Dude...sexuality is confusing

Edge · August 30, 2014, 11:53:11 AM

Quote from: mrs izzy on August 29, 2014, 09:18:47 PM
I have always said do what you feel natural doing. I do hate trying to fit a label.

Enjoy life.

This.

Quote from: KamTheMan on August 29, 2014, 10:51:46 PM
It's not uncommon. Since starting T I've noticed my sexuality might be slightly more fluid than I thought. To be with a guy pre-transition, there's so many reminders that our bodies are different and that I'm the girl. It's easier with a girl. Keep my clothes on, focus on her.

That's interesting. It's the opposite for me. Being with a girl pre-transition had too many reminders that our bodies were the same. When I was with a guy, I could just focus on them.

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 12:06:23 PM

Quote from: Maleth on August 30, 2014, 11:45:50 AM
Maybe I phrased that in an odd way... I did not mean to say that everyone isn't sure about who they like, I simply meant that for many people out there, sometimes they go through a period of experimentation (especially through their youth) and a person doesn't have to always be 100% this or that. Sexuality doesn't have to be a "set" thing in my opinion initially, because people need to somehow reach that point, right? I, for example, didn't know that I was attracted to people of all identities until a while ago. Before then, I thought I was "100% straight" and was convinced until I met a wonderful non-binary person and found I was attracted to them and thus pansexual. Bottom line of what I meant: People should be free to explore what attracts them and I don't think people should limit themselves to labels because sexuality is a beautiful and (sometimes) fluid thing. But that's just my opinion of course.

Right, But thats mainly girls who like to experiment all my friends who are girls are bi curious or at one point where. And the second part, how I see it as is if you know what you like you wouldn't even have to question or think about that. Like me and my boys know we love all the terms people use to describe a womans body. And its true you have your own oppinion.

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 12:10:04 PM

Quote from: Edge on August 30, 2014, 11:53:11 AM
This.
That's interesting. It's the opposite for me. Being with a girl pre-transition had too many reminders that our bodies were the same. When I was with a guy, I could just focus on them.

This makes it seem like your choosing to be gay though as well as other guys here. I thought people were born gay.

Edge · August 30, 2014, 12:35:58 PM

Quote from: Brandon on August 30, 2014, 12:10:04 PM
This makes it seem like your choosing to be gay though as well as other guys here. I thought people were born gay.

1. I'm bi/pan.
2. It wasn't a choice.
3. It also wasn't my choice to suddenly be hit with massive amounts of dysphoria when I was trying to be with my then girlfriend. That was really confusing and uncomfortable.
4. It had nothing to do with who I'm attracted to and everything to do with how I felt about my own body.

There is such a thing as bisexuality and there are such a thing as bisexual guys.

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 12:45:34 PM

i

Quote from: Edge on August 30, 2014, 12:35:58 PM
1. I'm bi/pan.
2. It wasn't a choice.
3. It also wasn't my choice to suddenly be hit with massive amounts of dysphoria when I was trying to be with my then girlfriend. That was really confusing and uncomfortable.
4. It had nothing to do with who I'm attracted to and everything to do with how I felt about my own body.

There is such a thing as bisexuality and there are such a thing as bisexual guys.

I am not slow I realize that there are bisexuals, I guess I just don't understand where your coming from, And in your earlier post you just said that being with a girl gave you constant reminders which idk how. And that you pretty much didn't want that. So yes you technically made a choice there and once again I am not dumb I know what a bisexual is.

Edge · August 30, 2014, 12:52:17 PM

What choice? I didn't choose to have gender dysphoria and I didn't choose who I'm attracted to so what, exactly do you think was a choice?

Maleth · August 30, 2014, 12:54:47 PM

Quote from: Brandon on August 30, 2014, 12:06:23 PM
Right, But thats mainly girls who like to experiment all my friends who are girls are bi curious or at one point where. And the second part, how I see it as is if you know what you like you wouldn't even have to question or think about that. Like me and my boys know we love all the terms people use to describe a womans body. And its true you have your own oppinion.

In my experience I've known plenty of guys that are curious to experiment but maybe that's due to being in a city where people are generally more liberal and understanding.. But I understand where you're coming from, Brandon. I think in a way, labels make it easie sometimes and I use them too, but other times I just don't really pay mind to them. But again, I understand what you mean. ^_^

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 01:24:48 PM

Quote from: Edge on August 30, 2014, 12:52:17 PM
What choice? I didn't choose to have gender dysphoria and I didn't choose who I'm attracted to so what, exactly do you think was a choice?

