Ok, so, I went full time more than half a year ago, though recently I've released I'm still not "out" as myself fully. So somewhat full time yes and somewhat not full time. I wear female clothing only though appearance wise it's gender neutral so yea.. (Doesn't help certain family members force me to where these types of clothes when they take me places such as grocery store) and seeing as I've not told the leasing office I'm trans and wish to be addressed as her, Ma'am, ms. etc. and my preferred name, I've basically been hiding my name tag when on to my way to work, been calling myself by my birth name which I dislike doing, and so on. It's also been hard for me to tell people who misgender me I'm not a guy but a woman seeing as how effective" that's been at work and now I've become VERY self conscious about my male sounding voice. (HOW I can pass after I speak and the people still sometimes call me ma'am is beyond me..) Other than that and a few possible other thigns such as letting the government know I'm trans, a woman though and such and a few other things that may not be coming to mind right now, other than that, I'm out as myself a woman. I ue the women's rest room, wear female clothing and have even worn a dress and skirt out once (I don't know how to tape so keeping it in between my legs was VERY uncomfortable for me.. not to mention shaving these legs is a pain when I'm already shaving my arms for work plus chest and belly every 3-7 days..) which was very refreshing but not without it's troubles. >.> (Darn "thing" and darn bra straps trying to fall off and show themselves to the public! >_<)

So anyway, the advice I need right now is, encouragement and how to not only go out more full time and be more confident but, how to not revert back to before full time? Has any of this ever happened to you where you found yourself thinking you were out full time and realized only partially out full time? Did you revert back, if so did you ever go back to full time? It's been difficult for me and I've found myself giving in and reverting back to none full time which, I don't know, is already slowly happening and I don't want it too.. Btw, if you read this post of mine you might get a better understanding of who I am and how to better help me, it's not necessary though and any advice and help is appreciated. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,165137.msg1426019.html#msg1426019

It sounds to me like you aren't really ready to take the full time plunge yet, and that's perfectly OK.  You're transgender and that part will never change.  You're doing a great job working up to it, but at this point you still have to present at least andro for family and work, you're not on HRT and the voice still needs training.  Real life experience at this point won't get you any closer to surgery, as surgeons are looking for 12 continuous months of documented HRT, having some means of financial support and having gone full time without returning to guy mode.

I would concentrate on working on the voice, losing the facial hair ASAP and either getting your family to accept your transition or becoming completely independent.  You will also need to maintain steady employment with an employer who accepts your tranisition as well.  Then you will need to get on HRT.

Confidence comes from experience and either believing you are projecting yourself to the world successfully as a woman or simply not giving a sh*t whether you are or not.  Early on when I still subconsiously thought of myself mostly as this gruff shaven ape in a dress, I pretty much got treated like one.  It took weeks to unlearn my forced masculine habits and seem less nervous.  I might have actually gone full time a bit prematurely, but jumping in with both feet forced me to sink or swim, and I learned to own it pretty fast.  When I declared myself full time and it ended up sticking, I purged my male wardrobe.

It's OK to take things slowly.  Too much too soon can lead to an unsuccessful transition, and that is best avoided.

Sadly I know I'm not ready quite yet but some is not my own fault. I can blame my "Dad" and all that he's done to me since I told him I'm trans for some of this, another because of how things went at work which made me call the HR department several times and also myself for, letting myself be down in the dumps, never doing anything and so on. I mean I keep being misgendered at work and other than occasionally telling the bosses about it, I've basically given up correcting them. Then there are other factors so, atm I'm more biding my time than before. I really don't know when or IF I'll ever be able to go full time but would love to hear any advice/encouragement/support people, especially those who're full time can offer me..

I am planning on throwing away all my male clothes soonish (Not like I wear them anyway), so, that's one small step if I can make myself do it..

