I have trouble with this tricky gendered etiquette too and, like Eevee, I tend to hug, which is more North American than the double cheek touch air kiss or the actual kiss. Hand shakes tend to be for first time meetings in a more professional way. New social friends usually get the sweet wave and smile. But I have to say that among family and friends I don't know if there's enough uniformity to make someone seem out of place if she chooses any of these.
On a related note, when it comes to greeting my gf's, I hate that the custom is basically the very high pitched and sliding "Heeeeyyyyyy." Despite having a passing and serviceable voice, I don't have access to that really high register. As I look older, it won't matter so much, but I still have good friends who in the their 30's still practice this greeting.