest memory however was being my big sisters dolly. Yes I enjoyed playing dress up with my sisters :p. Anyway school puberty/hell ever increasing depression, yada yada, Then Last year at 26. I came to the point that I could no longer go on living what felt like a lie, so streaming tears it took three days to finally tell my dad I was suffering greatly from what I know now to be reffered to as gender dysphoria. This last year has been a hard one with ups and downs but I feel much happier now I've started walking down this past instead only longing too.  With how much better I feel I somtimes feel as though I don't need htr or the op, but then I see how much happier I look in the mirror, and remeber how I felt before, and remeber that the person I am today is a result of all the people I've been. And realise that transitioning is somthing I need because all the increased mood has been a direct effect of the acknowledgement of wear I'm going.   

Hi Victoria 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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V M

Welcome to Susan's, Victoria.

The ups and downs many of us know well. I'm glad you found us.

Welcome to Susan's Victoria.

I recommend starting by identifying yourself as transgender, if you want to further classify yourself you can do so but you don't have to. When people ask me I'm never quite sure because at the end of the day these are all artificially constructed labels and classes.

For me it's interesting that everyone I know says I smile a lot more after I came out but I also tent to be more shy, I'm so much happier and that's all that counts.

Feel free to ask anything assuming it's within the forum rules, see you around.