Quote from: Oriah on July 09, 2014, 11:54:45 PM
It's not always about sex.  Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment. 

It doesn't make sense to me.....in this culture low self esteem is considered to be a terrible epidemic faced by millions of women, but then simple compliments are treated like dangerous sexual advances.  When women start treating all men as creeps or potential rapists, a lot of innocent, well meaning men get truly crushed.  Big secret girls: men are just as insecure and emotionally fragile as women.

So anytime a random men calls me pretty and tell me to smile I should thank him and immediately change MY emotional state and thus being on more flirting and then lead them on rather than saying noting or just a simple "not felling well. sorry." Then, if you have to wait in that area, well, if you're nice, they take it as a license to continue and usually it's worse. the men who do this are GENERALLY not interested inb  the woman's feelings, but instead, he vag. If you're not nice, then you're an ice queen. What about my emotional state.

And I hardly agree that men are these fragile little beings you paint them to be. they're not. If a woman blows them off and they had the confidence to make a come on, they'll be fine. But in any event, it's not my job to read minds and figure out who gets hurt and who doesn't. Also, a truly nice guy, if he sees a woman in a bad emotional state will not say "smile you're so pretty" but instead "hey, you look upset sweetie is everything alright? If anybody hurt you, i'll hurt them" or even better say a joke. I saw a woman crying the other day and we had a nice little talk about men sucking but how they so hard to get rid of cause you love them and a gave her a big old hug. Men can't do this obviously, cause, well, they're not women. I guess a gay men could but, er, it's different.

And you're not getting it sorry. these aren't simple compliments. In fact, it happened again today and the guy had this huge ->-bleeped-<- eating grin on his face after he told me to smile i'm bringing him down or some crap. Couldn't understand it all cause he didn't stick around. They are a way to invade spaces at a time when the space should not be invaded. I was a t a train station, a crowded one in Philly and reading a schedule. Couldnt I just read a hard to read schedule without beign told to smile? I guess not cause some poor man's feelingmight get hurt. They could just say Hi if they're so interested and then back off if nothing happens. This is what most men do. I've hung out with lots of men and women and have not led a sheltered life, quite the opposite. I love men and like to flirt just not all the time and especially not on puclic transport...unless you're really hor then, yes, plesse please flirt. I love u long time lol

This is not the evil feminists (I guess me lol) taking away men's rights and not accepting "harmless" flirting. Since when is flirting not backed up by an agenda? well boo hoo for men. My one old friend tried picking up lots of women and prolly told some to smile (maybe not prolly had a better approach cause really smile you're pretty is so lame) and he counted it as a numbers game and just kept trying. He never took it personally and said men who did should work on themselves first cause it's not for the faint hearted and it s not a woman's job to be nice and accept every compliment.

isn't this a women's support forum?

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 11, 2014, 09:35:09 PM
Also, I'm not against flirting this or that...just not in everyday life when I'm texting, going about my day and just want to get on the train after a hot, hard day's work. That;s it. I'm also against some of the comments and creepiness that comes when you dont smile. There's nothing worng with flirting. In fact, I like it.

Agreed and thank you.

With regard to smiling, I literally can't. Prolly during my facial reconstruction following my 91 accident some facial muscles on the left side of my mouth just don't co-operate when I try to form a smile. Also, from the same accident I have bad teeth which I'm looking into getting fixed but, that's beside the point. I get asked to smile a lot by both men and women. But I don't get offended but it because they simply don't know about my condition. Instead, I simply try and give my best feminine hand wave with an appreciative nod of acknowledgement, then go on about my business. Of course I don't much care for it if a guy becomes pushy. I do my best in cases such as this to walk away from him.

Though I'm lesbian and am strongly not into men, It doesn't mean I can't be polite to a guy if he finds me attractive or pretty (especially at my age, lol!), and show him respect. Not all men are creeps and sexual perverts. In fact most are just being polite or nice, and going about their day just like I am. I do my best to treat people both men and other women with the same respect they've given me. It's those very few guys that get out of hand, or takes things too far with flirting that offend me. However, I'm not going to let the actions of a misguided few stain the whole of the male population with regard to the amount of respect I give them in public. For to do that would just be wrong.

Ally

Quote from: Joanna Dark on July 11, 2014, 10:04:08 PM
isn't this a women's support forum?

This is a support forum for trans men and trans women, intersex people, non binary people, significant others - etc. That is one reason, but certainly not the only reason why misandry, man hating, etc is not tolerated. It doesn't mean anyone has to be pleasant to (or about) men who harass them but generalised comments about "how disgusting men are", etc just aren't on.

Personally I agree that women are not there for the amusement and gratification of men, and that we don't have to be compliant to their whims.

Quote from: Ms Grace on July 11, 2014, 10:42:28 PM
This is a support forum for trans men and trans women, intersex people, non binary people, significant others - etc. That is one reason, but certainly not the only reason why misandry, man hating, etc is not tolerated. It doesn't mean anyone has to be pleasant to (or about) men who harass them but generalised comments about "how disgusting men are", etc just aren't on.

Personally I agree that women are not there for the amusement and gratification of men, and that we don't have to be compliant to their whims.

I meant this sub-forum. Trans woman = woman. Point blank. Ditto fo da dudes. A blue car is still a car, a broken ax is still an ax, and a trans woman is still a woman. I don't consider myself trans, so I don't like saying it. I consider myself, and so do geneticists, a woman. Yeah, we talk about trans issues, but there are forums and sub-forums for women with Lupus. I bet everyone considers themnselves a women with lupus not a lupus patient who is a woman, as some here do and would be wise for their self-preservation and sanity to do the same. If you count non-HRT years (but being in a lesbian like relationship--I only say like cause I have not had SRS), I've been transitioning a total of five+ years. I'm 32 and if you count my DNA: I've never not been a woman. I was half and half til i was three so I think I have a lot to offer peeps.

BTW, I have been very accommodating and super nice considering not only have I been raped in my life by two men, I've also been the victim of multiple sexually aggressive street harassment incidents (butt and boob grabbing) and was recently nearly killed for people finding out I have a penis who knew nothing for nine months until this evil ¢*nt told peeps and thought it was funny since she got tired of guys liking me and thinking I'm sexy and fun (she's 50 but thinks she's 30). So, sorry if I come across as misandric (though many sociologists argue majority groups and groups in power, in fact, it's rather elementary sociological stuff, can not be victims of oppression by virtue of their status and power) but most men a re great, like i said I love them, but this is a sub-forum for women or I guess trans woman. And in my case: other.

Topic has more than run it's course.

Topic locked.