I was sitting outside my therapist office waiting for my appointment. I was feeling really good . People were passing me by not looking at me, nothing was happening , but just enjoying the day when this 5 year old walking hand in hand with her mother walked by and kept staring at me as her and her mother kept walking. I smiled but she didn't smile back. they got about ten yards away and the child turned to her mother and said something and they just kept walking. I thought I've been doing pretty good  not being noticed. This is the first time this has happened and it freaked me out. It's weird , I got out of my appointment and went walking and sitting on a busy street ,but no reaction from anyone else. Unless she thought I was stunning which I kind of doubt. I takes a little effort to get over a kids stare.

IDK, kids seem kinda strange like they just know things. Creeps me out a bit tbh.

The one thing you will want to do if you're going to transition is try hard not to decipher people's stares and what they mean. people stare for all sorts of reasons. If it's only one person, and a kid at that, I wouldn't pay attention. Men stare at me a lot and it gets on my nerves. But women never do, so I don't pay attention and try not to look back. I don't think I'm being clocked though; I think it's just men being, um, men. As in they have some right to stare at women even when she notices and they just keep looking. This guy gave me a flower the other day and some other guy kept trying to hit on me with my BF right there. He was passing by though, so yeah. The last thing I want is for my BF to have to get in a fight or something. And he would to. He always says to me how if anybody ever says anything to me when he is around he'll beat their a$$.

But if it's just one person, steph, don't let it get to you. Kids are just kids and stare for all sorts of unknown reasons.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 03, 2014, 09:57:38 PM
The one thing you will want to do if you're going to transition is try hard not to decipher people's stares and what they mean. people stare for all sorts of reasons. If it's only one person, and a kid at that, I wouldn't pay attention. Men stare at me a lot and it gets on my nerves. But women never do, so I don't pay attention and try not to look back. I don't think I'm being clocked though; I think it's just men being, um, men. As in they have some right to stare at women even when she notices and they just keep looking. This guy gave me a flower the other day and some other guy kept trying to hit on me with my BF right there. He was passing by though, so yeah. The last thing I want is for my BF to have to get in a fight or something. And he would to. He always says to me how if anybody ever says anything to me when he is around he'll beat their a$$.

But if it's just one person, steph, don't let it get to you. Kids are just kids and stare for all sorts of unknown reasons.

yea , thanks it was a weird experience

I think its just a kid being a kid. At that age they tend to stare at anyone...who knows what thoughts are going through their brains. Now if the kid said something like, "You look like a boy", or similar to you, or heard questioning something of the like to her mother regarding you, then you got clocked. Most of my troubles were from small children, they see everything in minute detail, noticing things that most adults miss, from adam's apple to subtleties in your voice or mannerism, or your height or body shape, and many times they can't help but vocalize what they've discovered (yeah, announce it to the whole world why don't you). As unnerving as it is, I think it was just a staring child, some stare, some don't.

Kids are unapologetically honest and have this strange ability to just sense things >_< I hate it... I was at a Walmart and this kid was LOUDLY asking her dad "daddy is that a boy or a girl?" And pointing at me, luckily the dad had one of those "sit down and shut up" attitudes (it was late at night). In another incident much earlier into transition, a little kid asked his mom "why is that boy dressed like a girl?"...

If they stare, no big deal, sometimes kids just stare for no real reason, I just hate when they express their brutally honest and curious questions and opinions -_-

Quote from: LittleEmily24 on June 03, 2014, 10:12:38 PM
Kids are unapologetically honest and have this strange ability to just sense things >_< I hate it... I was at a Walmart and this kid was LOUDLY asking her dad "daddy is that a boy or a girl?" And pointing at me, luckily the dad had one of those "sit down and shut up" attitudes (it was late at night). In another incident much earlier into transition, a little kid asked his mom "why is that boy dressed like a girl?"...

If they stare, no big deal, sometimes kids just stare for no real reason, I just hate when they express their brutally honest and curious questions and opinions -_-

Kids do that "boy or girl" thing all the time when I am at work, since I am in "male mode" there. I suppose that is probably a sign I should start looking seriously into going full time. They are just kinda creepy, kids with their keen sense of observation and curiosity.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on June 03, 2014, 09:57:38 PM
The one thing you will want to do if you're going to transition is try hard not to decipher people's stares and what they mean. people stare for all sorts of reasons. If it's only one person, and a kid at that, I wouldn't pay attention.

Probably the best advice in the whole thread. I didn't look further.

