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Erm... Hi...

Started by officialxian, August 23, 2014, 06:06:04 PM

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officialxian

Hi there... I am new here and I believe I should introduce myself. I am Kristi Grant, and I'm transgender male to female. My mom and her boyfriend both know about my gender identity, and have been doing their best to support me. My given name is Christian, and they've started to call me Chris, to make it easier to start calling me Kristi. I am a freshman in college, majoring in Applied Electronics and Computer Technology. I plan on changing my name legally soon, but that mat not happen. I have only just begun my transition by myself. I can't find a therapist who specializes in transgender issues in my area. The closest gender therapist is a few hours away, which I can't travel. I will get my license this fall as well, so then it will be easier. I attend a transgender social gathering about 45 minutes away, once a month. Last month I went shopping with my mom and got my first outfit. I went to the social dressed, then took my parents out to dinner dressed. Everything went well, but I could tell that people knew I was a guy. I haven't started hormones yet and I hate everything about my body. I'm 5'10, broad-shouldered, hairy, and quite boy-ish. Honestly, I am terrified of transitioning. What if I can't pass? What if no one ever loves me for me? What if I'm not pretty? Another thing that hurts me is that I can never bear my own kids. I feel a pang in my heart whenever I see someone who is pregnant. I want to experience pregnancy and child birth, bringing something, someone you created into the world. Sorry this was a ramble, just wanted to say Hi I guess...
~Kristi


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Ms Grace

Hey Kristi

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing your story, it's great your mom is supportive. You'll find that hormones can make quite a change to your physique and some work might be needed to deal with the body hair etc, but passing is likely well within your grasp ultimately. Check out the Before and After thread for inspiration.

Please check out the following links for general site info...


Cheers

Grace
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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officialxian

Quote from: Ms Grace on August 23, 2014, 06:16:05 PM
Hey Kristi

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing your story, it's great your mom is supportive. You'll find that hormones can make quite a change to your physique and some work might be needed to deal with the body hair etc, but passing is likely well within your grasp ultimately. Check out the Before and After thread for inspiration.

Please check out the following links for general site info...


Cheers

Grace

Thanks!! I'll take a look around.
~Kristi


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Valleyrie

Hey Kristi, welcome! I too plan to have my name legally changed but am not sure when I will do so. I'm glad you have some people who are trying their best to support you. :) You know what? I think that was very brave and courageous of you to go out like that, so props to you. I know there's a lot of uncertainty when it comes to being transgender but you'd be surprised of the effects hormones can have on someone (not saying they're a magical pill or anything) and just how much their lives change for the better even if it's just the mental changes of hrt.

There's more to passing than just taking hormones, don't rely on hormones to do everything for you. There's voice, the way you hold yourself, how you behave, how you dress, make up etc - if you need any help with any of this then don't be afraid to ask around, we're more than happy to help. I'm sure there's lots to learn about being a woman, just keep your head high and work on your own happiness! Try to accept how you've been born, I know it's really hard but acceptance is key to being who you are. By the way, they couldn't tell you're a guy because you're not. It's just what they see but you're a woman and you know this. Good luck! :)
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Bombadil

hi and welcome. you'll find a lot of great resources here. this places functions a lot like a loving family, so there is a support, close bounds and the occasional crankiness.

there are gender therapists online if you really get stuck. I'm not sure, from your post, if you think you need a gender therapist to change your name. you don't in the US at least.

there's going to be bumps in the road and all but you will find people who will love you for you. really. as far as passing, the longer you go on this journey the better it will get. there are some ladies here who started out being bigger guys than you and they pass.







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Mark3

Hi Kristi,
Its nice to meet you..! Welcome..
Please ask for help anytime..
Mark :)
"The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond life and death."
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