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comparing your self to other women

Started by stephaniec, June 18, 2014, 02:05:39 PM

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Natalie

Comparing ourselves to other girls is quite common amongst women. It's part of the personal verses social identity continuum where we can perceive ourselves differently at any given moment dependent on where we are on this objective scale. Think of it as intragroup comparisons where we compare ourselves with other people whom share our group membership (i.e. being female). Not only must gender [sex] be salient for gender [sex] differences  in self-construal to emerge, but recent research has also shown that how we perceive ourselves depends mostly on whether we are comparing ourselves to the same gender [sex] or a different gender [sex]. In many cases our comparison to other women is done out of envy where we see something that another girl has and we want it (e.g. having small breasts and seeing girls with big boobs) we then tend to focus or fixate on that "thing" and compare it to ourselves, but one have to be careful because in doing so it can lead to self-depreciating behaviors (e.g. I won't ever get big boobs, it's because I was not born biologically female, I look stupid).

In a lot of cases we are doing an upward social comparison where we compare ourselves to people we perceive4 to be better or superior to us and find reasons to sort of degrade them in favor of ourselves. I think this is more prevalent in transsexual women because of our heightened self-evaluation maintenance model. Thus, in order to try and keep a positive view of ourselves we tend to distance ourselves from other people who perform better than we do on valued dimensions (e.g. pre-operative transsexual girls being sarcastic to those of us that have had SRS causing us to be a sort of social pariah in the transgender group) and move closer to others who perform worse than us like when post-operative transsexual women sort of takes a new transsexual girl "under her wings." This works both ways between between the two minimal groups.
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Autumn

I do it all the time and hate myself for it. I always end up disappointed. I have unrealistically high standards for myself and it kills me when I see other trans girls that look way better than I do. The main thing that gets me is facial structure. I'm happy with my style and the progress my body has made, but my face is what disappoints me and makes me insanely jealous of others.

Allyda

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 19, 2014, 01:12:38 AM
I'm more interested in doing my own thing, being unique and respected for my own sensibilities. Less is more right? So I'm planning to dress like a conservative lesbian to really stand apart while not drawing anyone to clock me for dressing too feminine.




Just imagine being trans but doing it so right, it just can't be wrong. ;D Everything needs to line up and have visual harmony tuned for my own passability. I can easily take my look to Madison Avenue and still blend comfortably in.

I'm probably going to drop around $5K on designer clothing this year especially for cooler weather layered attire. So there's nothing really for me to compare to since I'm on a different spending bracket. I already know I'll look good. So why stress.

I'm really on a mission. I just want to steamroll over all my haters in life. Whoever they may be. ;D

And also what Michelle said.
You and I would get along great Evelyn. While I'm not quite as conservative, I tend to be my own person and dress comfortably but feminine and choose clothing that enhances my best features. As a lesbian I know that's probably not the norm. I've been told by many trans and cis women that I have great fashion sense, and am always getting invitations to go shopping to help other girls pick out outfits. I don't know where I get it from if I even have it, lol! When I leave Florida next year I'm going to need some winter clothing as well but I'll wait until I get to my destination for the shopping trip.

But as for your mission Evelyn, I'm right there with ya girl!

As for our topic, I've looked at other women admiring an outfit she or they may be wearing, but I've never felt the urge to compare myself to them.

Ally :icon_flower:
Allyda
Full Time August 2009
HRT Dec 27 2013
VFS [ ? ]
FFS [ ? ]
SRS Spring 2015



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Evelyn K

Quote from: Allyda on June 21, 2014, 12:57:04 PM
You and I would get along great Evelyn. While I'm not quite as conservative, I tend to be my own person and dress comfortably but feminine and choose clothing that enhances my best features. As a lesbian I know that's probably not the norm. I've been told by many trans and cis women that I have great fashion sense, and am always getting invitations to go shopping to help other girls pick out outfits. I don't know where I get it from if I even have it, lol! When I leave Florida next year I'm going to need some winter clothing as well but I'll wait until I get to my destination for the shopping trip.

But as for your mission Evelyn, I'm right there with ya girl!


As for our topic, I've looked at other women admiring an outfit she or they may be wearing, but I've never felt the urge to compare myself to them.

Ally :icon_flower:


Yep. I'm a feminazi misandrist and if I can be sour grapes, the better. :D I want to crush all of my competition.

All. :)

Don't hate the player. Hate the game!
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