Not the gender dysphoria obviously I have that myself so that was kinda dumb to say. I am talking about your first post you made it seem like your attraction to guys is a choice all because you say being with a woman makes your dysphoric which again I don't get how. How you worded it most people would see it as a choice

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 01:26:03 PM

Quote from: Maleth on August 30, 2014, 12:54:47 PM
In my experience I've known plenty of guys that are curious to experiment but maybe that's due to being in a city where people are generally more liberal and understanding.. But I understand where you're coming from, Brandon. I think in a way, labels make it easie sometimes and I use them too, but other times I just don't really pay mind to them. But again, I understand what you mean. ^_^

And I understand what you mean to though.

Edge · August 30, 2014, 02:38:08 PM

Quote from: Brandon on August 30, 2014, 01:24:48 PM
Not the gender dysphoria obviously I have that myself so that was kinda dumb to say. I am talking about your first post you made it seem like your attraction to guys is a choice all because you say being with a woman makes your dysphoric which again I don't get how. How you worded it most people would see it as a choice

No, most people wouldn't. I have no idea how you made that leap at all.

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 03:11:50 PM

Quote from: Edge on August 30, 2014, 02:38:08 PM
No, most people wouldn't. I have no idea how you made that leap at all.

Go back and read your post and most people who are heterosexual would say it sounds like you made a choice to be gay again its how you worded it, saying being with a women made you dysphoric so thats why your bi does infact sound like you made a choice.

Bimmer Guy · August 30, 2014, 03:16:14 PM

Quote from: Brandon on August 30, 2014, 01:24:48 PM
Not the gender dysphoria obviously I have that myself so that was kinda dumb to say. I am talking about your first post you made it seem like your attraction to guys is a choice all because you say being with a woman makes your dysphoric which again I don't get how. How you worded it most people would see it as a choice

Brandon,
I think what Edge was trying to say (correct me if I am wrong, Edge), is that before transition, his body looked like any other woman's body. So, when he was naked with a woman and saw how they had the same bodies, it reminded him he was born female. This made him feel dysphoric (because he is a man).

Does that make sense?

Brandon · August 30, 2014, 03:36:55 PM

Quote from: Brett on August 30, 2014, 03:16:14 PM
Brandon,
I think what Edge was trying to say (correct me if I am wrong, Edge), is that before transition, his body looked like any other woman's body. So, when he was naked with a woman and saw how they had the same bodies, it reminded him he was born female. This made him feel dysphoric (because he is a man).

Does that make sense?

No I realize that obviously but thats not a reason to be gay or bi if he wasn't before. Your gonna be dysphoric at times no matter who you date, And you would think a gay trans man would be more dysphoric than a straight transman just a though.

mrs izzy · August 30, 2014, 05:14:43 PM

I think everyone needs a break from this topic.

Locking for 24 hrs will reopen then.

Take the time to look back over what was written.

Name calling and belittling is not accepted. One can make a point in a gentleman manor.

So relax

mrs izzy · August 31, 2014, 05:14:59 PM

Everyone calm now I hope.

Let's keep it calm and to the topic.

Unlocked.

Izzy

Edge · August 31, 2014, 05:17:15 PM

Quote from: Brett on August 30, 2014, 03:16:14 PM
Brandon,
I think what Edge was trying to say (correct me if I am wrong, Edge), is that before transition, his body looked like any other woman's body. So, when he was naked with a woman and saw how they had the same bodies, it reminded him he was born female. This made him feel dysphoric (because he is a man).

Does that make sense?

Yep, that's it exactly. Thanks, Brett.

Quote from: Brandon on August 30, 2014, 03:36:55 PM
No I realize that obviously but thats not a reason to be gay or bi if he wasn't before.

I was bi before.

jamesdoran · August 31, 2014, 06:16:21 PM

Dang I didn't mean for any controversial conversations to happen.

I was just wondering if anyone else found that transitioning allowed them to be more comfortable exploring their sexuality. It's fine to say that you're "100%" something but I think that to imply that most people do not have ANY fluidity in their sexuality would be inaccurate.

Ayden · August 31, 2014, 06:29:36 PM

Quote from: kdbrrw on August 31, 2014, 06:16:21 PM
I was just wondering if anyone else found that transitioning allowed them to be more comfortable exploring their sexuality. It's fine to say that you're "100%" something but I think that to imply that most people do not have ANY fluidity in their sexuality would be inaccurate.

Transition definitely allowed me be more open. I still just like guys, but I am actually comfortable with sex and my participation in it. After hormones I felt more confident and now after surgery I'm actually willing I try things I never thought I would be able to. I'm also more wiling to talk about a lot of things that fall under the sexuality umbrella, simply because I feel comfortable with myself.

Skyler · August 31, 2014, 06:30:54 PM

My sexuality is definitely fluid and does change. just go with the flow

....I dont like to label my self.

Proton · August 31, 2014, 06:50:59 PM

My sexuality is more fluid than it was before, in the sense that I sometimes feel like making out with dudes, even if I still don't feel sexually attracted to them. It definitely has to do with validation on some level, as I'm pretty sure I could never be interested in a straight guy.

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Dude...sexuality is confusing