Before he found out, my father was talking about meeting in person. He doesn't say such things anymore. I suppose the thought of meeting what he THOUGHT would be a middle-aged teacher mom was acceptable, but a hairy, bearded, childless, single gay professor with a receding hairline doesn't quite match his image of me. That's okay, I don't want to see him, either. Letters are fine.

Oh, but I look SO much better now...

Quote from: Brandon on August 31, 2014, 03:24:03 PM
You don't think they will accept you?

They will most probably need some time to get used to it. I don't think they will kick me out or anything like that.
It's possible that they will have a few not so nice things to say in the beginning and once they are okay with it their jokes/humor side will come out.

So it'll be difficult at first then things will get better I'm sure.

Also, my family has a strange sense of humor and love to like play tricks on each other from time to time.

Quote from: nikkie on August 31, 2014, 03:21:57 PM
I can only imagine what my parents will say. Not out yet.

I'm a little scared. Ugh. 

My parents would not even have allowed me to participate in any activity that was classified as a "Girl activity". I did not dare to even suggest that it might be nice to do so.

The line still makes me cringe. Talking to my dad one day about 3 months ago and he says," But you can't be a man without a penis"
*facedesks*

Quote from: Hex on August 31, 2014, 07:54:27 PM
The line still makes me cringe. Talking to my dad one day about 3 months ago and he says," But you can't be a man without a penis"
*facedesks*

Does your dad think cis men who have lost their penis in an accident or due to cancer are not men anymore? 

Quote from: Hex on August 31, 2014, 07:54:27 PM
The line still makes me cringe. Talking to my dad one day about 3 months ago and he says," But you can't be a man without a penis"
*facedesks*

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on August 31, 2014, 08:51:54 PM
Does your dad think cis men who have lost their penis in an accident or due to cancer are not men anymore?

It is not the penis that makes the man.

Oh I'm very well aware that not having a penis doesn't make you less of a man.
I think my dad's "logic" was that if you weren't born with one you aren't a male.
Which is a very skewed ignorant view. But the line none the less was.. well fitting of the thread lol

Mother: what do people at work think?

Me: they don't know

Mother: what do you mean, they think you're just Alex?

Me: yeah.

Mother: what toilets do you use?

Me: the guys.

Mother: how? You can't pee at a urinal.

Me: they do have toilets you know...

Mother: don't they think that's strange?

Me: no one studies what you do in the toilet, there isn't a mass exodus whenever I want to go.

---

Father: [four months silence]

My favourite was, "If I'd known you were trans before you started T, I would have tried to stop you." At which I replied, "You would have had absolutely no luck. If it makes me happy, I'm doing it."

my own dear mother has already told me very explicitly that she'll never be able to accept if one of her kids turns out trans or gay.
she isn't phobic of either. she doesn't say anything against transitioning, it seems she acknowledges that it is the right thing to do. and the only thing she has against gay culture is orgies and same sex marriage. but she has a skewed view on marriage even between opposite sex people, so...
still, she will never accept any of this in one of her own children. any other people are ok, just not her own children.
kind of ridiculous.
so i'm simply never going to come out to her. she'll have to figure this out on her own.

my uncle, her brother, only had one comment when he saw me in male wear. "this is the most i've ever seen you look like yourself."
i'm not out to him either, but he seems to have caught on to something, even long before i escaped the grasp on those hands which would force me into dresses and skirts and other stuff that i never liked.

Quote from: Taka on September 01, 2014, 05:22:03 AM
my own dear mother has already told me very explicitly that she'll never be able to accept if one of her kids turns out trans or gay.
she isn't phobic of either. she doesn't say anything against transitioning, it seems she acknowledges that it is the right thing to do. and the only thing she has against gay culture is orgies and same sex marriage. but she has a skewed view on marriage even between opposite sex people, so...
still, she will never accept any of this in one of her own children. any other people are ok, just not her own children.
kind of ridiculous.
so i'm simply never going to come out to her. she'll have to figure this out on her own.

my uncle, her brother, only had one comment when he saw me in male wear. "this is the most i've ever seen you look like yourself."
i'm not out to him either, but he seems to have caught on to something, even long before i escaped the grasp on those hands which would force me into dresses and skirts and other stuff that i never liked.

My teen brother said something similar to what your uncle said. I had told him that I had thrown away all my girl clothes and He said, now you finally look like you. You in girls clothes and long hair is weird. I asked him why did he think my mom prefers me to wear girls clothes and he said that not to listen to her cause it just doesn't fit my personality. I'm not out as trans to him either.

My mother died without knowing anything about me.  My dad still doesn't know anything about me since my brother and sister and I all agreed it would be better for him not to know.  It's a nuisance in a way, but in a way I'm OK with that.  I really do not want to hear what he has to say about it.  I've heard far too much about what he has to say about a lot of things.

My mother said "I'll never think of you as a male or my son. You'll always be "birthname" to me."

That one sucked. The other one from her is comments, rude ones about my acne from being on T.

My dad said that I must be FTM because I have a "Deep seated psychological hatred of women"

I lolled at that. I don't hate women, I'm just not a woman.

My sisters and brother are all much more accepting. They call me by my chosen now legal name. Everyone does except the few people I can't come out to.

