I have been made fun of most of my life, its only now that I have found a way to build a reputation on it. At my school, I am regarded as an outgoing and funny guy. Every day I have to put on the act of being funny, loud, and caring for everyone all the time. Personally, I am just a human, who likes to crack some jokes time to time, keep to myself and chat about stuff. The only reason I keep this mask on at all (besides getting some respect for once) is because the alternative i have lived with my entire life. The asthmatic nerd that people joke about and never talk to. Not only that, but after i put the pieces together and found out that I am a transsexual, everything I do now feels more wrong than ever. I have such a hard time smiling or being polite now around people. Every time I do laugh or even chat I have to catch myself before I start acting in a non-masculine manner. I shudder every time anyone calls me anything masculine and I feel like my reputation is just one more slip up from going back down the drain.

Any suggestions on what I should do?

Thanks  - Catherine

It's so hard to do bear sometimes.
But there isn't a simple answer, if you do want to transition, and live life as a woman, you need to be sure of yourself and be aware of your circumstances, how the people around you will react.

The obvious thing is to tell someone in your life how you're feeling, but I'm sure you've considered that already

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Hugs... Just push through it, and do what you need to

Thanks for the advice Jo-is-amazing, and I already have told a friend. He is the only one I think I can trust right now, but ever since I told him, we haven't talked at all. I think I will tell more people once I get past this first awkward semester.  Hugs

Grrrrr, I hate that....people can be jerks sometimes
Still I suppose it could be worse
What about your family.... have you told them yet?
Would they be accepting?

Hi, it might be better to talk with a counsellor - do they have one at your school. At least that way you should hopefully receive some guidance on how to proceed and what the school might be able to do to help you.

Thanks for all the help guys , But yeah, I am seeing a psychologist right now, 4 sessions in. We never get much time to talk about that sort of stuff and the school counselors are a joke. All they know is that the work day starts at 8:00 and ends at 3:00. As for family, they know that I am a transsexual, which is why I can afford seeing a psychologist right now. My sister treats me like a kid and complete alien whenever we talk about it (which talking in general has ceased for the most part) and my mother thinks I am just going through a tough "phase" in my life. My dad is a child, and wubby dubby loves me, but provides no support what so ever and constantly calls me male pronouns even after I asked him to stop. Again, thanks for responding.