Quote from: Carrie Liz on June 25, 2014, 01:23:53 PM
Seeing as how I pretty much followed the "I'll go full-time once I'm male-failing" regime, I can definitely give you at least one data point here.

I started being gendered female for the very first time, despite wearing men's pants, men's shoes, and a completely unisex work top, at pretty much exactly the 1-year mark. It would happen maybe once a week or so, a random person would call me "miss" or "she." As I was nearing the beginning of the 14-month mark, I was starting to be gendered female several times a day, and most people that I'd never met before were asking me what my name was before gendering me. (And this was despite being forced to completely hide my long hair, tucking it under so that it wasn't even visible.) So yeah... my face was read as female by someone for the first time at 12 months, and then it crossed over such that most people were gendering me female around 14 months.

At that point, I was fired from my job, so I went full-time, and started wearing more feminine clothes, and pretty much immediately began to be gendered female close to 100% of the time, so that's all I can say on the matter. I still have a long way to go, mainly my hair, but I've reached the point where I can go through an average day now, wearing only androgynously-female clothes and no makeup, and expect to not get gendered male by anyone.

I didn't start transition with long hair like others do, so that has admittedly really held me back from passing sooner, but from watching others' transition videos, the one-year mark does indeed seem to be the point where one's face really hits the crossover mark and starts looking more female than male, depending on age, genetics, and how many bony masculine features once's face has. And the 1-2 year transition timeline is where everything really starts rounding out and settling into a more or less completely-feminine appearance. (Again, depending on age, bone structure, and genetics.)

Wow lots of responses. Carrie your viewpoint is particularly telling, I've seen your before and afters and your transition in pictures so it's a great case study on what one might expect.

Alanaluvsu and Jennygirl are also great examples as well.

Quote from: Ashey on June 25, 2014, 04:32:50 PM
I started HRT around mid-October 2013, and I was passing half-time by mid-January 2014. The turning point there was when I got my eyebrows waxed. xD That really totally changed everything for some reason. It's tricky to narrow it all down though, but I think earlier in January I got my first ma'am since starting to transition, and that was with guy clothes on and carrying a small purse (and I had longish hair). And that was even talking like a guy. Surprised me a lot, but it happened. After that it was hit or miss, but there was a point where I realized I passed as long as I didn't say anything, so it was only my voice that was giving me away. If I didn't talk or if I faked a feminine voice, I passed consistently. By March, I went full-time and haven't been sir'd since. I've gotten better with my voice too, and now it's full-time as well. It all happened pretty quickly but I think that January and February where were I shifted into 'male-fail', and actually had a difficult time with deciding to go out as a guy or a girl because it was about as much effort to look like a guy at that point. That was actually probably the worst part, because I hated the inconsistency, and that's probably what drove me to go full-time.

Now, I've only recently started going out with makeup on. Before that, I'd be plain-faced and passed just fine. And passing to me is just getting ma'am'd consistently by everyone and not getting any weird looks. I blend in just fine. I've traveled across the state and been to quite a lot of places, been to various stores shopping for women's clothing, gotten my nails done twice (in a room full of women, actually talking with them), been to the beach, used various women's restrooms, and went to a theme-park with hundreds of people around me. In all these places, I've never had any confrontations, weird looks, never got sir'd, never had any problems. In fact, I've even gotten some compliments. Astounds me every time that I pass in all these instances.. Heh, and at the theme-park, I went on rollercoasters and saw my pic afterwards. Still passed! xD I was actually quite surprised that I still looked female even making a weird face and fighting g-forces. What I noticed was that my face looked rounded, and appropriately fatty. My makeup was subtle so couldn't really be seen in those pics, so I'd say it was all just the shape of my face and maybe some undefinable quality. Part of this I'm sure is due to HRT, and part of it is probably genetics and luck. But yes, I do pass fine without makeup and probably in guy clothes as well. And if I held my hand over my crotch, I could probably pass nakey too. xD

I have wondered about all this though. I think people pick up on different things, and hopefully you have enough of those things to consistently pass. Body, face, makeup, purse, hair, clothes, walk, talk, gestures and other body language, scent?, attitude, confidence.. there are a lot of things one can pick up on, and go by to gender someone. Really, I sometimes feel I get gendered as female because of simple things, like carrying a purse. As long as you don't go out of your way to seem masculine, I think obviously feminine things like that are enough to pass with. Of course, I could be wrong. Please don't go testing my theory if you aren't confident.

