Well this week has turned out to be a bit of a roller coaster, I came out to my best girl friend which went so amazingly, we were always very close, but now we're closer than ever.. just so great : ) I've come out to a work mate which went perfectly, plus a few other generally nice things happening etc. but you can't have everything go your way..

Well the incident, it's a little complicated, but I'm doing some technical type work for a company who does work for various shipping lines, and so am currently working in a port area.. yah, kind of a male dominated environment lol. Anyway the hormones are really starting to do their thing both physically and mentally, I get a few looks but nothing nasty, mostly just smiles- I'm starting to look quite cute if I may so lol, but I'm really starting to feel uncomfortable using the men's, the hand washing area is right beside the urinal... and its a bit dirty and the things some of the guys do to the toilet is pretty disgusting.. Its just getting a bit much for me. Well there is also an adjoining ladies room, and there is only like one woman who ever works in this area and as far as I've noticed recently she's not currently even working in this area, so I've started using the ladies room. I always sit and am always sure to leave it absolutely pristine (I'm kind of a clean freak), it's good to be able to wash my hands NOT standing next to a urinal and enjoy a little cleanliness and privacy : )
Soooo, yesterday I'm using the bathroom and there's an old cleaner guy who does the rounds in the afternoon just generally about doing his thing.. and next thing I know he starts banging on the door, trying the handle and yelling for me to 'get out', 'you're not supposed to be in there', 'that's rooms not for you' etc.. How he knew who was in there is still a mystery to me.. Well I just kept quiet and hoped he would just go away, I was too freaked and surprised to say anything.. but he kept coming back, so I after like the third time I exited after he walked away, hoping that was it, but he came up behind me as I was washing my hands..
So he was yelling at me again so I turned around, felling pretty upset and starting to tear up by this stage, and attempted to explain my reasons, so the transgender thing came out, I also assured him that I leave the bathroom in pristine condition etc (why am I justifying myself to a cleaner?), well that just stirs the craziness, other people are walking past, he's being a crazy yelling bigot- it turns out I'm "one of those".. (need punctuation to indicate disgusted tone), I'm getting pretty darn close to tears to this point, and he's gotten himself into a state of angry indignation, I'm told "don't use any toilet while I'm cleaning the building" etc. plus so much more craziness, things are really going too far so I just walked out.
I walked over to my vehicle and where I was working just stunned and shaking, after a couple of minutes I thought I'd better be a little smarter myself, as I'd like to use the toilet when I need to, and I didn't want him making a scene in front of others any time I see him as I'm not out to many people and I just don't need the drama.. So I picked up my pen and notebook and started taking details, I actually went back to get his name; it turns out he doesn't have one though.. :/
At this point I was still really upset and worried so I thought I'd take a gamble and drive over to the main port admin building and speak to a member of the higher management that I deal with from time to time.. So I had explain the trans thing and what happened, and just asked if he could speak with the cleaning company to just get their guy to just leave me alone.. Well the management guy was actually super cool and told me about his brother coming out etc. and how hard that must be, he then drove straight back to where the cleaning guy was and sorted it, which was amazing : ) I even managed to stop myself from hugging him lol, damn hormones!
-I'm not joking, this hugging reflex is getting really strong, every time I get upset and then someone does something nice for me I find my arms start to come up and I have to catch them before I inappropriately touch people lol..

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but I'm glad that your story had a happy ending

"One of those!" I think he meant people like himself- sad little screwed up bigot. Really good that you took action, sorted it out and didn't become the victim! 

What a complete ignorant douche bag that guy is. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You didn't have to explain anything to that idiot and yet he still disrespected you like that. I hardly go out but when I do I always avoid going toilet as I'm always afraid of being ridiculed for being in the 'wrong' one. Really crappy feeling, especially when you really need to go! I just end up using the disabled toilets if possible but many times I have to hold it in. I'm glad everything turned out well in the end.

Do you present as a female yet? That could cause these issue's a lot. I am sorry though you had to go through this. No one should have to experience this kind of behavior or feel uncomfortable being themselves. 

Lemon_ice, I'm really sorry this happened to you -- I can only imagine how shaken you must have been.

But it's fantastic that you went to management and reported this incident -- that's a really courageous thing to do, especially when it's so fresh, and you're hurting from it. And for the manager to respond like that is perfect.

You did a wonderful thing, standing up for yourself and for other trans people as well. This is the stuff that makes a difference in the world -- be proud.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on August 07, 2014, 06:37:03 AM
Do you present as a female yet? That could cause these issue's a lot. I am sorry though you had to go through this. No one should have to experience this kind of behavior or feel uncomfortable being themselves. 

Well that too is complicated by where I'm currently working, everything has to be high visibility due to all the huge freaky machines driving around, and I also wear overalls to keep clean. I actually look pretty fem with my overalls off.
And I'm only doing this for a while to save some money as I'm rather well paid doing what I currently am, they even pay for me to stay in a nice place nearby : ) I'll finish in October when I have my FFS. I may come back ( high demand industry) after FFS but HRT is catching me out with the strength thing, I need already help with doing anything requiring much strength and I'm hurting myself quite often doing things that are routine... I'm off to do my masters next year anyway which should coincide with me going fulltime : )

Aww thanks everyone, I'll write a proper reply after work : )

Olivia

Well a wee update on the incident..

I had thought the whole thing was over and done with but I may have been a little hopeful and naïve. I have been avoiding this cleaner guy to be honest, but he saw me today and the look on his face when he saw me was just so ugly.. it seems that shortly after that he went and had words with some site office guy, who subsequently challenged me about 40 mins later.. Once I explained about the situation calmly and reasonably he was totally fine, there has been some items in the news here in New Zealand about transgender bathroom issues, with a study calling for unisex toilets in all schools.. which he has seen and mentioned, apparently he already suspected my trans status. So that's all fine but it seems the old cleaner guy has been trying to stir up some of the base level site employees who tend to be less enlightened and more judgmental, and there has been some talking etc behind my back (according to the site office guy)- I have nothing to do with these people in my work, we merely share some of the same facilities. I get on well with the people I work with, and have an excellent reputation with my company.. So I'm gradually coming out to some of the people I actually work with, but there are at least two who I've been advised not to tell due to a likely negative reaction, as a coincidence those two have a lot to do with the site employees so it looks like they will be finding out at some point via the grape vine.. I don't have a problem with people knowing or talking, I just want to do my job in peace  and with as little trauma as possible. I have been presenting more and more feminine; face and hair only, I need to wear certain hi-vis clothing and safety footwear etc, and hrt is making noticeable changes to my face too, so it has been making coming out a lot easier which has been great, but may cause issues amongst some of the less enlightened..
So it's a bit of a wait and see.. I'm definitely leaving this location when my contract ends in October, I'll be going straight to Argentina for FFS. The head of HR really wants me back, whether its here or closer to home (I can only hope), but I'm not sure, I just don't have the strength to do a lot of stuff I should be able to do, and it might a bit too much of an issue when people see my new face.. Whatever happens though, I'd like to keep my great relationship/reputation with this company intact, and I'm really worried this tale telling and drama could affect that.. so fingers crossed.

I'll just try to remain as polite, sweet and reasonable as I can and hope that is an adequate foil to the pettiness and bigotry.

well thanks for listening/reading my spiel.. I just really need to vent.

Olivia

OMG I'm so proud of you for going to the management like really first I'm not full time but if that happened to me I guess I would have just cried and ran away, I'm not brave enough to stand for myself D: The guy was really nice, too! I'm sorry that you had to go though that scene with that bigot I hope it doesn't happen again...