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ESPRIT a Trans Experience

Started by JulieBlair, May 15, 2014, 10:52:47 AM

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Sincerely Tegan

Thank you so much for sharing your stories, Julie. I've only known you a short while, but I can say with certainty that you are right – you are beautiful. Looking forward to hearing more about your trip at some point in the future.

And speaking of beautiful, may I just say, Grace, you look fantastic in your new profile picture. Really. Just stunning.

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday. Be well. ;)

Cheers,
Tegan
"You get what anyone gets. You get a lifetime."
-Death, Neil Gaiman's Sandman
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JulieBlair

#21
First off, Teg is right.  Grace, you look wonderful!  If this is how being full time makes you look, then there may be hope for me yet.  Yes, there are many many conferences where the trans community gets together to learn and to share.  This  is the one that is closest to me and that was available me.  I hope another time to go to Atlanta, or maybe Sidney but this is my experience at this time, in this place. 

I was up early this morning, I so much did not want this experience to end.  I got to the hotel a couple of hours before the closing brunch.  There were others milling about as well, we had impromptu discussions about our shared experience. There were many tears, and many smiles.

I have said it before, I love these people, they have taught me much of acceptance,  and much of courage in the brief space of one hundred and sixty hours.  The conference raised over six thousand dollars for the scholarship fund and the local Hospice center.

I was an award winner, and given an opportunity to speak.  I've already written in these posts most of what I said, but I concluded with these words.   "My name is Julie Anne Blair.  I live in Seattle Washington.  I am a girl!"

This is my take away.  This is my truth.  I need make no apology, I do not fear any consequences.   I choose authenticity,  and I choose life.  I am at the beginning, and at the end, a woman.  Beautiful, generous, proud and thankful.

Love to you all.

Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Jessica Merriman

That got me a little emotional Julie! You rock girl.  :)
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JulieBlair

Jessica, so do you, so do you
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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Jessica Merriman

I keep eating these highly addictive Nacho Cheese Doritos and you will have to start saying "You ROLL girl"! :)
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JulieBlair

Do you have any idea how bad for you those things are? Move away from the bag and call for the disposal unit.   :laugh:
j
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

Jessica Merriman

Quote from: JulieBlair on May 18, 2014, 07:36:44 PM
Do you have any idea how bad for you those things are?
I know, but so are men! What am I going to do now? ;D ARGH! World collapsing down around me! :D
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Julie Hall

Hi Julie, et. al.;

This is another Julie. I just signed up on this site and am newly returned from the same Esprit. I am Julie's counterpart at the conference - the other Julie, another first timer. Julie has inspired me through this week and I was so glad she got the award for the most inspirational, she had my vote.

I think everyone's Esprit experience is a bit different, unique to themselves and their own experience. For me some of the week was absolutely magical, but some left me feeling utterly lost - I'm trying to figure out why. I can't wait for my next therapy session. I cried so much the hotel staff must have had to replace the empty Kleenex container so many times, I'm sure I got my money's worth from the hotel!

This is my first post here, so I'll try to read some older one's and get to know you all.

Julie Hall
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Veronica M

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 18, 2014, 05:48:02 PM
That got me a little emotional Julie! You rock girl.  :)

I second that for sure... Very well stated...
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JulieBlair

Hi Miss Julie,   glad you got home safely.  What was your take on the week?  You grew so much, what did you discover?

j
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

Sincerely Tegan

Quote from: JulieBlair on May 18, 2014, 05:45:21 PM
First off, Teg is right.  Grace, you look wonderful!  If this is how being full time makes you look, then there may be hope for me yet.  Yes, there are many many conferences where the trans community gets together to learn and to share.  This  is the one that is closest to me and that was available me.  I hope another time to go to Atlanta, or maybe Sidney but this is my experience at this time, in this place. 

I was up early this morning, I so much did not want this experience to end.  I got to the hotel a couple of hours before the closing brunch.  There were others milling about as well, we had impromptu discussions about our shared experience. There were many tears, and many smiles.

I have said it before, I love these people, they have taught me much of acceptance,  and much of courage in the brief space of one hundred and sixty hours.  The conference raised over six thousand dollars for the scholarship fund and the local Hospice center.

I was an award winner, and given an opportunity to speak.  I've already written in these posts most of what I said, but I concluded with these words.   "My name is Julie Anne Blair.  I live in Seattle Washington.  I am a girl!"

This is my take away.  This is my truth.  I need make no apology, I do not fear any consequences.   I choose authenticity,  and I choose life.  I am at the beginning, and at the end, a woman.  Beautiful, generous, proud and thankful.

Love to you all.

Julie

First off, of course I'm right- I'm Tegan. ;)

Second, Julie, you're my hero, plain and simple. Your positivity, openness, and generally loving nature are a continuing well of inspiration for myself and all the other folks here. Thank you.

Cheers,
Teg
"You get what anyone gets. You get a lifetime."
-Death, Neil Gaiman's Sandman
<a href="http://www.tickerfactory.com/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/d/4;52;467/st/20141025/e/Begun+HRT/k/203a/event.png"></a>
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Allyda

Quote from: justpat on May 17, 2014, 11:24:21 PM
  Next year,and I already have a big sister ! Am on the web page now and even seen a couple of people I recognized.Later  :)  Patty
I'm wondering if this is similar to the Pride Fest we went to  Pat, but mostly for we trans folk? I'll have to try and find the website and see. Maybe someone could post a link to it? I'd like to learn more about it.

