That doesn't surprise me. I've told people in my town that we've been living in "1984" for a while now. They just give me this blank stare in return.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 25, 2014, 07:23:53 AM
...
I used to think I was too paranoid, until a brand-new coworker actually did put together my past public career with my current incarnation using only Google and extrapolation, and then came and confronted me with a video of my male self. UGH. I mean, I'm not stealth, and it's not that hard to connect that particular set of dots, but I like to be in control of what I tell people and how.

OK, just saying... but the "brand-new coworker"? Creepy.

I'm crazy scared about putting my pic up and being spotted by someone I know, but it is for now.  I know I don't pass, hence, why I'm hiding my face,

<---  but that is me.

Many of us use toon avatars, some, to hide the pain and hurt, some to just be funny, some to inform.. 'don't know how long I'll be brave enough to have me actually there either.

I've often used other ciswomen for avatars on other sites and im programs, always though stating when asked that it was not me.  There was also an abundance of people using models and other found images as their avatars so the main assumption was always Probably not the actual person.

On here though, IDK, didn't feel right to me (not at all a judgement on anyone using a model or found image as their avatar, this was more a personal thing).  Yet I'm still pre-everything, so taking an actual photo would be as "not me" as anything else.  Sure it's the face I wear and was born too, but well, don't think I really have to explain further.

Hence my over abundance of personal artwork for my avatars. 

Ellie : Thanks - I'm glad I'm not the only one who found that creepy. (The whole encounter was unpleasant, since he seemed accusatory or something.)

i know its wrong, but i cant find the comfortability to keep my actually self as my profile pic, but you all know what i look like so

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 25, 2014, 07:23:53 AM
II used to think I was too paranoid, until a brand-new coworker actually did put together my past public career with my current incarnation using only Google and extrapolation, and then came and confronted me with a video of my male self. UGH. I mean, I'm not stealth, and it's not that hard to connect that particular set of dots, but I like to be in control of what I tell people and how.

That is way past creepy maybe even borderline dangerous. I mean even though it might have been fairly easy that was a lot of work and a lot of research to go through for what? A brand new coworker at that? I think I would have done a little research afterward on that coworker myself.

Jess : I asked around a little myself, yeah. Turns out he's a major gossip, overheard my boss slip on pronouns (ARGH) and went digging.  Apparently he was kinda deflated when he tried to tell long-time people who'd known me pre-transition and they were all like "...and?"   He did similar crap with the boss's divorce (who cares?) and then people lost patience with him and he either dropped it or at least quit spreading tales.

Luckily, he didn't last long; turns out *he* had something major - think felony, and about kids - lurking and that was the end of his employment. Maybe that's why he was so snoopy about other people, I dunno.

So now I'm a touch paranoid. Again, not stealth, but also not interested in being The Token Trans at every turn, you know?

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on June 25, 2014, 02:25:56 PM
i know its wrong, but i cant find the comfortability to keep my actually self as my profile pic, but you all know what i look like so

It's not wrong Bri.  I'm the same way.  This thread isn't saying you have to use your actual self as a profile pic.  It also isn't saying it's wrong to use someone else as one.

It is however saying that using someone else as one AND claiming or implying either directly or indirectly that that person is you is wrong.  And making up false histories and pasts and presenting them as truth is wrong.

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on June 25, 2014, 02:45:59 PM
It's not wrong Bri.  I'm the same way.  This thread isn't saying you have to use your actual self as a profile pic.  It also isn't saying it's wrong to use someone else as one.

It is however saying that using someone else as one AND claiming or implying either directly or indirectly that that person is you is wrong.  And making up false histories and pasts and presenting them as truth is wrong.

lol. i'm like an open book so it would be impossible for me to pretend to be someone else, so you have no worries about me pretending to be someone i'm not. even in my mmorpgs i cant pretend to be someone else without throwing suspicious flags all over lol

Quote from: Jenna Marie on June 25, 2014, 02:44:33 PM
Jess : I asked around a little myself, yeah. Turns out he's a major gossip, overheard my boss slip on pronouns (ARGH) and went digging.  Apparently he was kinda deflated when he tried to tell long-time people who'd known me pre-transition and they were all like "...and?"   He did similar crap with the boss's divorce (who cares?) and then people lost patience with him and he either dropped it or at least quit spreading tales.

Luckily, he didn't last long; turns out *he* had something major - think felony, and about kids - lurking and that was the end of his employment. Maybe that's why he was so snoopy about other people, I dunno.

So now I'm a touch paranoid. Again, not stealth, but also not interested in being The Token Trans at every turn, you know?

There are a lot of weird people out there but I think that takes the cake. Just to gossip? Not to say I don't not like good natured gossiping about who is dating who, what so and so is wearing, so and so is soooo cute or adorable and so on. If it starts taking a mean or hurtful direction I just back out of it. But that sounds almost on the line of sinister or someone possibly looking into blackmailing someone.

Quote from: FA on June 23, 2014, 05:41:59 PM

Yeah, it would seem like harmless fantasy, but it's not. They're engaging the members in their story and deceiving them, leeching their time and sympathy. We had one awhile back that drew a lot of people in. For months, everyone was so concerned for her and engaged with her story. It wasn't until after she had undergone several face transplants, and her 'boyfriend' was on here updating us about her recovery (with the exact same distinctive posting style she used) that people started to realize they'd been had. The whole 'face transplants' thing was apparently to explain why her photos were of different women.

