Hello world, I am Trudi!
Now I have that out of the way let me first say thank you to the owner of this site for providing a refuge for newly transitioning people.
Now to my story... I have never truly been happy in my own skin ever since I was a child. While yes I was out doing some of the normal things a young boy would do (for example riding snow-mobiles or hiking) I never had an interest in things like sports or trading collector cards. I preferred to be either on my own or helping out around the house.
Later on (I was about eight) my best friend & I snuck into a neighbours barn and he had a paper bag with him (during the mid 70's). He reached in and pulled out some of his sister's panties. He said let's try them on, oh my! I loved the feeling of the soft cotton on my skin. I never had much opportunity to do anything like that for a number of years as the house always had someone home. It was not until my teens I could do anything like that, and to experiment further. I would sneak in and pilfer some of my younger sister's clothes and at night wear them while I was walking up to the local park. I was free for those short times.
Once I was an adult I would wait until my partners were out and get dressed, by this time I had been married (twice and fathered 2 children to the first wife) and growing ever more frustrated that I could not be who I really was. My own family's expectations were to fit this exterior, but inside I was crying my heart out! My most recent relationship of 3.5 years I finally got up the courage to tell her my secret, I do love her but she could not be in an intimate relationship with me in that way although she would help me through my transition. I cried for the point of losing her as my partner but also for the love she has for me as a good friend.
A very short time after that she had asked that I find a place to live as soon as possible, I was very fortunate to find a very accepting family not too far away who do not question when I am home dressed as who I truly yearn to be.
Now a few days ago I plucked up enough courage to tell my elder sister my secret.. before that I have a small story to tell, after the split of my second marriage I went back to Canada for a short time and while I was there I was informed that my brother-in-law is now my sister-in-law! I commented "Now that is a coincidence"... ok, back to my sister. My sister invited me over for dinner and we started chatting about work and other small talk. My nephew was hoping I would come over and help with choosing computer parts for a system he wants to build (I have worked in IT for many years). We had gone through the process and then my sister was preparing dinner and she suggested we have a glass of wine each, so I did the honours. After I handed her the glass we moved into the living room and I remarked that when I heard the point of my new sister-in-law I thought it coincidental. My sister retorted "how come?" I said that I have been trans since I was very young. It stunned her! Again I have had to put on this facade of being male for over 40 years, now I have a chance to be me.
I have to tell my own children before I broadcast it, which I fully intended to do. In fact I have an appointment on the 16th of June with a well respected physician in the local trans community to see about starting on hormones.
So... Hello world, I am Trudi!
