Quote from: Kassie on August 09, 2014, 07:16:02 AM
We all get tired of the bs in life and need to vent at times other wise we would all go crazy
Do not feel bad you got to take care of yourself before you can help others

Thank you

Hugs, I can feel the pain in your post.

Crossdressing, for me feels right (presently I limit my expression but I am expanding slowly). When younger I use to crossdress much more and in public but my expression was normal everyday cloths such as girls jeans and plain shirts. I think the cloths look better and there is so much to choose from. 

I go to therapy and pay a gender therapist to listen and help me figure things out and find my way. I have long term depression and it is from my lack to fully be me, hiding, wanting to be there for everyone but myself and living  in a shell. As I progress in my transition I am less depressed and finding out why I act certain ways. I am finally growing and feeling better about myself. It is a lot of hard work and feeling and reconnecting can be painful.

On Susan's you get what you give. You have to be active and post and offer support to others. When you are away for a while people may not be there. Eventually most move on or reduce posting. If you need help reach out and we will be there.

As far as transition, HRT can be had for a relatively low cost. I work my butt off ( reason I have no butt ) for what I have. I guess the  Sargent/Cop father and ice water out of bed and work 2 jobs thing really instilled a work ethic. I have done thing to make money most would turn there noses up to.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on August 10, 2014, 08:39:06 AM
Hugs, I can feel the pain in your post.

Crossdressing, for me feels right (presently I limit my expression but I am expanding slowly). When younger I use to crossdress much more and in public but my expression was normal everyday cloths such as girls jeans and plain shirts. I think the cloths look better and there is so much to choose from. 

I go to therapy and pay a gender therapist to listen and help me figure things out and find my way. I have long term depression and it is from my lack to fully be me, hiding, wanting to be there for everyone but myself and living  in a shell. As I progress in my transition I am less depressed and finding out why I act certain ways. I am finally growing and feeling better about myself. It is a lot of hard work and feeling and reconnecting can be painful.

On Susan's you get what you give. You have to be active and post and offer support to others. When you are away for a while people may not be there. Eventually most move on or reduce posting. If you need help reach out and we will be there.

As far as transition, HRT can be had for a relatively low cost. I work my butt off ( reason I have no butt ) for what I have. I guess the  Sargent/Cop father and ice water out of bed and work 2 jobs thing really instilled a work ethic. I have done thing to make money most would turn there noses up to.

I am quite depressed, I've been depressed for a long time, I just don't know why I'm depressed, tried seeking help, but just couldn't follow through and attend sessions regularly. My depression seems to make everyone around me depressed, I can see it when I'm around my mom. She's really concerned about me.

I feel like I'm not worth saving, like I shouldn't care what happens to me, It's not that I don't care, but I think my happiness is 'irrelevant'. A few months ago, I was a little different, I had 'hope', now I don't have any. Maybe I had no hope at all, I was just fooling myself into thinking I had hope.

I don't have it too bad, I guess. At times, I don't even know why I'm depressed or what I want. I'm not even sure if anything can be done about my depression. My dysphoria has been replaced with a sense of dread and foreboding. I don't know why, but I guess the more I learn, the worse it gets. I don't really know what happened, but I don't really care anymore. I wasn't always like this.