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Do you regret being trans?

Started by redhot1, August 07, 2014, 04:35:48 PM

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mrs izzy

I have been staying away from this tread:

I think it is a good one but for me i never had a regret for myself.

I do regret everything that my children, family and extended family had to deal with.

I with help got the tools i needed to move forward, they kinda where left in the dust to speak

I think there needs to be a better support network for them. With something like that in place i feel could turn the society's view of things around way faster then it is moving now.

So Yes i regret being transgender in respect for my family alone.

Me i feel it has made me a much better person

Mrs. Izzy
Trans lifeline US 877-565-8860 CAD 877-330-6366 http://www.translifeline.org/
"Those who matter will never judge, this is my given path to walk in life and you have no right to judge"

I used to be grounded but now I can fly.
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kelly_aus

Quote from: Vampire Brianna Terryal Onyx on August 07, 2014, 09:30:45 PM
i cant begin to tell you how awful being trans is. its like in my opinion the worse possible thing but its an unavoidable fate. either which way you look at it, its ingrained so a born female would want to be a male or a boy male feels as if they should of been born female, but its the price we pay. as far as regret goes, i let go of the feeling of regret for i had no saying what so ever so the only thing i can to is let go and go with the flow.

I'd rather be trans than HIV positive or have some other kind of long term illness. Being trans, it seems to me, is as bad or as good as you let it be..
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warlockmaker

I too had a great life as a male - 4 children, successful business and world class athelete BUT I am ever so much happier today. I don't regret my choices in life, we have one life there are no practice runs. I am Trans and I look at the positives and the wonders and new experiences it will bring. I will not have a boring life and thats wonderful.
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
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MbutF

I don't regret being trans, but I will regret what I will be putting my family through one day, when I'm ready.

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Arch

To me, regret refers to the way I feel when I've done something I wish I hadn't--in a situation over which I had some control.

I have no control over being trans. Therefore, I have nothing to regret. But that's just how I look at it.
"The hammer is my penis." --Captain Hammer

"When all you have is a hammer . . ." --Anonymous carpenter
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LeftistLeslie

Nothing to regret really. Its not my choice. I just wish people weren't buttholes about it.
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StevieAK

Regret would imply I had a choice, I had no choice as I needed to change; I had to be who my mind told me I was or die as I simply could not look in the mirror anymore and see that man looking back

Stevie
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Nightfire1972

Regret; I agree with everyone who states it was not a choice and regret is not an option.

Manifestation of inner conflict with external world: I am probably going to a therapist so I can wail "But I don't WANT to be trans*!"

I feel better trans*. I'm having a bad day because yesterday was a big "not hiding in the wardrobe day" and today is " get cis for work tomorrow" day.
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ryanjoseph

Quote from: King Malachite on August 07, 2014, 09:19:19 PM
Yeah, I can't regret something I never had a choice in.  I didn't choose to be trans.  What I DO regret is not doing extensive research on this in high school and not getting a job then to help pay for top surgery.  Had I gotten a job at 16, I could have at least had the money top surgery by 18.  I regret not telling my parents constantly at a younger age that I was trans.

same, same. i regret not being honesty with myself sooner so i didn't have to deal with "coming out" when i started college





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Gina Taylor

The only regrets that I can honestly say that I have is not coming out sooner in life. I know that I would be a happier person if I had.  :) Maybe if I could invent a time machine and travel back twenty years and change my history maybe than I'd be happier!  :) Where's Doc Brown when you need him???
Gina Marie Taylor  8)
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Adam (birkin)

I have brief moments where I think "if I hadn't done this my life would be normal in so many more ways." But you can't call that regret. Delaying the transition for the sake of being normal was slowly leading my mental health in a downward spiral. When I remember how I was before, it's kind of impossible to regret it.
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redhot1

Oh, so if your not trans, you can't physically alter your body right?
I'm not being a butthole about it, but I would never choose to have dysphoria either. I don't.
If not, I may be taking up my time here.
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Rachel

I can not have regret for being trans, for reasons others stated.