Interesting point in bold above. At that juncture, would you say you where having any problems with identifying yourself? Say when banking?

Quote from: Megan Joanne on June 25, 2014, 08:40:45 AM
1. If you are passing, are you passing with just your face alone (and no makeup)?

I work in retail, stocking shelves during the day, so I'm out there for all to see. When people come up to me asking where something is or if we have such and such item, I don't ever get any questioning looks to make me feel anything other than female. Even with that damn adam's apple they look me in the face and refer to me with ma'am or such respectable female pronouns. Haven't gotten a sir in ages, thank goodness (if I got one now I'd freak because I'm so sensitive a the moment). I spent several years wearing no make-up at all back in North Carolina, and aside from those that knew I was trans I rarely got any questioning stares that'd make me feel someone thought differently of my femininity, that I was a woman and not simply a feminine man. Now I wear a little bit of make-up, lipstick/lipgloss and mascara, and rarely eyeliner, that's it. But I think all that does is pretty me up more with a touch of color since otherwise my face is very bland without. While at the moment some days I feel and see a not so female face (body and everything else), like looking at a man with softer features, others don't seem to see what I sometimes do when feeling down and critical with myself.

As for my mannerism, voice, choice of clothing (though this probably wouldn't make a difference), the whole package, I feel total secure and comfortable with my passing. Just another cis-girl (seemingly) walking her dog, out shopping with her mom, or working hard like so many others. It don't matter what angle I'm seen at, front, side, behind, I don't get the wrong pronouns or strange looks anymore.

2. How many months into HRT would you say this began to happen?

Hard to recall, I never did keep any records or accounts of what happened during early transition. Less than year seems right though, being about the time I started working at a floral shop early 2002 (I started HRT in the spring 2001) and it was family owned, I was already passing most of the time, they never treated me anything other than female, if only they knew otherwise I'd probably been fired, especially with how much the owner flirted with me each day. By the next year at a video rental place I started getting asked out a lot, I turned them all down of coarse, though some were quite persistent. Always ever they would try to get me to smile, and of coarse I did, yeah, they shy girl pretending to take no interest, liked the attention despite playing impossible to get.

Megan you are one of the rising stars in this place. Actually you're in the susans constellation with a few others already. I've seen your pushups video. Total pass. Flying colors. Thanks for chiming in.

^ Of coarse I pass.   

But its nice to hear it from you. 

Cute. 

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 25, 2014, 09:02:35 PM
Interesting point in bold above. At that juncture, would you say you where having any problems with identifying yourself? Say when banking?

I do my banking online. xD But I've been carded quite a few times and had no problems. In fact just last week I was at a restaurant and when ordering I was asked 'What would you like ma'am?' and moments later I got carded by another person when ordering a beer. They looked at my ID, looked at me, looked back at the ID and told me how much it cost, lol. I usually get no reactions even though I got my ID last year.

Worst time I had during my male-fail period though was this one time getting my pills from the pharmacy. I had to sit and wait, and when they were ready the lady spoke a bit loud to get my attention and said 'Sir, your prescriptions are ready!'... It took me a moment to realize she was referring to me, because I thought I passed well enough. I think what really got my attention was the confused looks from others in line who apparently thought I passed too. >_< I realized it was my voice that gave me away. But still, no real identity problems, just some mis-gendering.

Whether you pass or not is very much qualititative.  It is hard, I think, to reduce it down to a checklist.

Face is a biggie though, for sure.

My face was always very feminine, except 2 years or so before I got on hormones it stated to get a little angular.   I feel like I caught it in time tho lol, cause it returned to how it was in my early 20s after like a month on hormones or so.  It did keep changing however, for years, and I feel I look so so different now than back then.  I would say my face kinda stopped slinking more feminine about 3 years in, fyi.   And I would put off ffs until 3 years into hrt for that reason, except in very urgent scenarios.

