Quote from: Janae on July 08, 2014, 03:34:22 AM
I do the online thing it has it's up's and downs, but it's easy and convenient.

I'm currently "talking" to a nice guy I met last year online, we're taking things slowly and working towards the future.

BTW why so many sour out looks, there's someone for everyone don't just throw up your hands and give up.

Nothing beats a fail but a good try, Be optimistic.

"I never failed to create the light bulb, I just learned 10,000 ways that didn't work" Thomas A. Edison

My outlook on dating ^^

Never. I ended setting the big trans flag on top of the profile to filter the people that give you hopes but then disappear when you tell. Still nothing online. And I can't afford going our in weekends to bars and whatever alone.

Heck, I even have a Grindr account hoping I could find bi guys there, but... hell, everybody there wants to be the gay friend. And I already have one. I still have all of the profiles open. In one site that has an excess of creeps and ->-bleeped-<-s, it's set to women only.


There was only one guy that was close to have a date with me... But it was not possible to meet, and after that he revealed his true colors. I knew that he was hoping to score (me too), but in the waiting period until the next possible time he turned into a creep doing sex talk all the time.

Quote from: Emily29 on July 08, 2014, 01:56:08 AM
Oh that's amazing, tell us how it went and good luck :3

Ah, it was quite fun. Totally different experience - this was the first time ever I had dated a guy. If we consider this a date - technically, we aggreed to meet during lunchtime and have a cup of coffee. It lasted for 1.5 hours, so probably was not that bad . He mentioned "another time" and we will see if we get there.  I need to read up some online tips and advices again to figure out whose responsibility is to take the next step - it is all a bit confusing, but once I got to open him up, all went nicely and fluently. I expected to do a lot of talking, including asking questions, picking up convo threads, letting him speak about himself, nodding encouragingly, smiling, looking into his eyes etc etc etc.

The way I found him, I posted an ad on trans-related message board and the rest is filtering out jewels out of tons of guys who sent me weird mails (I can post some quite creepy and explicit examples if somebody wishes, but most probably You dont ). We had an email exchange for about a couple of weeks, before I suggested that we meet in person and that gave me enough time to observe how he responds, what are his triggers etc etc etc. Basically, I was encouraging him but also providing opportunities to slip in case he was the creepy type. He did not and responded with dignity and respect. 

I haven't dated in 20 + years. First it was I was so broken up on the split with my fiancee (non trans related). Then it became I had nothing to offer women. Now it is, I have nothing to offer women and the though of performing coitus isn't appealing possibly to the point of being a bit revolting.
I will never be with someone else as a male again. If I should ever be in a position to transition I might possibly be able to go out with someone though my ideas of any type of relationship is damaged and flawed.

I date. People on the site know that. I've had a boyfriend for about four months now but we're not exclusive so I still date. I met his family and they've met mine and his family knows I'm trans and everything. It's nice. We're going over to his parents' in Connecticut this weekend.

Though we're not exclusive so I keep my OkC account and still go out on dates occasionally. Not really looking for another serious relationship but just meeting interesting people. It's New York so we're pretty open here.

I recognize that it's tough and it takes a lot of courage for trans women. I forgot about that since I was undisclosed for so long, but now that I'm out there are more people who can't handle it. But you know what? I've worked hard on my own self-esteem for many years and not caring if people can't deal with it is my reward.

I've really internalized that it's not about me when they can't deal but about them. I'm amazing and they're missing out.

Quote from: mandonlym on July 08, 2014, 09:21:16 AM
I date. People on the site know that. I've had a boyfriend for about four months now but we're not exclusive so I still date. I met his family and they've met mine and his family knows I'm trans and everything. It's nice. We're going over to his parents' in Connecticut this weekend.

Though we're not exclusive so I keep my OkC account and still go out on dates occasionally. Not really looking for another serious relationship but just meeting interesting people. It's New York so we're pretty open here.

I recognize that it's tough and it takes a lot of courage for trans women. I forgot about that since I was undisclosed for so long, but now that I'm out there are more people who can't handle it. But you know what? I've worked hard on my own self-esteem for many years and not caring if people can't deal with it is my reward.

I've really internalized that it's not about me when they can't deal but about them. I'm amazing and they're missing out.

your a very strong woman and I appreciate you wisdom

I have never dated before. There are a lot of boys I am interested in, but I do not want to go out because of my appearance. If a dude was to come on to me, I would not be interested because am not into gay relationships. Sad for me, but I guess that's life. Maybe in a decade or so after I transition it might be a possibility. Although am pretty sure there will be guys who think am a monster and would never date me in a million years. its time like these when I get jealous at all the girls in college who seem to have a special someone in life. However am having a hard time making friends (never had one) or finding that special someone.

hang ups on dating: Appearance - I look like a man - there is nothing sexy about me.
only people I can attract - gay men or straight women. am into neither of them. But a lot of women I TRY TO BEFRIEND ALWAYS THINK I AM AFTER THERE PRIVATE PARTS.

