Gozer,
I know that this subject has been discussed several times in the forums. I'll tell you what I'm doing about it. I just started hormones, I know this is going to be a fairly lengthy process. I'm assuming you mean sexual relations or intimacy when you say "we all have 'itches' that need 'scratching' sometimes?" If that is what you mean, I'm following my mom's advice from when I was like 11 and had a bunch of mosquito bites that I kept scratching. She told me "if you don't pick them, they'll heal faster and won't leave scars."
So, that's what I'm doing when I get an "itch." I am recognizing that transition is going to take a few years and that, although it will be lonely, I'm not going to enter into any relationships until I am through transition. I know that I want a relationship with a guy, I don't want a relationship with a guy now in transition. It's going to be a journey filled with enough emotion and turbulent times, to try to bring someone new along with me would be bad, IMHO.
Also, I don't really feel like my identity is in the process of changing. If anything is stable and has been stable in my life, it's been my identity. I'm reading that in the context of your message to mean that identity = internal self-definition, but I guess you could be meaning outwardly appearance, can't tell from the way you wrote it.
Anyway, I'm following the 'if it itches, DON'T scratch it until it heals' philosophy. Thanks mom

Meghan