Said no one ever, apart from one old highschool friend, we were incredibly close and apparently she picked up on it six years ago.

Story wise, I guess I'll just babble on for a bit. I never felt at ease or comfortable in my own body, never been able to really put the feeling into words. I don't really think I'm a typical case but what do I know, for the longest time I didn't even think I was trans because I didn't fit the stereotype, but then again I don't think I fit any stereotype. Over the past couple months I've come out to close friends and my mother, nearly everyone has been supportive, understanding and happy for me. I'm becoming more and more comfortable with myself, even though I'm yet to have my psych assessments. I don't think I've ever felt more relieved and happy as when I left the clinic after my first appointment. The weight off my shoulders is probably the best feeling. It's not all fun and games, my partner of four years left me, pretty much within the hour of me telling him, this was then followed up with a week of emotional abuse and guilt laden arguments. I've had a few comments and harassing words from one or two people as well. Despite losing the person I loved and all the "wonderful" things that float around in my head some times I still can't remember a time I felt better about myself and in no way shape or form has any of the negativity discouraged me.

I guess a little bit about me, I'm 22, studying full time and managing to squeeze in work too. I guess I'm not a typical girl, I play guitar, love woodturning and woodwork, I do blacksmithing and steel fabrication and love building things. I'm pretty much pre everything, I set up appointments and planned everything out months ago when I finally decided to go for what will make me finally feel happy living in my own body, now it's just, wait for things to fall into place.

I joined just to get support, read as much as I can and ask questions when things seem bleak and unsurpassable.

To be honest I really have no idea what to say, I just kinda, blurted things out, I have a couple trans friends but I don't get to talk to them much, it does get a bit "i don't have anyone to talk to about this" sometimes. Probably my biggest fear is rejection by other transgirls, no idea where that comes from but I think it's just got to do with feeling intimidated and insecure.

Welcome Sam . And have no worries - there are no "real" stereotypes when it comes down to transcommunity cause each person is different and special in her/his own way. As for having "unorthodox" hobbies - we have plenty of folks here who are not all into cooking/sewing/gardening stuff - enough to create a whole bunch of non-stereotypical stereotypes .

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on June 27, 2014, 07:48:03 AM
Welcome Sam . And have no worries - there are no "real" stereotypes when it comes down to transcommunity cause each person is different and special in her/his own way. As for having "unorthodox" hobbies - we have plenty of folks here who are not all into cooking/sewing/gardening stuff - enough to create a whole bunch of non-stereotypical stereotypes .

heh, yeh I figured as much, I've always just done what I like with little care of what anyone thinks of it. But, I can't help irrational thoughts roll around in my head sometimes. It's always nice to be reassured of what you're so certain is real. thanks

Welcome to Susan's Samantha Support? Yep, this is the place. Like Emily said, we are an eclectic bunch, you will find a lot of interesting folks here and some provocative ideas being bandied about. I have found this to be a wonderful community, happy I stumbled upon it (thanks Susan). BTW, I have seen a few guitar threads here too.

A big warm welcome to the family Samantha! You will not find rejection by anyone here transgirls, transguys, androgyne, gender fluid, etc. We are a family here and now you are a part of it as well. It will not take you very long to see I speak the truth on this. You can relax while you are here because this is a safe place full of compassion, caring and genuine concern. As in all families there are moments of drama and the occasional squabble, but we come together when someone is in trouble and that is all that matters. 

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Hello Samantha..  I play(ed) too, both 6 and 12 string (was inspired by John Denver, yeah, I'm -that- kind of player), but I haven't picked them up in a while.. 'think if I do, all the memories will come back of a sadder period and I'd just start sobbing over it..  (sorry)

(big cleansing breath) anyway, welcome to the family, like the girls said, pretty much isn't anything we haven't either heard, or lived thru ourselves.   As for hobbies.. I might have one no one has done yet.. building talking skulls props or a pirate ship for Halloween?  (uh, you can PM me for details)       (tho Sam, you might have to wait for .. 15 posts I think)

So are all of us MTFs guitar players and luthiers/woodworkers?  I'm beginning to think so.

Welcome aboard!  ARRRRR...  LOL

Jill, you don't know the half of it   P-)



<--- pirating wench

thanks for all the kind words and warm welcomes, I've been reading threads here for a few months and generally find answers to questions without needing to make more threads.

