First time I dressed in female clothing was back in 1997 (if it weren't for going to see the Lost World: Jurassic Park 2 that weekend I wouldn't have remembered the year this happened, and that made me 23 I guess) when we got invited to a big family reunion, this in Massachusetts where most of the family came from, I didn't go, had to work, couldn't get the time off, so my mom, brother, sister and her only son (still a baby) at the time went. During my time alone at home, I had me a few days to reflect on the things I had been feeling about myself for many years that in recent years had become so strong that I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, I did some experimenting and some dress-up. I tried on some of my mom's clothes, the ones that fit. There was this very nice dress that I thought I would look pretty in, if only I were a girl. I wore this dress almost the whole time, but taking care not to ruin it or make it so it looked like it had been worn., I also put on a little bit of make-up that I had the guts to actually go out and buy, pretty red lipstick. I was terrified when I went in to pick it out, stopping in at RiteAid on my way home from the mall after getting my ears pieced, and even more so when I brought it up to the counter to pay for it, I'm sure it showed too. Since I knew that I would be alone for several days (the whole weekend), sometimes I would spend all day dressed up in the house, occasionally I'd look at myself and dream, but for the most part I just did what I always did, sat around and watched movies or played video games, but dressed like a woman, I felt wonderful. But after it was all over with and I couldn't be me anymore because family was coming home, I got really depressed because I knew it was time to put myself, the real me, back into hiding (she was put away for a little while, but not long before I'd soon blow up and let it all out, but that's another story). Afterall, how could they accept me like this, I'd be a disgrace, an embarassment, my family would be angry, hurt, disappointed, ashamed, denial (this would be the first reaction), what else, so I went back into my shell.