I do not care if a gay man or woman likes how I look. I think otherwise.

The only "dates" I have been on in the last decade or more have been with straight women.  This is pushing pretty hard on the guy side of my personality that I am not at all sure what I want to do with.  The girl side of my personality does not particularly care for having to "vanish" to do this.  So dating is not all that much fun.

I am sort of caught in the middle ground here as I don't really make it as male for dating, or as female either.  The real person I would look for is a woman that would accept my female side.  I know - lots of luck...


Erin

I think for me just getting out in public where ever and talking to people and sitting in coffee houses meeting people helps quite a lot. Eventually you bump into some one. I'm just in the in between stage where I'm not sure how cis girls view me sexually with the changes getting noticeable and I like men sexually quite a lot ,but I have no intention of gay sex, been there done that not my thing. I know a couple of waitresses from a restaurant  I go to all the time see my changes , my breasts are quite noticeable . they are both pretty and one is a knock out. A long ways back I would of had no problem hitting on her , but now with the changes going on I'm not quite sure what they think. It's all right though I'm a happy camper just being able to transition.

Hell, I wouldn't want to date myself in my current position.  Both financially and physically.  Romantically, yes...that's always there and I long for the day I feel comfortable enough with myself to start dating.  But, if by some miracle somebody comes my way and things are seemingly good, how could I turn that down?   

My heart goes out to so many of you. I was hesitant to post this at first, but for the sake of those considering transition, I decided that I would because I wanted to neutralize the impression that doing so means the end of dating.  The luck I've had dating has been relatively great. I've gone out with 8 (or 9) different men over the past year that I met on a dating website. (No, I don't post that I'm trans. Yes, I do inform men of this fact before we date. Oh, and I'm pre-op). One of them I continue to date regularly, but we're not exclusive.And I'm not sure of my chances of meeting a long-term exclusive companion, but I have few complaints on the whole.

Best wishes to you all.

As often as possible.

Quote from: Jane's Sweet Refrain on July 08, 2014, 11:51:14 AM
My heart goes out to so many of you. I was hesitant to post this at first, but for the sake of those considering transition, I decided that I would because I wanted to neutralize the impression that doing so means the end of dating.  The luck I've had dating has been relatively great. I've gone out with 8 (or 9) different men over the past year that I met on a dating website. (No, I don't post that I'm trans. And I'm pre-op). One of them I continue to date regularly, but we're not exclusive.And I'm not sure of my chances of meeting a long-term exclusive companion, but I have few complaints on the whole.

Best wishes to you all.

Well, in my case, I didn't date even before I transitioned. I just wasn't interested. I would have the very rare instance where a woman would hit on me at a bar and I would basically blow them off. I just didn't care, since I was there to get drunk and not pick up a date. The weird thing was, though, that I got hit on by guys more than I did women back then. But I would usually just scam them for a free drink and make myself scarce.  I don't get into men, anyway. But, hey, if they wanted to buy me a drink back then, I would take it.

I didn't date in the past because of the inner confusion. I don't date at the moment and don't plan to start dating until SRS is done and all is healed up as I view my parts as a too much of an obstacle. One of my colleagues (who's changing girlfriends on a bi-month basis BTW) tried to encourage me by saying that just getting to know someone isn't really dating.

Also given my mentality it will most likely be that a man will try to make a contact with me. A few tried already but so far I didn't have a problem rejecting them. But I worry that I might turn down a person who might actually be worth it only because of my view of my parts being a blocker.

Currently I'm not thinking about how the "trans" prefix will affect future dating as I won't be physically ready until like spring 2016. So in my view there's no point in thinking about that right now. I'll see later on.

I've never dated in my life. Never really interested me as such, because it has always seemed like a very artificial and forced way to form relationships.

Of course, I've identified as asexual before hormones woke up my small inner lesbian, so who knows what's going to happen in the future. At the moment, there is a small part of me wanting to couple with someone to some extent, but I don't really think dating is my thing.

Of course one would have to define what dating exactly is, I've met several people to chat and get to know them better, but I've felt that that's fundamentally different, because I've went into all situations friendship first and if something other were to follow, then so be it.

I don't know if that'll change since at the moment I'm deliberately not very active. This whole thing is completely new at this point in my transition and I don't even know what kind of a "relationship" I'd be into. Probably not your usual thing since I'm not very suitable for that, or at least I don't think so. Also the fact that I'm kinky throws a bit of a wrench in the machinery. I'm just waiting to see where this'll take me.