I'm having a week away with friends in a remote area in the next few days and I've got a couple girlfriends going with us who want to help me along my way which is loverly.

Still having those wonderful stomach turning feelings about the idea of going clothes shopping. I'm thinking of going out at night and picking up at least one or two outfits for my trip so I can have a week away from where I live and have feel a bit more free, I was never shy about things when I lived as a gay man, but, the anxiety seems to sting with certain things.

QuoteHello Samantha..  I play(ed) too, both 6 and 12 string (was inspired by John Denver, yeah, I'm -that- kind of player), but I haven't picked them up in a while.. 'think if I do, all the memories will come back of a sadder period and I'd just start sobbing over it..  (sorry)

(big cleansing breath) anyway, welcome to the family, like the girls said, pretty much isn't anything we haven't either heard, or lived thru ourselves.   As for hobbies.. I might have one no one has done yet.. building talking skulls props or a pirate ship for Halloween?  (uh, you can PM me for details)       (tho Sam, you might have to wait for .. 15 posts I think)

I know where you're coming from, I pretty much exclusively play the blues, I dabble in rock and metal when playing with friends. Think gibbons, willie johnson, jeff beck, SRV etc
As for my gear, I had a large collection, sold allot of it but still have 17 guitars surrounding me and three amps along with all the effects and other gear.

Quote from: Samantha6string on June 28, 2014, 02:15:27 AM
I know where you're coming from, I pretty much exclusively play the blues, I dabble in rock and metal when playing with friends. Think gibbons, willie johnson, jeff beck, SRV etc
As for my gear, I had a large collection, sold allot of it but still have 17 guitars surrounding me and three amps along with all the effects and other gear.

Yay, I love me some Jeff Beck and SRV!   I have a huge collection of guitars and amps as well.  I mostly collect old Stratocasters.  I play mostly hard rock, metal, classic rock and bluesy stuff myself.  I have a particular affinity for Jimi Hendrix, Beck, Clapton, Blackmore and anyone else who ever plugged a Strat into a Marshall.

Anyway, lots and lots of guitar players here, and we love to talk shop.

Quote from: Jill F on June 28, 2014, 02:23:26 AM
Yay, I love me some Jeff Beck and SRV!   I have a huge collection of guitars and amps as well.  I mostly collect old Stratocasters.  I play mostly hard rock, metal, classic rock and bluesy stuff myself.  I have a particular affinity for Jimi Hendrix, Beck, Clapton, Blackmore and anyone else who ever plugged a Strat into a Marshall.

Anyway, lots and lots of guitar players here, and we love to talk shop.

oh awesome! what's your fav strat you've had/played?
I used to have a '59 with a slab board as dark as ebony, fiesta red in near mint condition. Had to sell it years ago due to bills, now the #1 strat is pretty much a partscaster. 54 specs-ish, tweaked and refined over years till it's where it is today, still need to replace the block for a callaham block.

My father was a muso, had an original '55 I believe, sold it for an LP that turned out to be a dud.

Quote from: Samantha6string on June 28, 2014, 03:36:54 AM
oh awesome! what's your fav strat you've had/played?
I used to have a '59 with a slab board as dark as ebony, fiesta red in near mint condition. Had to sell it years ago due to bills, now the #1 strat is pretty much a partscaster. 54 specs-ish, tweaked and refined over years till it's where it is today, still need to replace the block for a callaham block.

My father was a muso, had an original '55 I believe, sold it for an LP that turned out to be a dud.

Quote from: Samantha6string on June 28, 2014, 03:36:54 AM
oh awesome! what's your fav strat you've had/played?
I used to have a '59 with a slab board as dark as ebony, fiesta red in near mint condition. Had to sell it years ago due to bills, now the #1 strat is pretty much a partscaster. 54 specs-ish, tweaked and refined over years till it's where it is today, still need to replace the block for a callaham block.

My father was a muso, had an original '55 I believe, sold it for an LP that turned out to be a dud.

Played?  Oh, crap!  or just fingerf***ed? OMG!   You wouldn't believe it.  I used to be a guitar tech for some pretty high profile players and shops.

Just Strats? Hendrix-Zappa, Check.  Hendrix, Yes. SRV, Check.  Eric Johnson, yup.  Beck's Esquire from The Yardbirds days.  Now in RnRHOF...  Anyway, I've been handed some of the most famous axes ever at one point or another.

