Okay. So as the days dwindle for my hormones and therapy, I've been getting alot of mixed messages
through my meditation and aimless thinking.
I see very important moments of my life as female.....but
I physically, emotionally and mentally feel better as a male.
I don't know if it's just that part of my mind is accustomed to thinking that way.
Or it's just confusion from the lack of discussing my feelings towards my transitioning.
I'm also nervous about fertility problems, I do want bio-kids, I was thinking that, I should
wait until I do everything I feel comfortable doing as a female, over with first so I can
transition without dealing with that "grass is greener" anxiety.
Any comments? I'm at a lost.

Your body has a memory too and encodes experiences into your nervous system. Memories of my life pre transition are definitely of me in a male body, memories of events since transition have started to become mixed up and are now veering to "female". I doubt my pre transition perceptions of my physical gender will change, as much as I'd like them to.

What do you mean other than having children?  Biological children are nice (if having a piece of your DNA live on through others is important to you) but they aren't the only way you can have kids. 

Quote from: aross1015 on July 18, 2014, 06:43:14 PM
What do you mean other than having children?  Biological children are nice (if having a piece of your DNA live on through others is important to you) but they aren't the only way you can have kids.

I want, to physically have children. I've heard of some FTM's who have gotten pregnant and kept the baby, I follow one on youtube.
I just don't.....know if that would be too confusing for the kid. (I tend to over and beyond think of things)

Quote from: echo_artist on July 18, 2014, 06:54:16 PM
I want, to physically have children. I've heard of some FTM's who have gotten pregnant and kept the baby, I follow one on youtube.
I just don't.....know if that would be too confusing for the kid. (I tend to over and beyond think of things)

If you teach them to be open-minded while young, it will not be too confusing for your future child.

Quote from: echo_artist on July 18, 2014, 06:54:16 PM
I want, to physically have children. I've heard of some FTM's who have gotten pregnant and kept the baby, I follow one on youtube.
I just don't.....know if that would be too confusing for the kid. (I tend to over and beyond think of things)

Even if that was confusing for them in the beginning (if they found out you birthed them when they were very young) they would eventually stop being confused as they grew older and understood more about the subject. 

Truche'. I feel like most of my anxiety is coming from my family and my partner's.
One's judgmental, the other is close-minded. (feel like I'm having a mental break through!)

Quote from: echo_artist on July 18, 2014, 06:54:16 PM
I want, to physically have children. I've heard of some FTM's who have gotten pregnant and kept the baby, I follow one on youtube.
I just don't.....know if that would be too confusing for the kid. (I tend to over and beyond think of things)

No offense but that is confusing and I don't think it makes transmen look so good.

Quote from: Brandon on July 18, 2014, 08:07:22 PM
No offense but that is confusing and I don't think it makes transmen look so good.

Your opinion is unwarranted and considering that you started off with "no offense", you realize that.

My family is disappointed I haven't popped out a baby, they know I would take better care of it than some of these other mom's I see. Thing is if I found the right guy I don't think I would object to having one. Pushing it out would be another story.

Quote from: aross1015 on July 18, 2014, 08:10:13 PM
Your opinion is unwarranted and considering that you started off with "no offense", you realize that.

Well it is confusing, The whole feeling and knowing your a man is to not wanna bare a child in your womb sure alot of bio men and trans men have though about but I think a woman should carry a baby. Know unless you had it before you knew you were trans then that is different or if it was an accident.

Fact is, your opinions about a guy having a kid are not needed on a thread like this.  If the thread had been asking what we thought of trans guys having biological children, then sure, but this is a person thread about one person, so your comment (which didn't pertain to the original post at all) was unnecessary and not helpful to the OP. 

It's not confusing when you think about it at the most basic level, we are all human, most humans have an urge to sow their seed, whether male or female, trans people cannot do this in the traditional way for their target sex, so some choose to go an alternative route.

Quote from: aross1015 on July 18, 2014, 08:19:55 PM
Fact is, your opinions about a guy having a kid are not needed on a thread like this.  If the thread had been asking what we thought of trans guys having biological children, then sure, but this is a person thread about one person, so your comment (which didn't pertain to the original post at all) was unnecessary and not helpful to the OP. 

It's not confusing when you think about it at the most basic level, we are all human, most humans have an urge to sow their seed, whether male or female, trans people cannot do this in the traditional way for their target sex, so some choose to go an alternative route.

A man is not suppose to bare a child, I want kids to probaly more than most people because I'm good with kids, but I don't wanna do it that way plus I am straight anyways., I'd giv a woman my egg and mix my dads sperm less confusing because they know who daddy and mommy is. I'm not trying to be an ass but yes its weird.  Especially for he child growing older and then realizing men aren't suppose to bare kids.

