Granted, but now that every gets up or not as they please, you never know when to call.

I wish for accurate wishes....

Granted. A pile of "Accurate" brand tires fall from the sky crushing you as they land. Each one has the word "wish" painted on the side.

I wish for a yummy ham sandwich on whole wheat with Swiss cheese please. And a glass of milk.

Granted. The thing you most love in the world is now a yummy ham sandwich on whole wheat with swiss cheese and a glass of milk.  Bon apatite

I wish I wasn't so tired right now

Granted. your going to be inflicted with terrible hallucinations because you are now a massive insomniac
I wish upon a star

Granted you are now the first person to wish upon a star. Scientists are not sure what was your demise the lack of atmosphere in space or the gas and radiation from the star. But congratulations you wished upon a star.

I wish my voice would return

Granted: but its the voice of Johnny Cash

I wish I was in a successful band

I'll walk the line

Granted but your the drummer.  Let all the jokes at your expense commence.

I wish I was back in Queensland right now

Granted: But you have to live in Woodridge.. and not the good part of Woodridge
The 'woodridge' part of Woodridge

I wish I lived in London

(Woodridge doesn't bother me. Living that close to Alexandra Hills and relatives I can't stand. My wish has been corrupted. Bravo)

Granted your new home is in the center of London covering 12 acres, while your room is 27m high. Welcome to the tower (yes you are stuck in your room)

I wish my brain was firing so I knew what to say when needed instead of playing games

Granted, you always know what to say,....245 hours too late.

I wish I could be paid and not have to work.

Granted, you are now an old well, I which people throw coins.
I wish for everyone in the world to be happy.

Granted: But how can happiness exist if there is no sadness?, emotions are relative, so in essence no one would feel anything,
YOUR WISH HAS STRIPPED HUMANITY OF ITS... humanity?

Shock Horror 

sorry about the hole relative thing, I couldn't resist

I wish I was secretary general of the United Nations*

*(Yes, I am a politics nerd )

Granted, you are done with med school and still alive and happy, but you become such a workaholic you won't marry someone (and if you already have someone you'll lose him/her), nor have friends (you're always occupied with work), and are constantly sleep deprived. But you love your job, so at least you are happy!

I wish I could do magic!

Granted. you become overloaded with mana particles that you'll exploded after casting a spell
i wish i was swinging on trees

Granted: You are now a parapalegic monkey...

I wish I could transform into, and back from, a raven at will, keeping my own mind intact.

Granted. you fly into a cave after one of your transformations and all my vampire bats swam and attack you
i wish i didnt wake up sweating from the heat

Granted, but now your body overheats and you die.

I wish there weren't so many stupid people!

granted but you are now the stupidest person on earth

i wish i could be be with my best friend

Quote from: Elanore joey on June 11, 2014, 10:27:08 AM
granted but you are now the stupidest person on earth

i wish i could be be with my best friend

Granted, but your best friend is convicted of a felony and falsely names you as an accomplice. You're both given 25 to life and housed in the same cell.

I wish you a merry Christmas.

Granted. a rain of fire comes from the sky and destroys the world on christmas
i wish my headphones could speak