I rlly dnt know wat 2 call this thread so neway. .

ive had this experience long time ago n was wandering if they were immature or was there actions justified?   if neone else has experience this plz lets talk bout it..

my experience is I made alot of fellow transguy friends n we all made a channel on YouTube calld transguy views..its wasa hit lots of subscriberes n views. .now 2 of the guys started there transition awesome was happy 4 them..they said n I quote " sry we cnt b friends nemore bc im goin stealth" then laughed in me n this other guys face then hung up (we were video chatting)..other probs thats rlly not important happened as well..dnt get me wrong I was happy 4 them transition as well as respected them wantin 2 go stealth but ending the friendship bc of it? I just think they should stayed friends n knew me n this other guy wouldnt out them..I duno was it immature or justified?

Well, without proper context, it's hard to say - but IMHO, from what you've described, it sounds like they were immature and probably young.

(Not related to the post, but can you please not "type lk this bcuz its" hard to read/understand and it's a little difficult to take you seriously when you can't be bothered typing properly.  If you're on a mobile, fair enough - but wow.  I struggled just to read that small paragraph.  Thanks.)

If your whole relationship is revolving around this channel, which they wouldn't want to be part of as they want to be stealth, then I can see why they didn't want to talk. If they're going stealth it's probably because they don't want their whole life to revolve around being trans.

I think it's entirely possible to be stealth without plastic surgery, and ridiculous to think you would need it.

I'm not sure exactly what you're asking since your writing isn't very clear to me, but my response is, why bother? Some people are asses. If they want to be stealth, it's not really your choice and you should respect them. I would also say if they are stealth you should remove the youtube channel name. Outting someone is never cool, and posting the youtube channel could out them. Being angry at them for wanting to live their lives is immature in my opinion. Just because someone is trans doesn't mean that they are required or obliged to be out. They also aren't required to be anyone's friends based on a similar experience. When I came to Osaka a friend from the us told me "you'll like D because he's gay like you guys!" We had nothing in common and why would me or my husband out ourselves? We have nothing to talk to this guy about . The way they shut you down was immature (if I'm reading right and ignoring the fact that I have no prior context about the relationship) but that's a good chance to call a spade a spade and walk away.

This may not answer your question entirely, but even as a native English speaker your post isn't exactly easy to read.

Quote from: Ayden on August 28, 2014, 06:17:42 AM
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking since your writing isn't very clear to me, but my response is, why bother? Some people are asses. If they want to be stealth, it's not really your choice and you should respect them. I would also say if they are stealth you should remove the youtube channel name. Outting someone is never cool, and posting the youtube channel could out them. Being angry at them for wanting to live their lives is immature in my opinion. Just because someone is trans doesn't mean that they are required or obliged to be out. They also aren't required to be anyone's friends based on a similar experience. When I came to Osaka a friend from the us told me "you'll like D because he's gay like you guys!" We had nothing in common and why would me or my husband out ourselves? We have nothing to talk to this guy about . The way they shut you down was immature (if I'm reading right and ignoring the fact that I have no prior context about the relationship) but that's a good chance to call a spade a spade and walk away.

This may not answer your question entirely, but even as a native English speaker your post isn't exactly easy to read.

they removed there vids n I never said there names n I respect them wantin 2 go stealth n we didnt always talk bout the channel we talked in general as all friends do..im angry how they went bout it laughing at me n anothr guys face bc we havnt got on T n acting immature..I dnt see how im being immature wen I clearly stated I respected that n didnt care..I dnt see talkn 2 me n my other friend who hasnt transition yet would out them. .im sry im on mobile..but I wish they woula ben mature bout it n said hey ayden we r going stealth plz remove the vids 4 our safety. .I woulda ben like no prob..just I duno

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on August 28, 2014, 03:59:20 AM
Well, without proper context, it's hard to say - but IMHO, from what you've described, it sounds like they were immature and probably young.

(Not related to the post, but can you please not "type lk this bcuz its" hard to read/understand and it's a little difficult to take you seriously when you can't be bothered typing properly.  If you're on a mobile, fair enough - but wow.  I struggled just to read that small paragraph.  Thanks.)

actually they werent young..well if ur meaning teens young..yea im on mobile so its small habit.. I should correct myself I replied sayin im angry 2 somone wen im rlly not more insulted by the way they went bout it..laughing in somones face as if they r a loser it rlly hurt bc aside from the channel we all were friends (or so I thought) talkn bout normal stuff 2 acting like that..I miss the other guys that were involved w the channel but we all lost contact wen some of us moved ect..life goes on..

I was mainly posting this 2 see if other ppl have had experience like this were somone basically acted better then somone just bc they transition n the others didnt.

Quote from: ajtrans on August 28, 2014, 07:22:09 AM
they removed there vids n I never said there names n I respect them wantin 2 go stealth n we didnt always talk bout the channel we talked in general as all friends do..im angry how they went bout it laughing at me n anothr guys face bc we havnt got on T n acting immature..I dnt see how im being immature wen I clearly stated I respected that n didnt care..I dnt see talkn 2 me n my other friend who hasnt transition yet would out them. .im sry im on mobile..but I wish they woula ben mature bout it n said hey ayden we r going stealth plz remove the vids 4 our safety. .I woulda ben like no prob..just I duno

Thank you for clarifying. Like I said, even though I speak English natively I'm not so good at the mobile talk. I'm the right age but I can't even get what friends are saying sometimes so don't take it personally. I'm a little older (late twenties) and I never got into mobile speak.