I regret not being able to be myself when young. In fact I am pretty angry with my parents for a few things (they are deceased).

Dysphoria has many layers and has many different manifestations.  I had been going to my gender therapist about 3 months when I asked what dysphoria was. She rambled off a dozen examples I have of dysphoria. She said I had it very bad. I knew what she described about myself was killing me. I asked why is it getting so bad now and why can't I put it out of my mind and why is it overwhelming. She said it has gotten to the point where it is overwhelming my ability to cope and my tried and true defenses were no match. She also said it is common for dysphoria to get worse as we get older.

My advise it to see a gender therapist and explore who you are. If one questions their gender is usually a sign they are not binary. 

Do not confuse regret with self hate. I am just learning to like myself for who I am and I have "some" flaws I am working on.
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stephaniec

what I regret is a social and educational system that wasn't able to help me early on even though it was obvious I had a severe problem.
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JulieB

Quote from: CiCi Confused on August 07, 2014, 11:50:19 PM
I don't regret being trans, but I will regret what I will be putting my family through one day, when I'm ready.

Pretty much this.

It may sound kinda weird, but finding out that I'm trans after so long has, strangely, made me happy.  I always felt different and never felt masculine.  I started experimenting with cross-dressing, and that's all she wrote, so to speak.  It's like I finally found the true "me" (yes, cheesy, I know)

My family will be devastated and angry once I have to come out, though :(
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Heather

I guess I could talk about being trans is the worst thing ever. But after seeing a man sleeping on a street corner the other night I can safely say I got it pretty dang good. And what little problems I have pale in comparison to what other people are going through daily just to survive in this world. So I don't regret being myself one bit. And yes while being trans can be hard it's most definitely not the worse thing in life that can happen to a person.
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PaleDragoness

My only regret along the lines of being trans is that I can't transition currently and it's driving me loony, literally.
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Leila

Quote from: redhot1 on August 07, 2014, 04:35:48 PM
Hi, do you ever regret being trans and you feel like me before? Not sure where this thread exactly fits.
I know that since I'm the only person who can determine who I truly am, I want opinions.
Does anyone here not have dysphoria at all or very mildly? Sure, being a guy is good but I sometimes become attracted to femininity to where I wish (even jokingly) I could be a woman one day. And I currently present as my birth sex, so I have a long ways coming.

Did anybody start out with similar issues to me?

I would disagree that I would hope to be a woman one day. I am how I feel and I have felt this way since I was a child, able to think for myself, many years ago; in that I knew I wasn't a boy and certainly was a girl. As others have said already, I was never given a choice to choose to be like this, so there is no regret on that part. For me it was an internally driven force to be female despite my assigned gender. If there was any regret, it was not accepting it sooner and having suppressed it for so long. What I have learnt is that the dysphoria became stronger the longer I left it. The more I tried to suppress it, the harder it fought back mentally.
Nobody's perfect ...   I'll never try,
But I promise I'm worth it, if you just open up your eyes,
I don't need a second chance, I need a friend,
Someone who's gonna stand by me right there till the end,
If you want the best of my heart, you've just gotta see the good in me.
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Illuminess

I sometimes regret having come out about it and asking people to avoid male pronouns, because now that I know others know and still don't at least use "they" when referring to me it just makes me even more dysphoric. I don't present any differently except for a couple of baby tees, and don't shave daily so the stubble starts to show. So, really, I'm not helping myself. I think maybe I should have waited until I got on HRT.

As far as regretting being trans, not at all. That would be like regretting having a brain. I am who I am, and I fully embrace that now. Sure, I would prefer to be genetically female as we all probably do, but that's not in the cards. Wouldn't it be awesome, though, to just change sexes at will? I'd change and never go back, though. haha.

If I could reverse time where I never decided to transition or tell anyone, I wouldn't do it. It's just another obstacle I have to endure for the betterment of my life and mental health, and despite all of the troubles we may have to deal with, it'll still be completely worth it.
△ ☾ Rıνεя Aяıп Lαυяıε ☽ △

"Despair holds a sweetness that only an artist's tongue can taste."Illuminess
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