Abby, there is no way that I will or ever will tell someone what they should or shouldn't do. Too many times, well actually most times, I have been on the shouldn't do end of the spectrum. But some things to consider. Do we ever really know anyone? I have thought I knew people on close personal levels for years and then one day the closet door opens and all the skeletons come falling out. Don't let your guy's family and them being Baptists paint a clear picture of him or his friends. The absolute wildest girl that I ever dated, her dad was a pentecostal preacher. I was extremely wild and willing to do just about anything for a good time or cheap thrill and this girl wanted to do things that even I was apprehensive about. Her brother was a dealer and her sister was a lesbian prostitute. All of this from a wholesome Christian background. So don't think just because his parents have some sort morals that he has those same principles. I am sexually open and a little kinky too but I don't hide it, never did but those that do feel they have to hide it just for whatever reasons seem to let it out in uncontrollable waves or urges. Sometimes they will tend to take it too far. Like I say I am not gonna judge or I won't try to persuade you on what to do, just giving you a head's up. Just trust your intuition and if something doesn't seem right or seems like you are headed into danger, get away or don't go through with whatever. This is for any situation.
Now about reputations. Word gets around and there is absolutely no way of stopping it. I had a really bad reputation and was really proud of it. To prove how manly I was, it was all about how many women with the occasional guy thrown in the mix (just to satisfy the girl in me) that I had or how crazy I could get. Most people thought that I would never make it out of my twenties alive, maybe I wasn't even trying to. Now I am past 40 and when I go home people still talk about the stuff I did that frankly I don't even remember or remember them. I always get "Hey, you are So and So aintcha?" I say yeah and then they start telling me things that I did in the "good ol' days" at this party or that party or this gig or that gig. In other words reputations follow you throughout life. I have absolutely no regrets but if I could do things different you bet I would. Just because I missed out on some possible meaningful relationships for the next wild child like me running hard and fast for a cheap thrill or to add a little bit more to an already bad reputation. Yes I was the one everybody's mama warned them about.
I never tell anyone how to or how they should live thier lives. That is completely up to you as to how you live yours. But take it from someone that has been there, think about what is gonna come down the line in twenty someodd years and be prepared to either own it or double think it now. I own mine and even I am surprized I am not in jail or the cemetary or ever caught anything from anyone else. I'm not proud and not really ashamed either but that reputation costs me a couple of possible really meaningful relationships when I was ready to have them.
Like I said Abby, I am not trying to tell you what or what not to do but rather just be prepared for certain reputations, make sure that you can handle the reputations emotionally and psychologically because reputations follow you throughout your life. With a bad reputation you really need to have a hellacious amount of self esteem and self confidence. Just be careful and use your best judgement.
No matter what you do, I won't think any less of you for doing anything. What worries me is that I don't want you to think less of yourself. So just be careful.
