Someone close to me was telling me about a documentary they watched about intersex people, that compared those who did not have their genitals changed at birth compared to those who did, and how much happier the former were etc. This person said they really wanted me to watch it, to try and show me that I can be happy with my parts, and I just felt like facepalming at that point.

Just because their previous trans partners were non-op doesn't mean that EVERY trans person is better off without surgery. I don't like the insinuation that those who are trying to pursue surgery have hangups and can't deal with the potential consequences. Sure, I have seen some who assume that surgery will solve all their problems and that doesn't happen, but surely SRS exists because it does improve the quality of life of those who pursue it. I've thought long and hard about my future, HRT confirmed that I was going in the right direction, and with SRS it's not a matter of if but when. While genitals don't equal gender I don't see how my current configuration can bring me any pleasure or use, considering I am a TOP. If your dreams, fantasies and desires all point towards being a certain gender with certain body parts, what's the purpose of keeping the contradictory organs?

Blows my mind that people actually think this way. Has anyone else gotten these comments from people before?

I've had people tell me I don't need to get bottom surgery, yes. The only people who actually ask whether or not I plan to are the people I least want to discuss my privates with. I've also had people tell me not to get too hung up on my voice because they didn't see what the big deal was when I hated it so much, I wanted to rip out my vocal chords.

Your friend seems to have conveniently ignored that children whose genitals were altered at birth had no say in it. There's a huge difference between not being involved in the choice and being the one making the choice.

I wouldn't worry too much what other people think about surgery of this nature, even if it is based on their own experience or that of someone else, it's a totally personal choice and none of their business.

Most people I know seem to encourage the change. 

I haven't been told I don't need SRS yet by anyone. In fact most people I know are supportive of my need for it. Without it I can't have any kind of intimate relationship with anyone. Yes I currently have an SO and thankfully she's being patient with me, because I can't be with her intimately until after my SRS. So this also is extreemly hard on her especially due to the fact that before meeting me she was straight. So, I hope no one tells me I don't need SRS to be happy, because I seriously beg to differ, and am not sure how well I could handle it.

Ally

My entire family, parents, sister and brother in law want me to keep everything as is. Even with me describing in detail why it's one of the largest things that holds me back every time I go out in public. Yeah, I can tuck it away just fine with the aide of two pairs of panties but I'll never ever feel comfortable with myself until everything matches my mind the way I believe it should.

Quote from: Megumi on May 26, 2014, 12:40:37 PM
I'll never ever feel comfortable with myself until everything matches my mind the way I believe it should.

Exactly how I feel as well.

Ally

People try and talk me out of the op all the time.

Freinds and family for the most part. Why? Because they love me as I am, what they forget is that is that I dont love me as I am.

Somtimes I come away from gender to make a point.
My sister Is blond, her boyfreind preffers her hair like that and regularly points that out to her when she colours it how she likes it. I ask her why she colours her hair, she says because she cant stand how she looks blond. I say its the same thing here.

And then I move on to why she doesnt have her legs out and wear skirts and/or shorts without leggings like her bf would love. She says because thats just not who she is, shes not a legs out kind of person. I say exacly im not a penis person, its just not who I am.

I find it easyer to come away from gender because I often find focusing on it makes things much more difficult then it needs to be.

As soon as you take boy and girl into acount, you invoke a whole list of tick boxes that define what either/or is. because what those tick boxes are and how many one needs to fill in order to qualify as one or the other can be drasticaly different between individuals.