hi there! I've been sneaking around this forum for quite some time and finally I'm suscriving this is my story:
First of all, I'm 24, I was born male and I want to start the process to change sex. I don't want to make this post super long because I'm not very good at talking about myself... but gonna try... 
The fact is that almost two months ago I've had an illumination (kind of) at 11pm watching the tv while havig dinner,  I was having a very bad time for a very long time, even though my life is quite normal, I have some friends and I'm studyng and searching for a job...I was feeling so depressed and lonely, I didn't even kow why...and when I saw this program that was talking about trasgenders mtf,,in that moment all the memories came to my mind, memories of me as a child wanting to be a girl, wanting my "member" to dissapear, I was effeminate as a child, and I never had problems to express my flamboyant (at the time)personality BUT then my teens came ! I remember trying to repress all the thoughs regarding homosexuality or being female (btw I didn't know that sex change was even possible),. years later after in my early 20's I came out almost to everybody as a gay man but not too much later I figured out that I was missing something, the thoughts about been a woman were (and are) still there.
Well here I am looking at the mirror and seeing a man, and feeling like crap... because I can feel the woman inside of me screaming to be release, but I'm afraid, I am afraid of the society, of the discrimination, of how my parents will react?, and what about having a job? ...  I called weeks ago to the gender disorder center in my city and I have and appointment whit them in july, anyway, I have doubts about the journey that I'm going to start, I keep asking to myself if this is the right decision (even if I know the answer!) and sometimes when I'm enjoying moments with friends i tend to think that all the transition thoughts could be a temporary obsession, like something that you think you want so bad but after a while you don't care anymore (when it happens I think that maybe be a boy is not that bad, but when I'm at home the feelings about me being a woman) all of these is so stressfull 
Sorry for the grammatical mistakes, English is my 3th language ad here in italy is very late.

Welcome to the forums.   While I am twice your age, I can identify with your feelings.  I only recently realized I am transgender, and there are days when I wonder it its all a big mistake.   On other days its there is no doubt.
   If you are seeing a good gender specialist they should help you to explore your feelings and help you decide if you want to transition, remain as you are, or explore some in-between option.  Take your time, try things out slowly.  You are still young.  Take your time and make sure you are doing the right thing.

A big warm welcome to the family! You will soon find you are by no means alone in your thought's and feelings. It is never too late to transition and live the life you were meant to. Here is a BIG HUG  to welcome you and make you feel right at home!

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Quote from: InDreams on May 21, 2014, 07:02:15 PM
I called weeks ago to the gender disorder center in my city and I have and appointment whit them in july, anyway, I have doubts about the journey that I'm going to start, I keep asking to myself if this is the right decision (even if I know the answer!) and sometimes when I'm enjoying moments with friends i tend to think that all the transition thoughts could be a temporary obsession, like something that you think you want so bad but after a while you don't care anymore (when it happens I think that maybe be a boy is not that bad, but when I'm at home the feelings about me being a woman) all of these is so stressfull 

This is why you're doing the right thing to be talking to someone about these issues, I hope that they can help you sort through your gender questioning and look at possible solutions that will work for you.

Welcome to Susan's!

thanks girls,  the support you give to any member of this forum is amazing 
I've talked with two transgender friends and they gave me some advices and information, if everything goes good maybe I'll start with hormones in january 2015...of course the idea of having to wait till' that day is killing me but I don't think there are other options