Only very recently did I start to understand that I'm MtF. My girlfriend and I have been talking about this and it's been like the elephant in the room in my life for years and years. A couple weeks ago I admitted it to myself and I suddenly felt better– more focused, more myself. I've been looking for resources and I thought I'd come here to ask questions and go from there.
I've had these feelings and thoughts off and on since I was 4. I've crossdressed. I've even been in public en femme...but I've never seriously thought about transitioning. More and more, it feels like it could be a better way for me to be ME. I do know how hard it is and that it's not some kind of magical thing that will make everything better, but I feel I have to see what it's about to be able to go forward in my life.
Yes, I know I will need to get to some counseling if I'm going to get on hormones or get srs...but I'm between jobs now and don't want to spend what I do have on that. What I have been doing is getting clothes...my gf, who is totally supportive, has been helping me and getting me into clothes that feel right. I also need to lose weight since I know that right now, I'm too heavy to even consider doing hormones.
So, I'm just saying hello and reaching out. I look forward to chatting with many of you here.