I have owned some pretty epic Strats and Bastardcasters as well.   Had a '57 neck on a much later body years and years ago,  a Mary Kaye Frankenstrat with a '61 neck and '57 body, a '63 that was refinished badly, and currently a '65 factory bound special order neck (jumbo!) on an early '54 body (one of the first 50 or so, made on Leo's smaller pin router) with almost all Pre-CBS parts except for the pickups which Seymour Duncan made.  That's my fave.  I also have a bunch of '79/81s in those fun International colors, a first year Beck, a first year Clapton, and a first year Strat Plus in pink.  I just counted 25 guitars and basses in all.  My fave bass is a '64 P.  So yes, I'm a guitar nut to say the least.  My fave amps are a '69 Marshall 100W like Jimi's, an '87 Jubilee 50/25 and a 50W Hiwatt.  Too bad my carpal tunnel decided for me that I'm not going to be playing at a semi-professional level any more.  I have a few other surgeries in mind that are umm, taking top priority now.

Rock and roll! \m/
Jill

Quote from: Jill F on June 28, 2014, 07:17:34 AM
Played?  Oh, crap!  or just fingerf***ed? OMG!   You wouldn't believe it.  I used to be a guitar tech for some pretty high profile players and shops.

Just Strats? Hendrix-Zappa, Check.  Hendrix, Yes. SRV, Check.  Eric Johnson, yup.  Beck's Esquire from The Yardbirds days.  Now in RnRHOF...  Anyway, I've been handed some of the most famous axes ever at one point or another.

I have owned some pretty epic Strats and Bastardcasters as well.   Had a '57 neck on a much later body years and years ago,  a Mary Kaye Frankenstrat with a '61 neck and '57 body, a '63 that was refinished badly, and currently a '65 factory bound special order neck (jumbo!) on an early '54 body (one of the first 50 or so, made on Leo's smaller pin router) with almost all Pre-CBS parts except for the pickups which Seymour Duncan made.  That's my fave.  I also have a bunch of '79/81s in those fun International colors, a first year Beck, a first year Clapton, and a first year Strat Plus in pink.  I just counted 25 guitars and basses in all.  My fave bass is a '64 P.  So yes, I'm a guitar nut to say the least.  My fave amps are a '69 Marshall 100W like Jimi's, an '87 Jubilee 50/25 and a 50W Hiwatt.  Too bad my carpal tunnel decided for me that I'm not going to be playing at a semi-professional level any more.  I have a few other surgeries in mind that are umm, taking top priority now.

Rock and roll! \m/
Jill

Absolutely awesome! So jealous off all the awesome gear. It's rare to see that kind of stuff here, well, it does pop up, far and few between though and always at a price far higher than even the conversion rate justifies. My father got me into guitars and his whole scene when I was pretty young. He's been in a few bands since he was little, I still have a vinyl of a single one of his first bands recorded. He was a tour manager for allot of his early life too, loved hearing stories of all the bands and artists he worked with, I have a list of them all on a plaque in my closet along with one or two other little pieces of memorabilia he left me, couple notable names; AC/DC, E.L.O, the doobie brothers, ray charles, sherbert, jimmy page, ike and tina turner, guns and roses, the kinks, the turtles, YES, joe cocker, pointer sisters, billy thorpe, there's a heap more I won't make you read through haha. He was going to write a book about everything but he passed before he started.

I love tinkering, my father had his tech start teaching me when I was 15. pretty much everything I own I've gutted and rebuilt to my liking. I get really excited when I pick up something new, usually only gets a couple hours playing till it ends up on my work bench.

Quote from: Samantha6string on June 28, 2014, 07:44:20 AM
Absolutely awesome! So jealous off all the awesome gear. It's rare to see that kind of stuff here, well, it does pop up, far and few between though and always at a price far higher than even the conversion rate justifies. My father got me into guitars and his whole scene when I was pretty young. He's been in a few bands since he was little, I still have a vinyl of a single one of his first bands recorded. He was a tour manager for allot of his early life too, loved hearing stories of all the bands and artists he worked with, I have a list of them all on a plaque in my closet along with one or two other little pieces of memorabilia he left me, couple notable names; AC/DC, E.L.O, the doobie brothers, ray charles, sherbert, jimmy page, ike and tina turner, guns and roses, the kinks, the turtles, YES, joe cocker, pointer sisters, billy thorpe, there's a heap more I won't make you read through haha. He was going to write a book about everything but he passed before he started.

