Besides the thesis stress and job stress (well, the stress of having two jobs rather)...I got to thinking depressing things about my body and well now that's just peachy ain't it.

Quote from: birkin on August 15, 2014, 08:53:12 PM
Besides the thesis stress and job stress (well, the stress of having two jobs rather)...I got to thinking depressing things about my body and well now that's just peachy ain't it.

Hmmmm If I had two jobs and was working on my thesis I don't think there would be any time left for thinking about my body which has become entirely too chunky as of late. TMI anyway Blergh!

Well the money from the job is going towards solving at least the chest issue, but I do have to ensure that I make healthy choices too lol. Hasn't been much time for that, but it is easier to eat better at work because a lot of the clients are diabetic and so the fridge has only healthy foods. Most of which are kind of gross actually unless you're a great cook.

I don't really know, I seem to not really have any feelings for anything or anyone anymore.

Quote from: Emily.T on August 15, 2014, 08:40:03 PM
Oh my poor Allyda I hope everything turns around soon if I was there I would give you a big hug to help you feel better but seen as I'm not this will have to do.    HUGS

Thanks, the pain hasn't subsided much but my job did call and reschedule for tomorrow so that's something anyway. Hopefully, it won't rain tomorrow and I'll feel better.

Ali

Roommate being a moody jerk. He's never not been a moody jerk, but sometimes I get in a good mood and forget to be ready for his stuff.

I had to leave the Pride festivities early and they weren't very much fun because my son was cranky.

I got a letter from my adopted Mom today stating how displeased she is with my transition, and how displeased God is with me for not just accepting my being born IS with the wrong parts. I'm hearing again how God doesn't make mistakes, yada, yada, yada. I won't lie these comments hurt coming from her, for she's known about my birth defects also how I felt and who I am, a girl/woman, since she adopted me. Despite the fact I do love her, I've long since accepted we'll never have the mother/daughter relationship I'd hoped for upon my coming back to Florida in 2004. I just wish she'd stop with the derogative comments in her letters. I've waited long enough to be whole and I'm finally happy. And nothing is gonna change that. So I'm a little down over this, but I will get over it.

Ali

Alyda

This sort of ongoing treatment from a mother is unacceptable.  Have you, respectfully or otherwise, pushed back?  Does she know she is hurting you and driving you both apart?  Does she care?

How invested in, or how necessary, is this relationship?  Given everything else that you have to deal with, do you need this in your life?

Sorry about the rant, but your post really annoyed me.  I should have learned by now not to comment or even try to understand another's relationships.

Be well.  I am sorry if I was out of line.

Safe travels

Quote from: Aisla on August 16, 2014, 05:41:36 PM
Alyda

This sort of ongoing treatment from a mother is unacceptable.  Have you, respectfully or otherwise, pushed back?  Does she know she is hurting you and driving you both apart?  Does she care?

How invested in, or how necessary, is this relationship?  Given everything else that you have to deal with, do you need this in your life?

Sorry about the rant, but your post really annoyed me.  I should have learned by now not to comment or even try to understand another's relationships.

Be well.  I am sorry if I was out of line.

Safe travels

No, no not in any way are you out of line, and I really appreciate your concern. Her letter really annoyed me too. This past Christmas, when she sent things they were woman's things. Which was a big change for her. So I was hoping that finally after all these years she'd come around. I lost my biological Mom who never pushed gender issues with me, when I was six. I was adopted after a year and a half of floating from family to family out on the rez, when I was 7 & 1/2 nearly 8.

Many of us long for a supportive mother, and a mother/daughter relationship. There were times when she and I were close, but not many. To answer your question, the relationship is more of a want, or longing for it rather than being absolutely necessary. And I've done without it this long. She'll be 80 this coming December and isn't in the greatest health, and won't be around much longer. I guess I'm just hoping for something that can never be.

Again, thanks Aisla very much for your concern. I welcome your advice and opinion. In fact, what my adopted mom ad I have now, just sending letters back and forth, can be carried out long distance. Which is why after my SRS and I'm healed enough, I'll be making a change. I'm moving back out west where I'm from, and I'm much happier. Something I should have done long ago.

Ali

The UFC Prelim fight between Lauren Murphy and Sarah McMann......I wanted Lauren to win.

I am still incapable of believing that someone could care about me. It just doesn't compute.

Quote from: Edge on August 16, 2014, 11:30:48 PM
I am still incapable of believing that someone could care about me. It just doesn't compute.

Why wouldn't anyone care about you edge your a person like the rest of us and from your posts you seem like a nice enough person you shouldn't be so hard on yourself

Quote from: Emily.T on August 17, 2014, 07:30:18 AM
Why wouldn't anyone care about you edge your a person like the rest of us and from your posts you seem like a nice enough person you shouldn't be so hard on yourself

Funny thing is I know exactly why someone would. For some reason it still doesn't compute that someone does.

Quote from: Edge on August 16, 2014, 11:30:48 PM
I am still incapable of believing that someone could care about me. It just doesn't compute.

I can understand that. People, other than my wife, have not really cared about me either.

I just got up and not but a few minutes later, my nose starts to bleed. It happened so randomly and so fast and from so deep within the nose too that I wasn't sure if it was blood at first or not but it felt different. It didn't seem to keep bleeding either after that one big drip. This is scaring me and upsetting me, never have I had a nose bleed like that before, did what I could, just hoping it doesn't come back.

On top of it all, for 20-25 days now, with only about 5 of those days it not happening and the other 3 days it happening at night, I have been feeling like I'm going to puke, the antacid is helping but only so much. Going to need to see a doc about it and the nose bleed too. (Hopefully the latter won't happen again though)

Sorry if this grossed anyone out, I'm just very sad by this. 

Quote from: Shana-chan on August 17, 2014, 01:06:56 PM
I just got up and not but a few minutes later, my nose starts to bleed. It happened so randomly and so fast and from so deep within the nose too that I wasn't sure if it was blood at first or not but it felt different. It didn't seem to keep bleeding either after that one big drip. This is scaring me and upsetting me, never have I had a nose bleed like that before, did what I could, just hoping it doesn't come back.

On top of it all, for 20-25 days now, with only about 5 of those days it not happening and the other 3 days it happening at night, I have been feeling like I'm going to puke, the antacid is helping but only so much. Going to need to see a doc about it and the nose bleed too. (Hopefully the latter won't happen again though)

Sorry if this grossed anyone out, I'm just very sad by this. 

Doesn't sound good, go see the doctor and perhaps in the meantime you could drop by the local pharmacy and check your blood pressure.

Actually last night, I watched the 'Wheel of Fortune' game-show with one of my elderly neighbors (the lady I help with locking up at night) Mid way though the show another neighbor ladies shows up with her dog... Okay, no problem

After the game-show my friend and I were joking around about the show... Suddenly out of the blue the lady with the dog starts pointing and yelling "You lie!!! you lie!!!"

My friend and I both looked at her shocked like "what the hecks?" So I just told her that we were joking around about the game like we usually do and she just responded with "Oh" and walked away

We know that she is heavily medicated and drinks a lot of vodka as well so we just kinda blew it off to that

But still, it was a pretty disturbing and awkward situation that I really didn't appreciate very much 

Having to text my sister that I can make it to the women's conference our church is having Friday because my boss changed my schedule and I'll be working when it's going on.  I told her I had to work Saturday, but could come Friday unless the schedule changed, and it did.

My former employer is settling. Not as much as we thought but it will help.