Best things about being trans is you really learn alot both about yourself, the people around you, and
gender of the world in general. There is so many things I am sure I would never had knew or thought about if I wasn't trans.

But knowing alot of things can also be hard, specially if nobody ells understand what you do.
ignorance is bless, and in my early years I wished I had cancer or something "more typical" which
I felt people could understand and relate to.

times goes and you learn to deal with your problems in better ways and get better tools to explain your points. it not only being trans but alot of other things which can be hard to people to understand, but I feel trans is one of those things which still many have limitied knowlegde about, and even if they do understand the basic theres so many things they wouldn't. it really hard to deal with people, specially loved once, and know they may never understand your life or what your trying to say to them.

The absolute worst part was knowing that I could never have children. That has bothered me my whole life.

The realization that I can never have my own baby,breast feed all my children and complain about any problems dealing with having periods. Never have a child who will tell me , Mom Happy Mother's Day.

loneliness.

Ugliness and loneliness

Quote from: Felix on July 20, 2014, 06:16:24 PM
Shout out to 2007.

This is maybe a daft assertion, but the worst thing about being transsexual for me is being transsexual. I feel better now that I'm not pretending to be a girl, but no matter how good I feel there are people who judge hard, and I'll probably always have occasional despair about not having a "natural" male biology. Just knowing that who I am is unresolvably nonstandard is frustrating.

I agree that the worst thing about being a transsexual is being a transsexual.  I'd give anything to be cis. 

Too many things, really, many of which have already been stated in this thread. But if I had to pick one thing in particular that has been bothering me recently, rather than the absolute worst thing of all, I would have to go with the realisation that there is now a huge chunk of the world that I will not be able to visit for the foreseeable future if I want to stay safe. I love foreign languages, foreign cultures and foreign countries, and being transgender means that a lot of that is now effectively off limits to me, which really upsets me. I used to be really interested in Russian literature and the Russian language, but can't ever visit Russia now because I am literally a criminal there. And when I make friends from places like Indonesia and Malaysia and they invite me to come and visit them, I know that realistically I can't go given the state of LGBT rights in their respective countries. :/

In fact, in terms of world places that I can reasonably visit as a transgender person without too much fear of prejudice, violence, or arrest, you're talking a tiny minority of the world's countries. I guess if I'm 100% passable after FFS I could feasibly just go in stealth, but I don't think I would feel comfortable knowing that if I were outed, it could have far, far more serious repercussions than it already does in my home country.

Quote from: Nala on July 25, 2014, 09:56:46 AM
Too many things, really, many of which have already been stated in this thread. But if I had to pick one thing in particular that has been bothering me recently, rather than the absolute worst thing of all, I would have to go with the realisation that there is now a huge chunk of the world that I will not be able to visit for the foreseeable future if I want to stay safe. I love foreign languages, foreign cultures and foreign countries, and being transgender means that a lot of that is now effectively off limits to me, which really upsets me. I used to be really interested in Russian literature and the Russian language, but can't ever visit Russia now because I am literally a criminal there. And when I make friends from places like Indonesia and Malaysia and they invite me to come and visit them, I know that realistically I can't go given the state of LGBT rights in their respective countries. :/

In fact, in terms of world places that I can reasonably visit as a transgender person without too much fear of prejudice, violence, or arrest, you're talking a tiny minority of the world's countries. I guess if I'm 100% passable after FFS I could feasibly just go in stealth, but I don't think I would feel comfortable knowing that if I were outed, it could have far, far more serious repercussions than it already does in my home country.

Yea... That is pretty awful too.  I've been thinking about that a bit lately... not that I have money or opportunity to travel at this point, but in the future.  Even in the US there are many places I'd rather not go.  I've been considering signing up for this wwoof thing where you go stay free places and work on organic farms to learn things about the process ect., but being trans makes just going and staying on random peoples farms even more dangerous than it sounds in the first place. 

Perhaps after surgery things will be different.  I guess I can always come up for some excuse for the various scars... being trans isn't something anyone really ever seems to expect of an ftm.

The sense that you'll never get a job being this way...

The combination of never being able to achieve sexual release as a biological man would and seeming like I could never find a girl who would accept me for who I am.