My mom's okay, just worried too much. But my dad, he's one of those people who say that they fully understand and are supportive, but desperately want to change your decision and "fix" you.
Dad: "You don't need T."
Dad: "Male pronouns and a new name? No way, that isn't right."
Dad: "The worst thing is that you won't continue the family line." (He almost told me to get pregnant...)
Dad: "What will people around you say?" (Like I care.)
*a few years ago*
Dad: "It's just a phase."
Dad: "It's because your mom and I are divorced." (I'm glad they are.)
Dad: "You're doing this on purpose." 

My dad and my sister try to justify their birthname use by saying "We don't say it thinking you are a girl, we say it thinking that combination of sounds represents you." I get that. But stop. So does my preferred name, so at least try. My dad is actually good about it now, but my sis still does this.

When I was having tons of issues with getting my bloodwork done (three trips to the doctor's office and none of the nurses could get it) I was really upset because I was both traumatized by the prodding around in my arm and the faintness I felt because of that and also because the delay meant I'd be starting T a month later thanks to a vacation.
To make me feel better my stepdad said to me "As you know I wish you would wait to do this. You have the rest of your life to transition, stop crying." Why he ever thought that would help I do not know. It made me feel even worse. I wanted to say to him "If I DON'T transition, the rest of my life might not be that long."

"Why can't you just be the dominant/masculine figure in a lesbian relationship?"
"How come you see gays and lesbians on TV, and they don't want to alter their bodies like you do? Why are they happy with how they are?"
"She's gonna be a 'freakenstein'!"

The list goes on.  I don't even bring it up anymore around them, and my friends and I don't discuss it around them.

My parents aren't so bad to the degree that they ever say anything against lgbt+ people, but my mum especially gets a little awkward when anything related to it is discussed, as a family we tend to practice the art of pushing away our feelings and not talking about it. I can remember one time when I was watching some documentary on some 70's musician and my mum came in and said (in a pretty harsh tone) "Why is there a ->-bleeped-<- on TV?" in reference to a guy in drag that was singing.

So I recently came out to my parents. My father effectively disowned me (I'll be alright... I am too independent for that to do anything). My mom claims she is accepting, but she just doesn't understand. She's still talking to me, but I don't think she's as accepting as she first claimed.

Here's a few quotes from our phone conversation today:

"Why can't you just stay a man and wear a dress?"

"Plenty of gay people keep their bodies as they are. Why can't you?" (I'm bi, but she doesn't know the difference).

"I believe in God, so I will never be okay with this."

"I'll do some research about his, but only about how bad it is."

"Are you going to mutilate your body because you hate your penis that much?"

"I tried to get pregnent for two years and I had a boy!"

"You never acted like this when you were younger"

"One year you say you're gay, then bi, and now you think you're a girl. Is this just a flavor of the month thing?"

"Everybody is going to treat you terribly now. I hope you know that." (Wrong... only my parents treat me terribly. Everyone else I've told (most people I see every day now) treats me even better than before).

"You can find therapists who can tell you anything. You need to find a new one."

"Your father almost had a heart attack because of you!"

"I will always refer to you as a boy and I will never call you by any name other than "birth name"."

"Now I have a big secret I have to keep from everyone else." (This almost made me laugh).

etc...

I'm currently only out to my mom, my doctor, and you wonderful people at Susan's.

Here's some quotes from my mom when I came out to her - Note that I'm MTF:

Mom: "Are you attracted to boys?"

Me: "No"

Mom: "Are you attracted to girls?"

*facedesk* Why don't you just ask that first question again?

---

Mom: "I think you're just going through a phase."

Me: "Yes, because phases totally go on for 5 years straight. That's exactly how it works." (note the sarcasm)

---

Mom: "He" "-Insert Birth Name-" "Boy" "Him"

Me: (thinking: Call me that again... And I will pounce on you... Rearrange your face... And then drop you in the pits of Tartarus"

---

Mom: *Makes that face... That terrible, terrible face...*

---

Mom: *Gets all odd and uncomfortable when talking about it*

Me: (thinking: I'M THE SAME DANG PERSON MOM, JUST A DIFFERENT GENDER!)

---

Mom: "But you were never interested in hair, or showering, or fashion..."

Me: "I love fashion, I love hair, and name one person my age who is a fan of showering."

---

So nothing mean yet, since I'm pre-transition and all, but those are just my two cents :p

iiMTF

Mom: But... how is anyone ever going to love you if you've got mixed up parts?
--
Dad: I don't like the name Ian. Why can't you pick a good old fashioned name like Rudy or Byron?
--
Mom: Well I don't see you as any gender you're just [birth name] to me. (Goes on to never use my chosen name or male pronouns no matter how many times I ask)
--
Mom: I know you were hoping I'd help pay for your hormones but I wanted to get dental implants and I don't get that so as you can see you don't always get what you want.
--
Mom: [birthname], promise me that when you're a boy you won't ever rape anyone, okay?
--
Mom: I'm not sure I'll be comfortable sharing a hotel room with you when you're a boy.
--
Okay now for a more positive thing. My dad had cancer and one of the last things he said to me was "After I die there will be some money, if this is what you really want I think you should use some of that for transitioning." (In the end mom used that money to pay for my college tuition which in the grand scheme of things is probably better since otherwise they weren't going to help me with college expenses in any way.)