Thanks

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

Julie Hall

Quote from: JulieBlair on May 18, 2014, 10:02:55 PM
Hi Miss Julie,   glad you got home safely.  What was your take on the week?  You grew so much, what did you discover?

j
Hi Julie (now this is getting monotonous!),

I went to pick up my kitty from my mothers and finally had my epiphany for the week. This is how I described it:
"I am home now, Esprit is over, I picked up my kitty at my mother's and brought her home. While at my mother's, taking out her trash and old cat litter it occurred to me that I had a bounce to my step. I stopped, restarted and there it was again. What could it be? It occurred to me that when presenting female I bounce when I walk.....I laugh easier, lighter and giggle infectiously. I like that. I like me when I am like that. He wouldn't bounce. His laughter would be derived from "snark" and sarcasm. Now there is nothing wrong with either "snark" nor sarcasm - in moderation they are marvelous tools for easing situations, but there is usually less heart in them. Once the sarcasm ends there is silence....sullen depression and tears. Always hiding, protecting and.......isolation. nothing.....empty

I want giggles.

I want bounce.

I want bubbly infectious laughter. That is what I told my mother today."

I also emailed my shrink....we will have a long discussion coming up next session!

Julie Hall
  •  

JulieBlair

Cool Beans Girl!

What do you say we set a date and go play in the daylight and maybe have lunch?

Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

JulieBlair

#34
Hi everyone,
I've had twenty-four hours back in the not so real world.  Sadly it isn't as colorful, but I wanted to make one final reflection on this experience.

There is a lot of chatter about how inclusive we are, or how inclusive we ought to be as transgender people.  Many of the girls I spent last week with are part time, and neither changing their body chemistry, nor doing a whole lot of body hair management.  Are these women trans?  I wasn't sure before, but I am now.

I think that to participate in the transgender community there cannot be any rules.  I frankly do not care if the chances of us passing in public are nil.  If you feel in your heart that at the core you have a feminine soul, I will walk with you and listen to your story.  If you are a woman, girl, cis or trans, you are worthy of love, and ought to be embraced by all of us.  I know that many, maybe most girls here who readily pass, only want to just live their lives authentically.  No harm, no foul.  I hope that if we meet, you will be neither embarrassed nor shy.

The message beyond my personal epiphanies that this conference made very clear to me, is that if we say we are women, we are women.  It isn't the packaging that matters at all, it is the spontaneity of spirit, and the expression of the soul.  This is true everywhere, but especially here.  Together we are powerful and beautiful.  By myself I am a small animal in a very big world.

A lot of what I posted from this event was pretty brief and a bit syntax constrained.  I did it from my phone, and often at very odd hours.  I don't want to edit now that I can because I don't wish to change the meaning at all.  If you find anything useful here, cool.  I do not ever want to lose what I found last week.  There was a time, when I felt lonely and afraid every day of my life.  That has changed, I am empowered and I don't ever want to forget that I have that inner resource available.  I am loved and I don't ever want to feel the desolation that abject loneliness brings again.  Both of these mean that I must stay available and connected.  Life will bring what it will, and I promise to try to respond with generosity, and forgiveness.  I know that there is a place where I fit in, and that place is wherever I choose to go.  You guys have my back now and always.  I hope you know that I have yours too.  In my finish to this wonderful and amazing week down the rabbit hole to wonderland there is only one thing to iterate.

My Name Is Julie Anne Blair!

I Live In Seattle Washington!

I Am A Girl!!!

Love you all,
Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

JulieBlair

Quote from: Sincerely Tegan on May 18, 2014, 10:56:45 PM

Second, Julie, you're my hero, plain and simple. Your positivity, openness, and generally loving nature are a continuing well of inspiration for myself and all the other folks here. Thank you.



Teg, I love you too, When I need inspiration I read your writing.  When I am unsure, yours are among the images I picture when trying to decide what to do.  You are special to me little sister.  I'm glad that I am special to you.

Love,
Julie
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

Julie Hall

Quote from: JulieBlair on May 19, 2014, 08:41:17 AM
Cool Beans Girl!

What do you say we set a date and go play in the daylight and maybe have lunch?

Julie

Absolutely! Sundays I spend with my mother, so what about a Saturday? I am free pretty much all of them! LOL I'm not sure where you'd like to meet, I am not all that familiar with Seattle and North, but the city center I can find pretty much everything. Someplace around Westlake? You let me know exactly time and place - I will bring moi!

BTW - I have begun letting select people at work know. So far (okay 4 people) everyone has been so extremely supportive!
Julie H.
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JulieBlair

Julie,
I really, really have to work in my yard this weekend, so how about next?  How about Saturday the Seventh of June, meet you at the market?

j
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
  •  

Allyda

Julie thanks for the link. I think this would be a great experience to attend. My only problem is I live in Florida all the way across country from where it is. I'd have to figure out some travel arrangements for next year.

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



  •  

JulieBlair

Hook up with Patty, I think she is planning to come.
j
I am my own best friend and my own worst enemy.  :D
Full Time 18 June 2014
Esprit can be found at http://espritconf.com/
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