I have dated 3 people this year so far, I'm on my 4th one now.

Hopefully she is a keeper cause I like her! My ex boyfriend treated me like crap... :/

There are 5 people bysides the girl I'm dating now that are trying to get with me..ughh

And last year there were a few chasing me and they all turned out to be underage.
Freakin hate it when that happens!

At least my girl now is 38 so am all good, the young people tend to be really crappy in relationships. Am done with that!

Btw: I don't want many people being interested in me, I couldn't care less about numbers. What I want is someone intelligent who will treat ne right and love me and respect me and be there for me. I would gladly trade all the chsers for one person like that. Am tired of being hurt and used like a toy.

My girl now seems nice so far but not getting my hopes up

Quote from: Blue Senpai on July 07, 2014, 08:25:36 PM
2. Apparently being only 5'5 is a big deal.

Yes, there is nothing worse than being short, at least for us fellow Gen Yers, for a guy. Though, I'm 5'5 and I have had a pretty good success rate with women and so so with men, though I've now slept with more men than women. I had a low libido and parts that don't work so well (they work even less now) and this also led to problems. But, for all the FTMs out there who are short like me, it's not the end of the world.

The big problem for me was finding shoes and pants. That was prolly harder than getting a woman. I usually turned women down or just became friends with them, since I'm more into men. The one thing about men though is a lot of gay men like masculine men, even if you're a a bottom, twink, power bottom or whatever. So it was very hard for me to date a gay men. Women liked me cause I'm cute or "too pretty." I don't why you'd like someone who is too pretty and soft, and I know what they meant, but we're strange creatures.

For me, now, I have a BF or whatever the hell he is, and I've slept with prolly five or six guys since startinbg hormones, I really put myself out there though and look cute or exotic or something. Not pretty though. Especially with me face all mashed up from a recent fight. Though, could be the camera...jeez i ramble,. sorry.

But dating , fashion and makeup are some of me fave things to talk about...oh and movies and im total book slut so having diverse interests helps in the dating scene. mainly you just have to be nice but the good nice. A lot og guys think just cause they're nice they have a right to sleep with a woman which is total ->-bleeped-<-. The worst is when they say you were drunk and I didn't take advantage. Oh here's a cookie thanks for not raping me in my sleep...like my BF is super nice, it's even his philosophy, but the good nice. He's not a pushover but he lets people think he is..he's a strange one.

EDIT: I have basically been dating and attached to the hip  of my BF since three months into transition, which was about 15 days after I started getting she'd.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 08, 2014, 05:26:59 PM
Yes, there is nothing worse than being short, at least for us fellow Gen Yers, for a guy. Though, I'm 5'5 and I have had a pretty good success rate with women and so so with men, though I've now slept with more men than women. I had a low libido and parts that don't work so well (they work even less now) and this also led to problems. But, for all the FTMs out there who are short like me, it's not the end of the world.

The big problem for me was finding shoes and pants. That was prolly harder than getting a woman. I usually turned women down or just became friends with them, since I'm more into men. The one thing about men though is a lot of gay men like masculine men, even if you're a a bottom, twink, power bottom or whatever. So it was very hard for me to date a gay men. Women liked me cause I'm cute or "too pretty." I don't why you'd like someone who is too pretty and soft, and I know what they meant, but we're strange creatures.

For me, now, I have a BF or whatever the hell he is, and I've slept with prolly five or six guys since startinbg hormones, I really put myself out there though and look cute or exotic or something. Not pretty though. Especially with me face all mashed up from a recent fight. Though, could be the camera...jeez i ramble,. sorry.

But dating , fashion and makeup are some of me fave things to talk about...oh and movies and im total book slut so having diverse interests helps in the dating scene. mainly you just have to be nice but the good nice. A lot og guys think just cause they're nice they have a right to sleep with a woman which is total ->-bleeped-<-. The worst is when they say you were drunk and I didn't take advantage. Oh here's a cookie thanks for not raping me in my sleep...like my BF is super nice, it's even his philosophy, but the good nice. He's not a pushover but he lets people think he is..he's a strange one.

EDIT: I have basically been dating and attached to the hip  of my BF since three months into transition, which was about 15 days after I started getting she'd.

Ahhh I see. Thanks for your vote of confidence, it's hard being on the short end of the stick.

I don't mind being short. (5' 5" and a half) Yeah, it has its shortcomings, but oh well.

I've told myself that I will not date until I've finished transitioning and have all the... ahem... parts I want.

I do worry about not meeting a girl that loves me for me, and that I'll be alone but the way I see it is as long as I have friends around that love me, I'll never truly be alone