Hi there... I am new here and I believe I should introduce myself. I am Kristi Grant, and I'm transgender male to female. My mom and her boyfriend both know about my gender identity, and have been doing their best to support me. My given name is Christian, and they've started to call me Chris, to make it easier to start calling me Kristi. I am a freshman in college, majoring in Applied Electronics and Computer Technology. I plan on changing my name legally soon, but that mat not happen. I have only just begun my transition by myself. I can't find a therapist who specializes in transgender issues in my area. The closest gender therapist is a few hours away, which I can't travel. I will get my license this fall as well, so then it will be easier. I attend a transgender social gathering about 45 minutes away, once a month. Last month I went shopping with my mom and got my first outfit. I went to the social dressed, then took my parents out to dinner dressed. Everything went well, but I could tell that people knew I was a guy. I haven't started hormones yet and I hate everything about my body. I'm 5'10, broad-shouldered, hairy, and quite boy-ish. Honestly, I am terrified of transitioning. What if I can't pass? What if no one ever loves me for me? What if I'm not pretty? Another thing that hurts me is that I can never bear my own kids. I feel a pang in my heart whenever I see someone who is pregnant. I want to experience pregnancy and child birth, bringing something, someone you created into the world. Sorry this was a ramble, just wanted to say Hi I guess...