Quote from: Jess42 on July 22, 2014, 09:18:47 AM
Get your Time machine ready Felix.

Yeah, it is an old post but seems fitting since we lost Nero and he started it.

I hope it keeps happening so people can see (or see again) his presence here. I hope his account doesn't get deleted, or at least not soon. I understand that kind of thing is up to his family and not us, but it seems enormously helpful that an online persona exists in some form after a person's death so it's not such a sudden blank wall.

Quote from: janetcgtv on July 22, 2014, 04:36:21 PM
The realization that I can never have my own baby,breast feed all my children and complain about any problems dealing with having periods. Never have a child who will tell me , Mom Happy Mother's Day.

Janet I have great respect for your feelings about birth and breastfeeding, but you could someday have kids who call you Mom and celebrate Mother's Day with you. That part isn't hopeless. There are a lot of ways to end up with a person who sees you as a parent, and no matter how we start, our gender is usually the arbiter of whether we are moms or dads.

I already answered the thread title question, but today I'll be more specific and say that the worst thing for me right now is looking young. There are age-related rocks in the road constantly. I don't relate stellarly to people as young as I actually am, so I don't like been seen as an age-peer by college kids or even teenagers sometimes. It gets thorny and occasionally dangerous when people think I'm either dating or friends with my teenaged child. I had a cop once ask what I paid for my driver's license, and I told him $60 or whatever the DMV process costs because I didn't realize he thought it was fake until his followup questions. People coming around with petitions for ballot measures regularly laugh and tell me I'm not old enough to vote when I look up in response to their queries about registered voters. Most of what I don't sign is because I'm uncomfortable about that, not because of my actual political opinions. Almost everything I do in life would be better and more predictable if I looked older.

I still think the worst thing in the bigger picture is the unchangeable fact of it.

i'm gonna throw in another one...like many others loneliness and an empty void that can't ever be fixed..not directly caused by being trans* but a product of life long events. Sigh, its nice to forget.

I hate the paranoia... how even on good days, I'm afraid of being somewhere by myself and passing really well but then, I dunno, someone finds my wallet or I have to pay with my card or something and people find out about me being trans. I'm just terrified that everyone in a room will find out and I won't be able to be the one to tell them and they'll all just start misgendering me and I won't be able to say or do anything (terrible anxiety here... if I think there's even a chance I'll be outed I start stuttering and freeze up and can't speak at all)

Working your butt off trying to be happy with yourself but constantly failing and getting frustrated, confused and depressed.

Also, being called "Sir" every single day.
I naturally cringe whenever I hear it. -_-

Aside from physical dysphoria, two things come most to mind.
1. Paranoia that people will find out and mistreat me. Or, being treated differently when people do know.
2. Pre-transition memories. Even small things like remembering my mother calling me by birth name. There's so much of my life that I don't want to remember or think about.

Spiro tastes like chalk dipped in ass. Weight loss went from almost impossible to laughably impossible.
I lost every "family" member I've ever known, but whatever.

Feeling like I could never measure up to other (cis)people.

I'll throw in a curly one.
The worst thing is dealing with trans*groups, trying to get them to cooperate and deal with the big issues rather than self driven petty fiefdoms.
Why do we as a group that has to work together rip ourselves apart and so fail to help each other.

Quote from: CindyThe worst thing is dealing with trans*groups, trying to get them to cooperate and deal with the big issues rather than self driven petty fiefdoms.
Why do we as a group that has to work together rip ourselves apart and so fail to help each other.

Oh, Lor'. That. I first became involved in LGBT politics 40-some years ago (pretty much right after Stonewall, in fact), and that made it sooo hard to get anything done. It's depressing that nothing has changed, but it's a... human thing, I guess.

If you'll forgive me, Cindy, for attempting to answer a rhetorical question -- I think much of it has to do with feeling powerless in relation to the actual sources of our oppression -- it's easy (and safe!) to puff oneself up and feel "big" by turning on other powerless people.

Knowing that my life would never be how I feel it should be like and do things and having the ability to experience life the way I think it should have been like if I had been born with the body I feel I should really have, perhaps the most importantly the fact that I will never have an actual penis and being able to have children as a biological man. I also wish that I had started my transition sooner so I could have gotten taller and broader shoulders.