Quote from: Jess42 on June 23, 2014, 04:13:24 PM
Yeah, wasn't there a post here about two or three weeks ago someone wanting to meet transgirls or wanted a transgirlfriend or marry and transgirl? I thought that was kind of creepy. I think one of the mods told them this wasn't a dating sight I replied and metioned the creepy part and then one of the mods locked it up pretty quick.

No, the real creepy people don't say what they really want, they might even be in denial with themselves, and they'll reply to all your posts and give you lots of attention, and pm you and pretty quickly ask for some off-site private way of contacting you when it's not even necessary.

They just keep testing and pushing your boundaries while maintaining this fake exterior of being like you and on your side and nice.

I'm guessing people really feel insecure about their real selves that they put up a fake avatar or they really want to mock us.
For those wondering, my avatar is a cartoon self-portrait of me wanting to be a prince.

Quote from: Jill F on June 23, 2014, 01:44:23 PM

I am 100% for real and I don't have to worry about keeping my story straight, because what I tell is the straight story.

Definitely this! I know it hard to believe, but my avatar is really me. I know, ewww.

I considered changing mine to an awesome pic of cosplayer Abby Dark-Star (solely because the pic is awesome) but I didn't want to mislead anyone.  I might stick to the Sons Of Samedi logo.

Quote from: sad panda on June 23, 2014, 04:24:59 PM
No, the real creepy people don't say what they really want, they might even be in denial with themselves, and they'll reply to all your posts and give you lots of attention, and pm you and pretty quickly ask for some off-site private way of contacting you when it's not even necessary.

They just keep testing and pushing your boundaries while maintaining this fake exterior of being like you and on your side and nice.

Yeah, that should throw up a red flag for sure. I think I put up myself as an avatar 1 time for about 10 minutes and then thought better of it. Since anyone can just pass through and look too many people may recognize me and I'm only out to a few select people. But there are a lot of creepy people in the world and who knows? I may live next door to one of 'em. You just never know.

Quote from: bunnymom on June 23, 2014, 02:15:40 PMI'm just an average middle aged woman.

Are there no real talking animals on the internet anymore?

Quote from: Ms Grace on June 23, 2014, 02:48:33 PM
Sadly it's a form of Münchausen by Internet, but instead of a gravely ill persona some people go for some kind of fantasy trans existence with bizarre little tragedies or dramas sprinkled here and there that actually seem to have little basis in reality.

Grace, this brings up an interesting point.  Half the time, I think I'm making all this trans stuff up in my head, that I'm mentally ill, and that if I can just stop thinking about it (e.g. leaving here and not coming back again, finding a time-consuming hobby, spending more time at work or with the kids etc.) it'll all just be revealed for the fantasy that it is and I can move on with my normal life.  And sometimes I worry that it's now some bizarre fantasy that has gone waaaay too far with the whole therapy thing, now the hormones, coming out to family etc.  It's almost as if I could have started off with Münchausen, but it's actually gone so far that it's become true.  Of course, in reality I'm just in massive denial, but the lines between what is real and what is pretend are somewhat blurred in many cases.

Weeding out the deliberate fakers is very important.  There are plenty of posters here who I deeply respect, and whose experiences and advice I value as much as that of my therapist, my spouse, and my doctors.  It would be absolutely devastating to find out that any of those posters were just elaborate fakers - I can't imagine what that would do to anyone's confidence and level of trust.

Whatever can be done to protect the integrity of this site should be done.  This place is far more than an internet screwing-around discussion board.  It's a vitally-important resource for many of us who need to connect in a community which is naturally rather guarded.  Thankfully, most of the weirdos show their true colors very quickly, but there may be some who can do plenty of damage - knowingly or unknowingly - before they disappear.

Mods - you're doing a fantastic job.  Your work is much appreciated.

I don't show my picture because I don't feel comfortable showing it yet. Just reality.

I'll just post this here in case anyone decides I'm one of these "pretenders" -- no, the girl in my avatar is not me. I've never attempted to convince anyone she is, and whenever people ask, "Is that you in your avatar," I always laugh and give an, "I wish," type of response. She's there for two reasons. 1) I feel she's a good physical representation of who I am on the inside, and 2) She's what I want to look like someday. She gives me something to work towards, in a sense.