I understand that you feel betrayed. I get that. But it's like any other relationship. Just because they share the trans aspect doesn't mean that they are required to be friendly. You meet ->-bleeped-<-s in any group. What I was referring to was posting the name of the youtube channel. If they wish to be stealth, those videos should be removed. You don't know what their life is like. I would not risk anything even if they "burned" me. It's not anyone's choice, and anything on the Internet never goes away. I have old blogs that I deleted that I can find easily with google. The Internet lasts forever.

I think the difference is age here. I've had a lot of friends and family reject me openly due to my being trans. I've had ally friends and family run away because it hits "too close to home". My husbands brother, who is an "ally" has rejected his brother when my husband told him outright. Some people just say 'screw you' without any reason that you can see.

I get wanting them to be mature, but here's the real deal; what do they owe you? What does anyone owe you? They want to drop you like a bad habit? Okay. Fine. Let them. Don't dwell on it. Look around here and you will find plenty of guys who don't want their faces shown. I trust Susan's but I don't post pictures because that lasts forever.

Is it immature? Maybe. I don't know. The reason being I don't know what is going on in their lives. I live on a very delicate edge in my life. If someone sees my face it can topple my whole house of cards. Bye bye life.

Is it immature for them to bag on you for not being on t, yes. That's stupid. Otherwise I can't comment. I'm not a part of the "online life" so I can't comment. Crap like this is why I have expressly avoided being a part of anything like twitter or tumblr or any other part of the Internet.

Anyway, like I said before, why bother? They don't want to talk to you? Why does it bother you? Why are you worrying about it? Just wipe your hands and ignore it. But that's just my advice.

Did they even say it's to do with you not being on T? It could simply be because of stealth reasons.

Quote from: lxndr on August 28, 2014, 10:34:54 AM
Did they even say it's to do with you not being on T? It could simply be because of stealth reasons.

yea they did..I dnt care if somone goes stealth but being immature laughing in somones face is rude. .I duno y it still bothers me but it does..

Quote from: Ayden on August 28, 2014, 09:40:42 AM
Thank you for clarifying. Like I said, even though I speak English natively I'm not so good at the mobile talk. I'm the right age but I can't even get what friends are saying sometimes so don't take it personally. I'm a little older (late twenties) and I never got into mobile speak.

I understand that you feel betrayed. I get that. But it's like any other relationship. Just because they share the trans aspect doesn't mean that they are required to be friendly. You meet ->-bleeped-<-s in any group. What I was referring to was posting the name of the youtube channel. If they wish to be stealth, those videos should be removed. You don't know what their life is like. I would not risk anything even if they "burned" me. It's not anyone's choice, and anything on the Internet never goes away. I have old blogs that I deleted that I can find easily with google. The Internet lasts forever.

I think the difference is age here. I've had a lot of friends and family reject me openly due to my being trans. I've had ally friends and family run away because it hits "too close to home". My husbands brother, who is an "ally" has rejected his brother when my husband told him outright. Some people just say 'screw you' without any reason that you can see.

I get wanting them to be mature, but here's the real deal; what do they owe you? What does anyone owe you? They want to drop you like a bad habit? Okay. Fine. Let them. Don't dwell on it. Look around here and you will find plenty of guys who don't want their faces shown. I trust Susan's but I don't post pictures because that lasts forever.

Is it immature? Maybe. I don't know. The reason being I don't know what is going on in their lives. I live on a very delicate edge in my life. If someone sees my face it can topple my whole house of cards. Bye bye life.

Is it immature for them to bag on you for not being on t, yes. That's stupid. Otherwise I can't comment. I'm not a part of the "online life" so I can't comment. Crap like this is why I have expressly avoided being a part of anything like twitter or tumblr or any other part of the Internet.

Anyway, like I said before, why bother? They don't want to talk to you? Why does it bother you? Why are you worrying about it? Just wipe your hands and ignore it. But that's just my advice.

im older 20s as well bout b 30 less then a week lol..yea I get wat ur sayin I duno y it still bothers me..from time 2 time I end up thinking bout it n it bothers me..I was just curious if other ppl have had this happen 2 them..

From what i understood of their reaction from your post, yeah, they seemed to be pretty immature in how they handled the situation. Maybe a politer approach would've sounded a little more mature from them.

They handled it immaturely but I can kinda get where there coming from like others have said no one wants there life revolving around being trans, I wouldn't, If I am going stealth which 9 times out of 10 I do then yea to me it'd be just like a reminder that I am trans rather than just a man but I am that to. Yea I wouldn't have handled it like that but and I'd still give advice and talk to other trans guys but thats kinda the reason I only have bio male friends but I don't even know any transguys from where I am from anyways.

They were being immature, and idiotic.  Are they very young and inexperienced?  I can see why if you guys were friends in person they may not want to hang out with people who were non-passing trans men as they may be outed or assumed as trans by association with you.  But to simply not be able to be friends, through the internet, because they want to be stealth?  Unnecessary, sounds like it was just an excuse on their part to ditch you guys. 

It's immature to bag on someone for not being on T. But, no one is obligated to be friends with anyone else. One is well within rights to choose not to talk to someone anymore, no special or "good" reason necessary. It does sound like they were unnecessarily rude about it.

This is hard, but I can understand what you're saying I been there my self it was great getting to know and be close friends with other transmale, but once they were on T or had their top op they all went in their own ways some just disaperd and very few still stayed in touch which is good enough for me but probly wont ever meet though, I might but who knows.

I'm going through that stage my self ever since I have been on T and had my top op, but I don't laugh at others or anything I just let them know I want to move on and live stealthily and I do feel uncomfortable if I were to met them now then before. But I do try and keep in touch or if they have advice or need help I'm still there for them.

But yeah it is immature for them to laugh at you and your friend in the face.