There is no "right way" to be trans. When i first started seeing a therapist about how I felt about my gender, I was still confused as to whether or not I was female or male and at the time I had myself believing that I enjoyed being sometimes male and sometimes female. Until one day, i was in my female mind and i realized that going back to my male mind was painful, so much so that it made me cry every time I had to spend time in male mode... it made me angry, depressed, confused, hateful, every time. It wasn't until this moment that i realized I don't like being male and was only making myself believe it because i wasn't ready to accept being female... Then came the reflection on my past, to which later proved to me that I should have always been female and it brought to light a lot of things that I had buried deep down inside and forgotten about.
Alternatively; before when I first started dressing up in private, i found myself sexy and would get turned on by the idea of being treated sexually as a woman, and this also made me fear that my gender issues were merely fetishized views of femininity, but then i realized that being scared about not being trans was an obvious cue that I was trans lol. I don't wanna say that I wanted to be trans, but i wanted to be sure that i wanted to be a woman and that it wasn't all in my head ~ all my life I had dealt with constant self-doubt and it kept me from being sure of anything... So i decided to go on with my transition and honestly..... just look at the quote in my signature LOL.
Some people know from childhood that they are in the wrong body, others don't find out until later, some start as cross dressers who later realize that being a woman feels right and being a man doesn't, others come out of nowhere and go from being totally masculine men who you would've never guessed were trans, and become the women they've always felt they were
in the end, if you feel that transitioning would be right for you, then it is
A good indication (for me at least) was this notion: I did away with all my thoughts of "my life would be easier in THIS aspect if I were female", and started asking myself "do I want to be a woman for the rest of my life?"
After a bit of time of asking myself that question, I then realized the answer was that I didn't 'want' to be a woman, I 'need' to be a woman, because its the only thing that made a shred of sense in my 23 years of mental confusion, depression, self-doubt, self-loathing and uncertainty. Simply from the MOMENT I embraced my female identity and put away the shame and guilt, I immediately felt a worldly weight fall off my shoulders.. just from accepting myself I had gotten rid of at least 50% of the weight i had carried my entire life as male.
This was just my experience, everyone's experience is different. I use to feel that I wasn't 'trans enough' because i didnt feel exactly female at a young age, or because i started late or because I didn't have any genital dysphoria (and still don't for the most part, though I still want it gone
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Just consider this ~ does the possibility of you not truly being a woman scare you? Because if it does, i think thats a pretty clear indication that you are trans lol. If its any consolation - I think about sex all the time lol and its so much nicer now as a girl than it ever was as a guy (just to think about)... and hopefully this isnt TMI but, I can actually think about sex without worrying about an uninvited guest showing up to the party >____< and that is just AWESOME.