I hope this isn't a problem for anyone. Sephirah often does the same thing with her avatars, after all, using images of girls she feels she would have looked like if she were born cis, or how she'd like to look.

When I'm eligible to have an avatar (this'll be my 5th or 6th post, xD), it'll be a drawing- I'm not there in my transition to feel proud of the way that I look, not yet.

My avatar is not really me.  I don't want to mislead anybody..

Quote from: Pikachu on June 23, 2014, 05:13:22 PM
I'll just post this here in case anyone decides I'm one of these "pretenders" -- no, the girl in my avatar is not me. I've never attempted to convince anyone she is, and whenever people ask, "Is that you in your avatar," I always laugh and give an, "I wish," type of response. She's there for two reasons. 1) I feel she's a good physical representation of who I am on the inside, and 2) She's what I want to look like someday. She gives me something to work towards, in a sense.

I hope this isn't a problem for anyone. Sephirah often does the same thing with her avatars, after all, using images of girls she feels she would have looked like if she were born cis, or how she'd like to look.

No, no, using avatars of other people is not the problem (I'm not really a bus driver, I just play one on tv  ). The problem arises when someone claims someone else's image as them. Or when asked about the photo, lies that it's them. And it's not that difficult to figure out, since most posers tend to use popular images on the net.

Oftentimes the photo accompanies a bunch of posts that read like a fairytale. Usually there's some perfect prince charming in the mix, etc.

Quote from: __________ on June 23, 2014, 04:38:56 PM
Weeding out the deliberate fakers is very important.  There are plenty of posters here who I deeply respect, and whose experiences and advice I value as much as that of my therapist, my spouse, and my doctors.  It would be absolutely devastating to find out that any of those posters were just elaborate fakers - I can't imagine what that would do to anyone's confidence and level of trust.

Whatever can be done to protect the integrity of this site should be done.  This place is far more than an internet screwing-around discussion board.  It's a vitally-important resource for many of us who need to connect in a community which is naturally rather guarded.  Thankfully, most of the weirdos show their true colors very quickly, but there may be some who can do plenty of damage - knowingly or unknowingly - before they disappear.

Mods - you're doing a fantastic job.  Your work is much appreciated.

Yeah, it would seem like harmless fantasy, but it's not. They're engaging the members in their story and deceiving them, leeching their time and sympathy. We had one awhile back that drew a lot of people in. For months, everyone was so concerned for her and engaged with her story. It wasn't until after she had undergone several face transplants, and her 'boyfriend' was on here updating us about her recovery (with the exact same distinctive posting style she used) that people started to realize they'd been had. The whole 'face transplants' thing was apparently to explain why her photos were of different women.

It's just not fair to the real members here sharing their real stories.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 23, 2014, 02:24:12 PM
Yeah... posting pictures of genetic females and trying to claim that they're trans women is seriously not cool...

It results in really nasty bouts of dysphoria for those who actually are trans, because it makes us feel like we got cheated in the genetic lottery, and it's kind of torturous to think that someone else's life is all peaches and roses appearance-wise while we have to suffer and scratch and claw for every single iota of our femininity.

This too. Sure, there are plenty of lovely trans ladies here indistinguishable from cis women. But passing off a cis girl as a trans girl is just plain wrong. And could cause confusion as to what can be realistically achieved results wise. Especially if a bunch of people do it.

Bottomline - we're interested in who you really are, your real story, and if you share it, your real face. We don't want to hear your fairytales. I'd suggest some fiction sites for that.

Quote from: FA on June 23, 2014, 05:41:59 PM
(I'm not really a bus driver, I just play one on tv  ).

Come on FA, that ain't really you? Crap. Actually I love Jackie Gleason and I maybe dating myself (get ya'lls minds out of the gutters for those that went there) but I loved the Honeymooners.

Quote from: jamienicoled on June 23, 2014, 05:42:46 PM
Haha...thanks Candice ...and trust me, I did! :-D  I can safely say (because I asked my wife...lol) that your also very beautiful.

