They will go up, they will go down, they may seem to be totally gone at times. They never go away. Even at the times you feel they are gone, if you allow yourself to be totally honest with yourself (a very hard thing to do) you may see they are really there, humming along in the background.
I relied on what I call the 3Ds; Diversions, Distractions, and Denial for a good 30 years "to get by". It came at a great cost to me as a person in spite of all the supposed personal success my life had. It also led to several utter total and complete disasters in my life.
I found life works far better just being me. Figuring out who me is taking a lot of work, but well worth it