Quote from: Brandon on July 18, 2014, 08:30:56 PM
A man is not suppose to bare a child, I want kids to probaly more than most people because I'm good with kids, but I don't wanna do it that way plus I am straight anyways., I'd giv a woman my egg and mix my dads sperm less confusing because they know who daddy and mommy is. I'm not trying to be an ass but yes its weird.  Especially for he child growing older and then realizing men aren't suppose to bare kids.

From your posts around here, it's obvious you adhere far to strictly to what a man is "supposed" to do and what a woman is "supposed" to do.  You'll be much happier when you loosen up a little and realize that there is one way to be a man, nor is there one way to be a woman.   

You'd have a child created from your egg and your father's sperm?  That would be inbreeding. 

Quote from: echo_artist on July 18, 2014, 06:29:14 PM
Okay. So as the days dwindle for my hormones and therapy, I've been getting alot of mixed messages
through my meditation and aimless thinking.
I see very important moments of my life as female.....but
I physically, emotionally and mentally feel better as a male.
I don't know if it's just that part of my mind is accustomed to thinking that way.
Or it's just confusion from the lack of discussing my feelings towards my transitioning.
I'm also nervous about fertility problems, I do want bio-kids, I was thinking that, I should
wait until I do everything I feel comfortable doing as a female, over with first so I can
transition without dealing with that "grass is greener" anxiety.
Any comments? I'm at a lost.

echo_artist

My comments relate to my experience as a male bodied non binary who has worked extensively with my endo to treat my dysphoria and manage emotional/physical change so as best to meet my objectives.

I found that stopping hrt just didn't work - the dysphoria came back, at least as intensely as I had experienced before commencing hrt.

I found that stepping up, maintaining and stepping down lower dosages of hrt had profound emotional and rate of physical impact.  Recording, discussing and understanding what has been happening has caused the endo to encourage me to continue to flex my therapy under his supervision.

With this approach I have found a sweet spot, which when supported by other feminisation allows me to better express and own my non binary nature.

It would be nice to find a binary outcome which I can live with, but I can't.  My approach takes a bit of care and effort, but it is empowering and has taken me to a much better place.  I feel blessed and hope that this may be of help or at least of interest to you.

Safe travels

Aisla

echo_artist

Your questions are fair, and your concerns are valid.  I do not subscribe to the view that M do this, and F do that, but I do subscribe to the view that this is your life.   Your responsibility is to live your life as authentically, and as powerfully as you can

For many of us, our dysphoria becomes increasingly unmanageable as we age. Many of us have had families and children, and then sought to understand, accept, express and love or embrace ourselves.

You are coming to this issue earlier than most.  I wish you well.  You may choose to de transition, or to continue to a non binary or binary transition.  All of these options are valid. 

I wish you well.

Safe travels

Aisla

Quote from: aross1015 on July 18, 2014, 08:35:41 PM
From your posts around here, it's obvious you adhere far to strictly to what a man is "supposed" to do and what a woman is "supposed" to do.  You'll be much happier when you loosen up a little and realize that there is one way to be a man, nor is there one way to be a woman.   

You'd have a child created from your egg and your father's sperm?  That would be inbreeding.

I'm a christian so no I will not loosen up as I stated a man should not bare a child. And I said I will use my egg and get sperm for my wife. Most people use other peoples sperm related to them duh. And I look like my father. Or either ill end up with a woman who has a baby and father the child. My dad did it with my sister and I never knew that my dad wasn't her real dad until about 9 or 10. And yes there are certain hings a man and woman should do idk wha kind of world you live in but thats just how I was brought up. No I am not trying to start an arguement because its a free country but my oppinion is gonna stay the same.

Christians don't all believe that you aren't a man if you do 'this' or don't do 'that' or that you aren't a woman if you do 'this' or don't do 'that'.   

Trust me, the world will not end if a man has a child.  You may not agree with it or like it, but this poster doesn't need you hating on his possible choices. 

It'd be a lot simpler to use your wife's egg and the sperm of a male you are related to.  Otherwise you have to take a regimen of female hormones to ready your body to produce eggs and then have a surgical procedure for the egg retrieval.   

Nothing wrong with having a child as a trans* man, don't listen to others biased bigotry of social construct of what a man can and can't do . Just be you

Quote from: Skyler Lusk on July 18, 2014, 08:58:13 PM
don't listen to others biased bigotry of social construct of what a man can and can't do . Just be you

If we listened to others about that, we wouldn't be transitioning, or calling ourselves men, seeing as I don't think society would agree that a man can menstruate.