I think I am passable without makeup, but I'm blonde, so no mascara is not a grand idea for me in general.  And yeah I doubt I would pass if my face didn't look like it does, but I try to have more going for me than just that.

Quote from: Evelyn K on June 25, 2014, 09:02:35 PM
Interesting point in bold above. At that juncture, would you say you where having any problems with identifying yourself? Say when banking?

No issues so far when I have to use my ID or medical insurance card. Still, some confused looks I get are really interesting. Especially last Thursday when I wanted to pick up a parcel at a post office. First the clerk took my ID without even taking a look at me and talked to me like to a man (Czech language has complex grammar for masculine/feminine/neutral forms of words so it's really easy to tell how am I gendered even if not called sir/madam). Then he looked at me and with a shaken look immediately corrected himself.

And should there be a problem then for that I got a paper from my therapist which says something like this: "Patient is a person with changed gender identity, feels, acts and behaves like a woman. It is recommended to respect it." Signed and stamped on an official paper. So far I didn't have to use it.

EDIT: Also when you yourself talk in Czech you immediately say how you identify yourself. It is possible to avoid but it requires complex construction of sentences which sounds unnatural. Although I did just that from the start sometimes.

For me, and I think all cis women is persona. I am therefore I pass. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

1. If you are passing, are you passing with just your face alone (and no makeup)?

Yess I can

2. How many months into HRT would you say this began to happen

This started after about month 2, but now that I'm on month 4 no one questions anything. (I know I'm SUPER lucky...)

Most of you girls know my story so I won't repeat my other posts here. I can answer the question effectively though. Because I'm intersexed I've always had a feminine body shape and delicate feminine features also very feminine manurisms. 5 years ago even long before hrt I could no longer pass for male. Total male fail no matter what I wore, or how baggy it was. I once went into Wal-Mart wearing a flannel shirt and very baggy pants in an effort to hide my shape however: -Mam you forgot your bag, Mam here's your change, Ms., do you want cash back?, Ms., here's your coupon, etc., etc. At the time I know I wasn't passing because of a feminine face. I believe, and others have told me this as well, it was my size and the general tinyness of my features and the smallness of my face and head that gave me the ability to pass. So I believe what I read on page one where Dahlia talked about the size of one's head/face and overall proportions that have a lot to do with passing. I have very long legs for my height, long arms too, a short torso, and very small features with the exception of my nose which I considered a honker until recently. Many other people told me I was being overcritical of myself. But I've seen girls on this site that are literal knockouts with some of the prettiest faces who aren't even on hrt. Compared to them, my face in the beginning made me look like an old hag. Now after 5 months, 4 weeks, and one day on hrt my face has feminized considerably compared to what it once was. I've also gotten my hair back which has also thickened, my nose has shrank considerably, my cheeks have filled in, and my chin has narrowed also the overall size of my face has shrunk even smaller. So now I don't even think about whether I pass or not. I pass easily despite my atrocious horrible scratchy voice. But, I still can't hold a candle to those same girls with very beautiful faces I mentioned before who are not even on hrt.

Best wishes everyone!

And Megan I agree, you are a very beautiful woman. I've watched your video's and everything about you screams femininity!

Ally

Even though reaping the benefits of an increasing 'physical' change towards feminine is important, I have an independant view about passing.  As far as I am concerned I like to keep my self image within my own sphere of influence.  What this means for me is that if I concern myself too much with how 'others' place me on the scale of femininity then I am placing my self image in their hands.  Once this happens, each time I see a disparity between their reaction and my self image it causes a negative image feedback loop resulting in unpleasant feelings.  With that said I will be the first to say that I am not passable 'in the grand scheme of things' BUT at least I am the one who remains in control of how I feel.  I have chosen to remain in my own area so this means I consistantly run into people whom I have known for many years, now even though I dont wear say a dress in this area (why push it until the time is right) I do wear makeup including lipstick, womens jeans etc.  The response I get has to be overshadowed by my willingness to be who I am.  I do not mean to imply that this is just some easy thing to do for me, it has meant a hard inward look and coming to the conclusion that my own peace of mind starts in my own mind.  This is not so much a response to this exact thread, its just something I have thought about upon reading the concerns about passing over a length of time, and is only an expectation for myself.