Kids stared at me way before I ever started transition, Im kinda used to it.  Funny thing for me is when Im dressed more femininly they tend to stare way less, go figure.  Today at the store some girl was staring at me, and as I walked away she started singing that stupid jason derulo wiggle song, looked back when i reached the end of the aisle, she was still staring and singing... I love kids, but what the heck?

Quote from: Megan Joanne on June 03, 2014, 10:09:59 PM
I think its just a kid being a kid. At that age they tend to stare at anyone...who knows what thoughts are going through their brains. I think it was just a staring child, some stare, some don't.

I agree.

It's just something that a lot of children do. I've noticed this even more now that I have a lot of very young nieces and nephews.

A 5 y.o. is going to have an extremely short attention span. Except if it's something small and shiny, or, just odd, yeah they'll stare. They are old enough to distinguish sexes. I think an unbiased face value read of what the child's thought processes where at the time of the stare should be given. So - what Emily said.

Also, yes, they can pose the boy or girl question, but it can be two meanings.

"Is that a boy or girl?"
"Is that a boy dressed as a girl?

As trans people, I think we give ourselves a bit too much credit for being slick. We're not pulling the sheets over every cis person out there.

The last thing I can see myself caring about is what a 5 year old thinks.   Group of drunken, hostile men, yes.  Kid, no way.

The weird thing is that I used to scare little kids, now they smile at me.   Kids do pick up on things.

fk me 5 year old girls stare at me all the time!
little witches!!!!

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 04, 2014, 12:04:32 AM
As trans people, I think we give ourselves a bit too much credit for being slick. We're not pulling the sheets over every cis person out there.

I don't know about everyone but I would hope that our goal is not to "pull the sheets over",  be "slick", or "trick" cis people.  Most people just want to live and be accepted as their gender, not "fool" everyone

No what I mean is I notice a lot of evasive thinking going on with trans people trying to explain away the odd public stares and multiple takes, when a more simpler explanation is likely.

Unless you're sure you are attractive enough to be easy on the eyes, those stares probably mean something else...

(you're being clocked)

Quote from: EmoAlice on June 04, 2014, 01:33:01 AM
I don't know about everyone but I would hope that our goal is not to "pull the sheets over",  be "slick", or "trick" cis people.  Most people just want to live and be accepted as their gender, not "fool" everyone

no  matter your goal
it will still be difficult...

but indeed we do not wish to fool people
we want to be validated as our true selves

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 04, 2014, 01:41:53 AM
No what I mean is I notice a lot of evasive thinking going on with trans people trying to explain away the odd public stares and multiple takes, when a more simpler explanation is likely.

Unless you're sure you are attractive enough to be easy on the eyes, those stares probably mean something else...

(you're being clocked)

have I told you that I really enjoy your rational way of thinking?

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 04, 2014, 01:41:53 AM
No what I mean is I notice a lot of evasive thinking going on with trans people trying to explain away the odd public stares and multiple takes, when a more simpler explanation is likely.

Unless you're sure you are attractive enough to be easy on the eyes, those stares probably mean something else...

(you're being clocked)

You're probably right.  Although it's probably hurting people less to come up with other explanations than to assume the worst, and confidence is only going to make passing better, right?  I say let people explain it away...just my opinion.

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on June 04, 2014, 01:44:07 AM
no  matter your goal
it will still be difficult...

but indeed we do not wish to fool people
we want to be validated as our true selves


have I told you that I really enjoy your rational way of thinking?

Thank ye. That's why I won't even self proclaim myself as passing when I know - I don't. And I won't candy coat my public perceptions when writing about my experiences either.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 04, 2014, 01:41:53 AM
No what I mean is I notice a lot of evasive thinking going on with trans people trying to explain away the odd public stares and multiple takes, when a more simpler explanation is likely.

Unless you're sure you are attractive enough to be easy on the eyes, those stares probably mean something else...

(you're being clocked)

There's a group of kids that live in my neighborhood. One in particular is probably a 6 or 7 yr old girl. She always looked at me apprehensively when I went out to my car for work. Well one day, when I was walking to my car I saw one of her friends fall while playing, and scrape his hands and knees on the gravel. I went to help, dusted him off and looked at it to make sure it was okay. By that time the mom came out and I told her what happened and told her that he had a little scrape but it wasn't bad. The girl went over to the mom and "Yeah, the lady that I thought looked mean saw it all happen. She's not so mean after all!" I kinda laughed it off. After that, she and I always smiled at each other and said hi when I was going out to my car in the morning.

There's a million reasons kids stare. For all we know, her hair might have looked pink in the light.

Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on June 04, 2014, 01:03:18 AM
fk me 5 year old girls stare at me all the time!
little witches!!!!

BTW - your avatar.