Funny quick story: I was once told by someone I know that I look like Jennifer Aniston and I thought ...Your nutz! Then...I got it again... and a third.. and a fourth time. I started thinking my wife was behind some joke or something...lol THEN...there I was, laying on the O.R. table in Thailand ...and the nurse... whom I've never met or seen before in my life ...and who couldn't hardly speak english. She starts trying to say what I though was my name. Struggling through "J..Ja..Jaa" So I'm like, "Yes, my name is Jamie." Then she's says, "No, no, no... Jee Jenn.. Jennifer Aniston." I started laughing and figured, I guess maybe?.... I still don't see it though...lol  but apparently a half a doz people or so that I know ...and some non-english speaking nurse at Aikchol Hospital in Chonburi Thailand thinks I look like her....lmao

Yeah I can see a resemblence to Jennifer Aniston too. It may be the hair. I don't think I have ever seen Jennifer Aniston smile so happy though, but I ain't ever seen her drinkin' wine either. Just saying... Wine is fine. But beer's better.

This is the sort of thread where you think, "There's a story here and I'm so happy I don't know it." 

No possibility of pictures for me for a few more posts.  Probably just as well at the moment, honestly. 

Quote from: CandiceSkirvin on June 23, 2014, 05:15:05 PM
You are pretty attractive to me. You are beautiful. You are also right about anyone being a potential target. It's awful, but that's the world today.

Flattery is something I appreciate even, if I don't feel beautiful most days.

@all:
This reminds me though, perhaps it is best, if people who take pictures with iPhones and some other phones that put location data into the photograph, to strip the pictures of such data before you post them. Or stop the phone from recording the date in the first place. I do not like the idea that pics are geotagged especially with just how creepy some people can be. Everyone should know info like this: http://netsecurity.about.com/od/iphoneipodtouchapps/a/How-To-Remove-Geotags-From-Pictures-Taken-On-Your-Iphone.htm

It's a story that just never seems to quit.  I used to be here back when Susan was moderating solo and it was the wild west it seemed like for haters, fakers, and trolls.  Shame that it still happens, but in the back of my mind, I know it always will.

Quote from: Colleen M on June 23, 2014, 05:59:29 PM
This is the sort of thread where you think, "There's a story here and I'm so happy I don't know it." 

LOL

QuoteNo possibility of pictures for me for a few more posts.  Probably just as well at the moment, honestly.

No need to worry. If you're not trying to deceive anyone, you're fine. 

"How do you beat a lie detector?  You tell the truth"
Yes in the real world truth is stranger then fiction.  But this is a support site where we all help each other any and which way we can. How is that suppose to work when people try to sell a fantasy. It makes it harder (for me anyway) to trust someone the next time round the tell a tale asking for help and support, or wanting to spread some fantastic news they received

Quote from: jamienicoled on June 23, 2014, 06:20:40 PM
Thank you Jess      ...and for anyone who feels that for some reason they don't want to display photo (and remember, this post was about people displaying a false image of themselves ..not scolding those who wish not to display) ...if your not comfortable with a photo, that's cool... it simply sounds like your not in that comfort zone yet... and for various, important reasons I'm sure! I think we've all been there!? Just keep two things in mind... two very important things for ANY girl... One: Don't be too hard on yourself! And two: Confidence is the key to success!

Thank you. I kinda' got two things goin' on businesswise. And way too many people know me and there is way too many people that may pass through that know me. Like I said I did one time for about ten minutes, but lost my nerve. One day maybe. But thanks for the kind words. Just right now anonimty is my best friend.

Pictures are easy to fake.  A story would be hard and one should be able to determine what is real. 

That is me, five weeks after spending some 16 hours under the scalpel of on Dr Zukowski. I'm updating it tomorrow night as I look a little better.  I shot probably 30 pictures to get that one.

There is a girl here on Susan's that I consider more than a friend whom I love her as a sister even though I don't really know her that well.  She helped me more than she will ever know or understand.  We went out and had Thai last week. 

Abuse of this site dishonors and causes problems for so many that don't need any extra problems. Resist the temptation.

Hugs,

Jen