I love tinkering, my father had his tech start teaching me when I was 15. pretty much everything I own I've gutted and rebuilt to my liking. I get really excited when I pick up something new, usually only gets a couple hours playing till it ends up on my work bench.

So you work on guitars as well?  OK, so that's like 15 of us here who do that.  It's a very unusual skill set, to say the least.  SO WEIRD!!!  Every time I get a new guitar, It's as good as disassembled in 4-3-2-1.  I did a few fret jobs and truss rod tweaks for summer this week myself.

Billy Thorpe... that's a name I haven't heard in ages.  So I'm guessing you're Australian?  Lots of  Aussies here as well.  So far you sound pretty par for the course around here. LOL .  Anyway I did some tech work for a bass player who worked with Billy who later went on with Shania Twain. And yes, I have lots of war stories from my adventures in rock and roll from the ages of 18-36. 

Anyway, one cool gear thing in Australia is all the cool Japanese stuff that's desirable and hard to find in the USA.   I have a friend from Sydney whose father owned a guitar shop and ended up with a cool collection of Fujigen guitars that were essentially outlawed here. 

Rock on!
Jill

Quote from: Jill F on June 28, 2014, 12:15:05 PM
So you work on guitars as well?  OK, so that's like 15 of us here who do that.  It's a very unusual skill set, to say the least.  SO WEIRD!!!  Every time I get a new guitar, It's as good as disassembled in 4-3-2-1.  I did a few fret jobs and truss rod tweaks for summer this week myself.

Billy Thorpe... that's a name I haven't heard in ages.  So I'm guessing you're Australian?  Lots of  Aussies here as well.  So far you sound pretty par for the course around here. LOL .  Anyway I did some tech work for a bass player who worked with Billy who later went on with Shania Twain. And yes, I have lots of war stories from my adventures in rock and roll from the ages of 18-36. 

Anyway, one cool gear thing in Australia is all the cool Japanese stuff that's desirable and hard to find in the USA.   I have a friend from Sydney whose father owned a guitar shop and ended up with a cool collection of Fujigen guitars that were essentially outlawed here. 

Rock on!
Jill

Haha yeh, I can't help myself, I get an itch to change something, try a different wiring style, switch out a cap value (can't help it, tone tweaker) super meticulous about having nice neat work on everything even things that make zero difference and will never be seen. I'll admit to dissembling a couple pups and taking a fair few winds off the coils, reassembling and repotting them to get the sound I'm after.

Thorpie had to be my dads favorite, he used to tell me about having to yell at him on stage to turn his rig down as the rest of the band complained he was always too loud.

Yep, Aussie "sheela" haha, the jap stuff comes around every now and then but it's as abundant as I'd like, hardly see many grecos or tokais or anything floating around and they get snapped up quickly. I've been gassing for a gibby norlin LPC for absolutely forever and would happily settle for a greco but with some asking prices the norlin seems more viable, if they'd show up.

I'm happy with the epi's and fenders that have all been gutted and worked on to get them to a nice playable state. it'd be a shame if I did get my hands on a nice vintage strat or something, I'm a notorious neck scraper. Can't help it, if I decide not to strip a neck I generally won't end up playing the guitar, like the elitist casino, can't bring myself to take a scraper to the neck and as a result it hardly gets any attention.

Hello ladies.  I couldn't help but chime in.  I play a bit of blues and used to play a lot of metal when I lived in West Germany but I fried my ears so gave that up long ago. These days I mostly just break out the harmonica.  My style?  Think Little Walter.

Anyway, sorry for butting in...grin...have a nice evening.

Dani

Quote from: Dani Davis on June 28, 2014, 11:17:06 PM
Hello ladies.  I couldn't help but chime in.  I play a bit of blues and used to play a lot of metal when I lived in West Germany but I fried my ears so gave that up long ago. These days I mostly just break out the harmonica.  My style?  Think Little Walter.

Anyway, sorry for butting in...grin...have a nice evening.

Dani

I picked up a harmonica a few years ago, most fun I've had out of $20 ever!

Yep!  No matter where I go, if I pull out my harmonica and play a tune, people get jazzed and want me to play more.  Better yet, sometimes someone will break out a guitar and now we have a jam.  Great fun.  No other instrument can produce such great sound in so compact of a package.

Quote from: Samantha6string on June 28, 2014, 11:58:38 PM
I picked up a harmonica a few years ago, most fun I've had out of $20 ever!