I'm having some issues with this that is just increasing.

I dress and act pretty masculine, but I have a feminine face and I still get hit on by guys when I'm out (straight guys), and this makes me so depressed.

I can't take looking attractive to straight guys anymore, I get filled with disgust, and I don't know why it's bothering me so much.
But then again I don't know why they find me attractive? They shouldn't.

I even get hit on by straight guys in the gaybar, don't they know that they are offensive, and they acted like all shocked when I told them I was gay. And immediately after they disappeared.
I didn't think it even was necessary to come out to them considering we were at the gaybar.

It's like I'm comfortable looking like I do now, that I don't have to look 100% like a guy, I'm fine with looking like a gay dude for example, except the part where I still get considered ''a girl'' in a straight mans eyes.

I'm getting so dysphoric about all of this...
I had to quit my job I had too, because I couldn't take the dysphoria caused by how the guys there treated me. (It didn't help that I was the only ''girl'' there). I just wanted to be seen equally like them, not as some female. 

Maybe I'm at a early stage in being trans... I'm still young (20).
But I don't want to take testosteron, cause it scares me. I just need to work on looking more guyish in my face, so they will treat me like one.

Anyone experienced this and how do you deal with it?

Trust me when I say I know the feeling I do. I never really let it bother me too badly though either. Probably because I've been use to it for a very very long time. I just tell them I'm uninterested and if they continue to flirt I just kinda ignore it. As annoying as it is I would try to look at it more positively. Think of it like this, "I'm flattered, but I'm not interested". Even if you aren't attracted to men it's kinda nice to get some kind of attention from time to time, even if it's just flirting and wishful thinking on their part. Don't let it get you down, I know it sucks, but it shouldn't make you feel so badly either.

If it gets to be too much of an annoyance just stand up tall and tell them to back the eff up. Usually guys will stop then. Tell them it's flattering for the first minute or so and after that it's just plain annoying, cause it is.

Out of curiosity what makes you scared to take testosterone?

I mean I know it's kinda scary, that's natural. It's a big life change, but I'm just curious.

I'm kinda ''happy'' with how I look and my body.
Though I hate having breasts, that's the only thing I don't like. I don't really want a mans physique, and I don't want bottom-surgery, I'm fine looking like a teenage boy.
 
I just get down by societys influences on everything (that's why I'm happy as long as I stay inside by myself, and don't experience how things are perceived and not, (not that that's a way to live though)
I go outside, and I experience how things are I start to get insecure and unhappy etc because of it.
I don't want to be sexualized, but no one can tell what's in my pants when I look like a guy on the outside (soon enough at least), so I don't care about that part.

But I think that being so sexualized is something that hangs on from before I 'transitioned", because I had a really girly phase, where I tried really hard being the female society wants (lol), and I ended up looking like Scarlett Johanson, so I got so much attention, just walking down the streets were like 5 car horns beeping at me just when I was going to the store, and I got a thrill out of it, but it wasn't of course what I wanted or who I was inside. So I got used to so much attention I feel like that is still how people see me I guess.

The thing is though, I can't picture my future... I don't know if I might switch back to being woman, or just... not live at all. I can't picture myself as male either.

Maybe testosteron won't seem scary at all when I hit like... 25, who knows. I think it's about taking all the steps, and I'm not fully matured into it.

But I think I'm thinking too much about all of this. I should just relax in myself... though it seems impossible

When I went out the first time, I was hit on half dozen times at least. I just took it in stride. It still happens from time to time. On one occasion I was called 'granny'.

I'm androgynous and also 20 years old and I get this a lotttt. Sometimes when I'm with my parents shopping and it's sooooo embarrassing.

To be honest, I'm not bothered by it and it doesn't really matter to me. I'm too shy anyway to reply or do anything about it, I just keep walking or avoid them the next time I see them.

I'm on the masculine side and I don't like the flirting I once in a great while get from straight guys.  I realized several years ago when I get hit on by straight guys my instinct is "eww."  I just do not connect in the least with having sex with males as a "female." I worked for several years in male dominated professions.  The last one being as a mechanic.  I was out to everyone as a lesbian; if someone asked about SO's I talked about my gf, if people were talking about spouses or families I'd talk about wanting to marry my gf and our family life just like they did.  Some avoided me - fine, everyone has their rights; some did not care in the least - it was a non-issue; some asked a lot of questions - which I welcomed because I choose to educate when people are open to it. 

I was the only female mechanic.  There were a couple guys who for some reason tried flirting (expecting me to feel complimented by their attention), being chivalrous (which in a garage means trying to make me feel weak and like I couldn't perform my job), or overtly sexualizing everything I did (comments when I would bend over to lift a tire or have to reach on my tip toes for something or grunt to loosen a tight bolt or filter or lift something heavy) to which my reaction was always the same.  Every single time I would say "what are you talking about" and if they tried to explain with further sexual innuendo or flirting I'd just keep saying "you're not making any sense."  After several months they finally got the message that I wouldn't allow them to manipulate or sexualize me. 

Outside of work environments when straight guys  flirt I just look at them like they are crazy or ignore them. 

i set every men's gaydar off, whether they are straight or GBT. i just usually pump up my music and walk away. one touched my shoulder once and i kick him in the stomach.

Quote from: staypositive1 on May 23, 2014, 10:55:35 AM
I'm having some issues with this that is just increasing.

I dress and act pretty masculine, but I have a feminine face and I still get hit on by guys when I'm out (straight guys), and this makes me so depressed.

I can't take looking attractive to straight guys anymore, I get filled with disgust, and I don't know why it's bothering me so much.
But then again I don't know why they find me attractive? They shouldn't.

I even get hit on by straight guys in the gaybar, don't they know that they are offensive, and they acted like all shocked when I told them I was gay. And immediately after they disappeared.
I didn't think it even was necessary to come out to them considering we were at the gaybar.

It's like I'm comfortable looking like I do now, that I don't have to look 100% like a guy, I'm fine with looking like a gay dude for example, except the part where I still get considered ''a girl'' in a straight mans eyes.

I'm getting so dysphoric about all of this...
I had to quit my job I had too, because I couldn't take the dysphoria caused by how the guys there treated me. (It didn't help that I was the only ''girl'' there). I just wanted to be seen equally like them, not as some female. 

Maybe I'm at a early stage in being trans... I'm still young (20).
But I don't want to take testosteron, cause it scares me. I just need to work on looking more guyish in my face, so they will treat me like one.

Anyone experienced this and how do you deal with it?

I don't go any place where guys go to meet girls.  It scares the crap out of me when someone starts coming on to me.  Besides, I don't even like men.

Well I can understand why that annoys you. I have no idea what I would do. No need to say my gender as it says so under my avatar. So I'd rather not have someone attemmpting that thinking i'm a guy. That said I look roughly 15 despite being 26, and my voice is somewhat childish, not deep (thank god.) So the likelihood of anyone finding me attractive is very low.  At any rate I'm asexual, so I have no idea how I would feel. If I managed to pass for a girl in the equation, I'd probably be content  , but I'd have to make my sexuality clear. I'm happy that my boyfriend is able to accept that I might never be attracted to him sexually. It says a lot about him that he can deal with my sexuality on top of my gender issues. ^~^ If I had straight girls hitting on me (very unlikely, only happened once... that said...I never get out.) I'd probably feel awkward indeed.

i cant with straight guys. no matter how good looking and drop dead gorgeous they can be, i think most of them are insensitive jerks, well the ones i met at least. i'm sure there are good ones but they are either gay or taken *tears* its total rejection before one has a chance to hit on me