So I've struggled for a long time dealing with depression and dysphoria before finally coming to terms with my transsexualism (I'm male-to-female). I figured this out when I was 17 with the help of a surprisingly open-minded girlfriend. That was two years ago, and within those two years I've graduated high school, gotten a job, bought a car, become single, go on dates, work out, and basically play the part of your average young man figuring out his life before going into college, at least that's how my parents see it.
While struggling with my gender identity I confided in a small number of friends from school and my sister. I got lucky with my friends as they are all fiercely loyal and willing to learn when they say something unintentionally upsetting to me, and they've all referred to me with female pronouns and my new name despite my obviously male exterior and this group of friends is extremely comforting in times when my dysphoria makes life really hard for me. The only problem is while I can be the woman inside me around them, I am stuck living with my parents who know nothing of my gender struggles or the fact I am a woman in a man's body. This hurts me, as our family motto is "family first," and we're all very close to grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins,and especially immediate family members. I feel like there are no secrets being held within my extended family other than my transexuality, and that makes me feel uncomfortable and very upset, and so I feel I should tell my parents who I am and put my family first and trust them with such important information. However, my family and I are all very religious Christians (my sister and I still support LGBT rights very strongly, which is something my parents do know), and because my parents follow the overly common Christian stereotype of disapproving of homosexuality, bisexuality, and consider transgender people, cross dressers, and the like as "freaks," (I learned about transsexualism by hearing my dad bash it when I was a child). But despite this knowledge I feel I need to tell them, and that I'm tired of pretending to be their son. But why would this sound like a good idea?
Lately my dysphoria has gotten extremely difficult to deal with, to the point where I've gone into work and started shaking violently and fighting back tears simply because I liked a customer's skirt and thought I'd like to own one like that, before realizing that if I did I'd never be able to wear it while my parents were around because of this facade I'm forced to put on because I'm afraid of my parents. But despite the fear and unease I feel when thinking about this, I feel I'd have a better chance of being accepted now then I would have had 2 years ago as my parents befriended a homosexual man recently and kind of had their eyes opened about the blatant hate they were giving out. Ever since we befriended this man, who is a really lovely person, my parents no longer get angry when speaking about homosexuality instead saying that it really doesn't bother them but disagree with the practice as it's slammed pretty hard by the Bible. I believe this is because instead of just hearing about the "evils of homosexuality," at church and when speaking to other like-minded people, they actually met a man with a boyfriend and saw the issue from his perspective through long, serious talks with him (and no they weren't trying to convert him or anything, they just wanted to learn more about the topic from a new angle). Because of this new attitude shift, I feel they may be receptive to hearing about transsexualism and won't lash out with anger immediately and they may be willing to learn more about it, or at least that's what I'm hoping.
The way I look at the issue is if I come out and they accept me, I'll be able to be myself in the comfort of my own home and get support and love from where it matters most. If they aren't accepting of it and try to force me to change my ways, I can just go back to my male facade until I move out. And if the worst case scenario happens (which I pray it won't) and they expel me from their house I already buy all of my own clothes, food, gas, and have a fully paid off car in my name and enough supportive friends who would be willing to lend me a couch to sleep on until I can afford my own place somewhere. However I'm still uncertain of what to do and because I know nobody in a situation similar to mine, I'm here to ask for advice of all kinds. Thank you so much for reading this excessively long post,
-Jennifer
PS: Some more info about me
-I'm almost fully self reliant (I occasionally help my parents pay bills), although I can't afford rent but I buy all my own clothes, gadgets, food, gas, and pay my own phone bill.
-I'm not in school of any kind at the moment, but am instead focusing on making my hobbies into a career and my parents are very supportive in that. I still am considering going to college later when it's a more affordable option.
-If you need any more info about me that I didn't put in here, feel free to ask me.