I was like Jill sweetie. I plunged head first into the girl end of the pool without giving it any thought at all so I wouldn't waver from the commitment. I have not regretted it one time yet. The more you are out and about the better your confidence gets. If I thought about it or left an escape route of some kind I would not be anywhere close to where I am now. I am now happy, confident and full of life even though my voice sucks and I still look experimental with hair and makeup. I just don't care about the opinions of others at all. The fact that I don't actually helps because I am more relaxed and don't draw attention to myself by feeling nervous or looking around a lot. I just own it and people pick up on that. The lack of self confidence and belief in yourself in my opinion is what outs people every day. When you act like you should be there without hesitance throws a LOT of suspicion off of yourself. I have seen cis women in danger of being identified as trans because of their timid and nervous behaviors. You will know when it is the right time to go full time and when that happens you too will own your right as a woman. Hang in there sweetie!

Yes I often say im out full time. but im not.

Im IN full time. So I hardly go out at all. When I Do Its always in fem mode.
But I dont go out as often as I should. And somtimes I start to regrett throwing away all my man stuff.. but. I wont by anymore. THAT will be a huge step backwards, and like a good freind said as soon as people know I Have them they will exspect me to wear them.

my troubble is going out alone. I can go to my sisters and doctors by myself, but finding the currage to go any other place by myself is aaaarrrrg.

im lucky anought to be unlucky anough not to have a job. but i wish i had one. tbh.

So yeah I found that thinking only wearing fem cloths counted as full time. Its realy not. its more about going and doing everyday things as fem. and not turning back at the door.

but in the absence of a social life, even now is an improovement, and im getting there (slowly)

And so will you.

I've been thinking about this since you first posted, and I've just realised what has been on my mind about it. From what you've said, it sounds to me like you're waiting for other people to give you permission so that you can be allowed to be yourself. This might be because you're in a vulnerable situation... but the only way to get out of that situation is to start asserting your power over your own life.

Look at what you've said here:

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
(Doesn't help certain family members force me to where these types of clothes when they take me places such as grocery store)

Nobody has the right to force a grown woman to wear anything specific. Other people can only wield this power over you if you give them permission to do so... so simply don't give them permission. If you're going to the grocery store - or anywhere else - you go however you want to go. No ifs, no buts. If somebody wants to try to force you to do something against your will, just say 'no'.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
I've not told the leasing office I'm trans and wish to be addressed as her, Ma'am, ms. etc. and my preferred name

Have you examined whether there is something that is stopping you from doing so? If there is, what can you do to improve the situation? If there isn't, start by writing them a brief letter informing them of your name & pronoun change.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
I've basically been hiding my name tag when on to my way to work, been calling myself by my birth name which I dislike doing, and so on.

If you dislike using your birth name, don't use it. Discard it in every sphere of your life. It can be incredibly liberating to do so.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
It's also been hard for me to tell people who misgender me I'm not a guy but a woman seeing as how effective" that's been at work and now I've become VERY self conscious about my male sounding voice.

I understand and sympathise with this completely. I had the same problem, albeit from the opposite direction. But I persisted anyway, and corrected them anyway, until my transition got to the point where they could see the truth for themselves. No matter how ridiculous I thought I might have looked or sounded.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
Other than that and a few possible other thigns such as letting the government know I'm trans, a woman though and such and a few other things that may not be coming to mind right now, other than that, I'm out as myself a woman.

If you're ready to go full-time, then make a list of the various people who need to be told, and tell them all in one go. I made a spreadsheet of all the businesses, charities and government departments I do business with. I looked up their contact details and wrote to every single one of them, with a copy of my name change documentation, and told them to change my details. It took me a day to do it, but then it was done and I could move on.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 13, 2014, 07:57:41 PM
So anyway, the advice I need right now is, encouragement and how to not only go out more full time and be more confident but, how to not revert back to before full time?

It's much easier to revert back to the bad ol' days if you wait for other people to give you permission to be yourself. Because the truth is: they're never going to give you that permission. If you really want to go full-time, you need to take the reins and assert your right to live your life your way. Let everyone else catch up with you in their own time.

Quote from: Shana-chan on May 27, 2014, 10:25:06 PM
I am planning on throwing away all my male clothes soonish (Not like I wear them anyway), so, that's one small step if I can make myself do it..

Are you holding on to them for any reason? If so, examine that reason and work out what you want to do about it. If not, throw yourself a throwing-out party (complete with your favourite music and a bottle of wine) and get rid of the ghosts of your past.