Could you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Could you make love with a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Why or why not?
And would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

I've only been with cisgendered people, so I can't be sure exactly how I'd feel with a person whose identity and body weren't congruent.   I do feel it would make no difference to me, but never having been with a TS, I can't be sure.

I'm bisexual.  I'm one of those people who "love the person, not the body."  So it's kind of a non-issue to me.

Quote from: Nero on September 15, 2007, 08:21:10 PM
Could you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Could you make love with a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Why or why not?
And would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

Yes, Yes and No. It's the person who I fall in love with, not their physical sex.

Zythyra

Hi Nero,

You didn't say if your post was only directed to other transpeople. I am a GG. I could easily love a transperson; with or without surgery; with or without surgery plans. Of course, it is easy for me since I identify as bisexual (or rather, multi-flexible). So I wouldn't care where on the male-female spectrum someone fell or planned to fall.

I'm not sure.  Would this transperson feel at ease dating a transsexual woman, particularly if she's pre-operative? There are many things to consider and while I may date someone who is a FTM (I'm heterosexual)  his feelings need to be addressed as well.

 
Well, If we were both pre-op, I see no issue since sexual desire would be pretty much non-exsistant for the both of us. If one was post-op or non-op, the love would certainly be there, just as strong as ever but it will take some serious compromises from both people.

Quote from: saraswatidevi on September 15, 2007, 08:32:09 PM
bisexual (or rather, multi-flexible

I like that term.

Hmmmmm... this question has been asked many times here at Susan's, and honestly I am fascinated at the evolution of my answer over the last year.  Just to give you an idea of what I am referring to, here are some of my answers from previous threads:

Quote from: Tinkerbell on August 18, 2006, 11:06:46 PM
I wish I coud say "yes" but I would be lying if I did.  I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but this is how I am and how I feel.  I've thought a lot about this, but my answer remains the same...I would never date a FTM, that's just me, only me, and not a Tinkerbell's law or anything of that sort. 

tinkerbell

And then the evolution begins....

Quote from: Tink on April 06, 2007, 10:33:03 PM
Nevertheless, dating, IMO, does not mean having sex or sleeping with whomever you are going out.  So having said that, sure, I'd date a FTM for the reasons I have stated; however, I am not sure whether I could have anything sexual with that person.  Why?  not because of his genitals, but mainly because I wouldn't know how to please him sexually.  That's the most honest response I can give, I think.  I hope I haven't offended anyone and if I have, I apologize.

tink

and my feelings transform even more....

Quote from: Tink on May 16, 2007, 08:20:23 PM
Hmmmmm another interesting thread indeed.  Well, I am only attracted to men, and I am attracted to the appearance of the male form, body, secondary sex characteristics (i.e, voice, facial hair, muscle tone, demeanor, posture), etc.  I have only been intimate with biological men, so their genitalia and characteristics (listed above) have always gone together.  However, I must say that, in my case, genitals are not important either.  On another thread, I said that I can easily be attracted to female to male transsexuals; it is their masculine appearance (chemically altered by testosterone) that I am attracted to, not their genitalia.  As far as intimacy is concerned, well I think that love making does find its ways, especially if a couple has plenty of imagination, so personally, I don't consider it a problem either.    >

tink

So I guess these posts speak for themselves, don't they?   Genitals are not important to me, but passing as male is.


tink

Prior to transition, I was strictly a straight male, with no attraction to men. Today, after 2 years on hormones and a year living full time, I have had a couple of encounters with men, and have settled into a long-term relationship with another pre-op transsexual.

We both intend to have surgery, and frequently talk about what things will be like after. We thoroughly expect to be together for the rest of our lives (hey, we're old so it's not all that long!), and the only question about surgery is whether one or the other should go first, so we can be an "opposite sexes" couple long enough to get married, or whether we should go ahead and schedule our surgeries at the same time.

Attraction to us is entirely about the person, not the plumbing.

I've not thought about it quite frankly but I think I could. I'm a straight gal who's attracted to what a lad is not what he has.

Quote from: Nero on September 15, 2007, 08:21:10 PM
Could you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasnt had genital surgery?

Maybe.  I dont really know.  I could make an exception if my feelings were strong.

QuoteCould you make love with a transperson who hasnt had genital surgery?
Why or why not?

No.  I am attracted to both the person and the genitals of the person.  My view is that its different to have sex with a biological man who has lost his genitals for a or b reasons.  but having sex with a person with female genitalia is a another thing no matter how male that person looks.

QuoteAnd would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

If he wanted to get genital surgery, I would support him.  If he didnt want to get it, I would end the relationship for the reasons I have already said.

Yes I could and whether or not she planned to have surgery is her decision. If I fell in love with the person, the body parts wouldn't matter. I've never been in the situation, only dated bio girls, but the idea of dating a pre-op transwoman doesn't bother me.

Dennis

Easy awnser. Yes i could

Quote from: Nero on September 15, 2007, 08:21:10 PM
Could you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Could you make love with a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Why or why not?
And would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

I've only been with cisgendered people, so I can't be sure exactly how I'd feel with a person whose identity and body weren't congruent.   I do feel it would make no difference to me, but never having been with a TS, I can't be sure.

yeah no problems for me but it would have to be romantic love and as for sex we would work it out

Absolutely!

Easy answer = YUP! It's the person that matters not their sex or genitals or "status".
Rashelle

Quote from: Pia on September 16, 2007, 08:22:02 AM

QuoteCould you make love with a transperson who hasnt had genital surgery?
Why or why not?

No.  I am attracted to both the person and the genitals of the person.  My view is that its different to have sex with a biological man who has lost his genitals for a or b reasons.  but having sex with a person with female genitalia is a another thing no matter how male that person looks.

Pia, so by your statement above, I gather that if a bio guy thinks of you as anything else but a woman because "you are a person with a penis, no matter how female you look", that would be OK too? How would you feel if my scenario were indeed true?  Just trying to understand what you meant above.

tink

Could you love (romantic love) a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?

i did for many years.

Could you make love with a transperson who hasn't had genital surgery?
Why or why not?

yes.  genitals were never an issue for me or my gf.  we were both preop when we met.  now we both postop and nothing has really changed.

And would whether they had plans for SRS or not make any difference to you?

not really.  if she'd chosen not to have surgery, i'd still love her the same

Yes I could, romantic love is the most satisfying of all! 

I could have a platonic relationship but not sexual acts as I'm asexual.  I'm not sexually attracted to anything.  I presume peeps have heard of asexuality, isnt that right?