Oh my goodness I think I remember that one from the first time I was here a few years back.  My username was Rini then.  Of course you could be talking about a different scenario in which case that just proves your point even further. IIRC they were going to drive their car off a cliff into some body of water?  My god it was one of the most dramatic things I've read in a long time.  TBS material, DRAMA dum dum dum!  I don't think I'll be posting any pics until I've made significant process in my HRT.  And even then, I'll only have them up for a while.

Quote from: AnnaCannibal on June 25, 2014, 04:59:55 PM

Quote from: FA on June 23, 2014, 05:41:59 PM

Yeah, it would seem like harmless fantasy, but it's not. They're engaging the members in their story and deceiving them, leeching their time and sympathy. We had one awhile back that drew a lot of people in. For months, everyone was so concerned for her and engaged with her story. It wasn't until after she had undergone several face transplants, and her 'boyfriend' was on here updating us about her recovery (with the exact same distinctive posting style she used) that people started to realize they'd been had. The whole 'face transplants' thing was apparently to explain why her photos were of different women.

Oh my goodness I think I remember that one from the first time I was here a few years back.  My username was Rini then.  Of course you could be talking about a different scenario in which case that just proves your point even further. IIRC they were going to drive their car off a cliff into some body of water?  My god it was one of the most dramatic things I've read in a long time.  TBS material, DRAMA dum dum dum!  I don't think I'll be posting any pics until I've made significant process in my HRT.  And even then, I'll only have them up for a while.

I don't remember the particulars, but could be the same one. The story started out as reasonable and our members empathized and rallied around her, concerned about her troubles, and happy with her successes. But once she had people hooked, it got less believable.  Suddenly, there were photos that didn't match up with what she previously shared. They were clearly of several different women. So, then we had the facial surgery saga. And the boyfriend posting on her behalf. Uh huh.  By the time it got ridiculous and obvious, members had already been sucked in.

It's just not right on this type of forum. I mean, I sympathize, because obviously they've got issues. But our members are real people here with real feelings connecting on common ground. They don't deserve to be taken for a ride.

Quote from: Tysilio on June 25, 2014, 09:48:01 AM
It concerns me a bit that so many people here do post pictures of themselves, as avatars or otherwise, given that privacy online is effectively nonexistent. Face recognition technology is about at the point where someone can find an image, do a search for that face, and identify its user; certainly the gummint, Facebook, etc. have the ability to do this.

I have a kid in public school and I use a lot of government (or government-affiliated) services, so I am not allowed to be stealth in very many contexts. I think my neighbors don't know, but that's just because  my existence isn't relevant enough to them to prompt a google search. I hope that being easily findable online actually alleviates people's curiosity enough to make my life easier. I do try to always be ready to answer questions, though. Just being visible doesn't accomplish much in a world where most people are only recently finding out that we exist.

Thanks for thread & for your effort to try & keep things honest. I've been a member for 2-3 years on & off. There have been some people posting smoke however not many.  My best to all of us members. Those are for sure my green eyes, 15 days after my facelift. I'm feeling better each day & so very glad. 

There are several reason's I do not post a pic:

1) My wife threatened divorce if I come out publicly, she is afraid my daughter will be treated poorly and she will be pitied by coworkers ( she is ashamed of me),
2) HR has sent me several articles of transwoman coming out at work and a video and I am really scared people will find out and my life will be altered to satisfy their desires,
3) I look like a guy and 13 months on hormones has not changed that. I was looking in the mirror the other day and said to myself I look a little cuter,
4) I have a difficult time looking at a  beautiful woman and seeing myself.
5) The avatar issue is something I think about every time I come here, I feel like a chicken,
6) Every word I have written at Susan's is of me and true.

I use one of the avatars from the library on the site, and it is clearly artwork and NOT me.  I decline to post any picture for all the Internet privacy concerns repeated here.  I am in no way out.  All of my text is true and about me - since I live a really boring life there is no drama to draw attention.  The only "dramatic" thing I have had happen was a mega kitchen disaster that prompted my neighbor to come and see if I was OK after seeing the smoke venting out my windows and hearing the smoke alarm.  That is as exciting as I get...

I sort of have some compassion for those who have such serious issues they need to post fantasy stuff to get sympathy.  It stinks that they waste other members time and concern, but they must be really hurting in some way to feel they need to do that.  This is just sad.


Erin

Who would have thought this topic would draw so many posts? Yup what you see there is as much of me as I'll show cause I ain't pretty like some of you (sniff) and besides I need my anonymity for my family's sake.

It's my post FFS update......

I'm real!!!!!!  I'm going to send a PM to shan and jennygirl with before and after pics next week.  If they believe it, I'll post.  If not, well, I was there and can't believe it.

Hugs

Jen

fyi my avatar pic is not me.  are you surprised?       i don't think she (my avatar) is real either; what i mean is that she has been digitally enhanced to look artificial.  if you've been here for as long as i have, you know that i've never posted a real pic of myself.  Like FA says, nowadays it is very easy to do a picture reverse search on google.  just sayin'