Does any of this post make sense? I have not been herein a while. I was posting this as a reply to another post and it.turned into an update post. Please read and let me know what you think.

What does being totally woman in side fell like? I don't think anybody can really tell  you. For me I am just guessing I am a woman inside. If some one were to ask me with out looking at me I would say I am a woman. If someone says she about me it feels better than hearing he. If someone calls me Norma it feels more right than when someone calls me Norman But I don't have a cow or even give it an extra thought if I am referred to in a male manner. Its not as important to me as being excepted as me. Call me what you want, I know who I am. I have been seeing my therapist since January and was cleared for HRT since the first session. But I still have not started but I know I will. I don't want to be a man and after therapy I don't want to be  woman kind of. If I had to choose one or the other it would be female. I just want to be me. Who ever that is. I am pretty sure I am somewhere in between. But as I have discussed with my therapist that can change. I feel I am supposed.to have breasts. And I can't stand the hair on my body. No matter who I am.
Why am I taking so long? I have a wife. An amazing wife. And I have an amazing therapist. And I think taking the time for my wife to take it all in and understand and learn and catch up to me will be worth it in the long run. It looks like she will be around for a while if I give her the time me she needs to catch up to me with her learning and understanding. But that may change. But I would hate myself if I did not do everything I could to see if our relationship would last.

So this is my plan at this time after 5 months of therapy. Our next session together is going to be about me going on hormones. So my wife will completely understand what's involved before I start.   After that I will be making the big appointment and starting hrt. Since I Already put a lot of stuff into my system I will be going the biodentical pellet route for my estrogens and progesterens. And a T pellet to keep the equipment working unless my wife does not need it to work. You never know. And I am good either way. Gonna need the T because I will be having an orchiectomy asap because it looks like my insurance will cover it and I do not want or can my liver handle all the anti androgens. Plus covered or not I will be having the orchiectomy. And I do not think I will ever have SRS. Thanks in advance for your responses. I enjoy reading and learning from them.

So that's my plan. I am just going to see where it takes me. Getting ready for the roller coaster ride of my life.