So my name's Jessica and I was born a girl but mentally I am a guy (Jake) . I want to tell my parents about me being a transgender before summer is over and I really want to do it soon because I want to be know as Jake once school starts again. I am planning to do it on Thursday when my mom and me are in the car when we go shopping, but I have no idea what to say to her. I have told my sister and she was cool with it and she actually supports me. My mom doesn't really know much about transgender people and I think I may have to explain it to her.  I really need help on how to tell my mom I'm transgender and how to make her understand.

i always go the hypothetical what if route but for me, i just came out and adamantly told my mom. is your mom a person who doesnt really care who you are and would support you no matter what or is she a person who has a firm belief that we are born the way we are and shouldnt change that? knowing this could help you formulate a more effective plan of action as well as side plans

A big warm welcome to the family Jake! I am so happy you found us because you are now part of a huge support system. Relax, dig right in and learn and have some fun. I don't know if I would tell her WHILE she is driving.  Just tell her how you feel and what your plans are. It is really the only way to do it. Be honest and respectful and it will be returned to you. Maybe not the same day, but in the future I hope.

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Hey Jake

I'm glad that your sister took your coming out to her well. I started talking to my mother about things that I had read or seen to see how she would react and get a feel for what she knew about transgender then I decided to come out to her and talk through it. Testing the water so to speak not only gives you a chance to see how a parent will react but it also gives you time to figure out what you want to say and how you want to say it. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions Maybe see if your sister will sit with you when you talk to your mom so you have some support there.

I don't think I ever told my mother, but I'm not sure. If I did it was a long time ago and her reaction wasn't memorable.

I told my father a few years ago, and he wasn't particularly accepting. Sometime in the last year, he sent me a birthday card with my male name in it. That is major progress. The card was in the shape of a football, which was so over the top cliche boy-associated that it made me laugh, but it was a huge relief.

Neither of my parents seemed to have any knowledge about transgender/transsexual people before I came out to them. With your own, you might have to give a lot of wiggle room for possible innocent ignorance.

Jake,

Please reconsider telling her while she's operating a moving vehicle If she doesn't take it well, or gets angry, I'd hate to see y'all get in a wreck. Tell her you need to talk to her about something important, when she has at least a half hour to give you her undivided attention.

You might open up by saying something like, "Mom, I'd like to see a therapist. I'm pretty sure I'm transgender, and I want to talk to someone about it." Or you can write her a letter and sit patiently while she reads it. Lots of sample coming out letters here on Susan's. If she doesn't know anything about transgender, see if you can get her to watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHCqnux2fk&feature=youtu.be

Please know that everyone here supports you and will be here for you no matter what

-Jay