So, I am not on T, but I am read male much more often than female.  About a month ago I made a decision that I simply wasn't going to use the women's room anymore.  I am over the 20 years of crap I have had to deal with in there.  So, I started using the men's room.  I don't use a public restroom often, so it has been fine and not really stressful.  There is also a stall open.

What I have been thinking about though is what happens if when you go into the bathroom the stall is filled and but there are guys using the urinals?  Do you wait and increase the risk of them noticing you are female (since you are just standing there), or do you leave?

Also, is it normal for a guy to hang around and wait for the stall?  What do you look at while you wait for the stall?  In the women's room it's normal to just kind of lean against the wall and watch the women do their thing in the mirror.  What do you do in the guy's room?  Look at the floor? 

Thanks, guys.

I can't imagine that just because you're waiting to use a stall, they're gunna connect that you're "female." They're obviously just gunna think you have to poop. I highly doubt they'd even think about you being there anyway as long as you're not staring at them as they turn around from the urinal or anything.
I'd lean against the wall and flick through my phone, probably.

Quote from: Kyler on September 07, 2014, 06:42:07 PM
I can't imagine that just because you're waiting to use a stall, they're gunna connect that you're "female." They're obviously just gunna think you have to poop. I highly doubt they'd even think about you being there anyway as long as you're not staring at them as they turn around from the urinal or anything.
I'd lean against the wall and flick through my phone, probably.

Thanks for this.  I didn't think about the phone.

What I am wondering the most about is that since I am not on T, if they decide to look in a studied way, they might read me as female.  Like a guy in front of the mirror looking back or something.  I don't know.  Standing there is different from "in and out", which is why I have been comfortable going in.  This is new to me and wondering what other guys who may not always pass do. 

Is it normal?  Totally.  Some guys are pee shy, some just have to take a crap.  I'll usually wash my hands while I wait, or just leave and wait outside the door if it takes them longer than it takes me to wash my hands.   

I don't know if I'd pull out a phone while waiting inside, someone might think you are trying to record or photograph their junk. 

Quote from: Brett on September 07, 2014, 06:45:23 PM
What I am wondering the most about is that since I am not on T, if they decide to look in a studied way, they might read me as female.  Like a guy in front of the mirror looking back or something.  I don't know.  Standing there is different from "in and out", which is why I have been comfortable going in.  This is new to me and wondering what other guys who may not always pass do.

I've used men's bathrooms before I even knew I was trans at times because I didn't want to use the same bathroom as my friends if I had to poop while on road trips, etc. People might have side-eyed me but they wouldn't say anything. I know that people have been known to get beat up and stuff but no one has come at me aggressively. I live in Indiana and I traveled through the south while using men's bathrooms, pre-t and "non-passable."

If your phone is facing the ground, I don't see how on earth anyone would think you're recording them.

When I went in and the stalls were full I just hovered by the door which was away from all the guys peeing and stared at the floor. Not in a nervous way, but in an 'I'm bored' way. Two other guys came in and did the same. As someone else said, you can wash your hands while you wait too, if standing feels awkward. I don't think guys are going to notice anything different if you're just standing there versus if you were moving around.

I've seen guys wait for the stall. I distinctly remember one guy just messing about with his phone. Personally, I hang around for a minute but then I leave after for a few and do something else.

I wait for a stall, guys won't notice or cAre. I just usually stand there and wait for a stall to open. No one ever says anything. It's normal, they will think you have to crap or pee shy or just won't think anything of it.

This may be needless or awkward but if you want to look busy enough, I guess you can wet a small portion of the clothing you're wearing as if  'washing a stain'

You can't poop in a urinal, can you? Good excuse to wait for a stall.

Quote from: Brett on September 07, 2014, 06:45:23 PM
What I am wondering the most about is that since I am not on T, if they decide to look in a studied way, they might read me as female.

Guys tend not to study each other, especially not in a bathroom.  You're fine.

Thanks, guys and ladies.  I appreciate the comments.  So for those who don't always pass, but use the men's room, you just hope for the best and stay in there until the stall opens?  If there are a couple of guys waiting I assume no one talks to one another?  I see women do that.  Although my voice is not high, it can give me away.

Quote from: Jess42 on September 07, 2014, 09:26:24 PM
You can't poop in a urinal, can you? Good excuse to wait for a stall.

You can,  but it's usually frowned upon. 

I don't pass well and I have waiting for a stall before. nothing happened. no one talked to me and no one else was talking.

Quote from: aross1015 on September 07, 2014, 09:59:11 PM
You can,  but it's usually frowned upon. 

I once had to clean poop out of a urinal. that really, really stunk

Quote from: Brett on September 07, 2014, 09:40:30 PM
Thanks, guys and ladies.  I appreciate the comments.  So for those who don't always pass, but use the men's room, you just hope for the best and stay in there until the stall opens?  If there are a couple of guys waiting I assume no one talks to one another?  I see women do that.  Although my voice is not high, it can give me away.

I'm pre-T so I pass mostly as a teenage boy.  Started using the mens room after getting weird looks in the womens.  As long as I don't talk I'm good.  I typically scout the places I'm in to find the least used bathrooms tho so I don't run into the full bathroom scenario.

why would you ever want to talk to a stranger in the men's bathroom?
i wouldn't want anyone thinking i'm trying to hit on them.

Sorry for chiming in, but one of those unwritten rules is not to look at others. Those at urinals wont notice or care because they are too busy with their own "stuff", the rest will be busy with washing their hands and getting away from mirror... Recently, I started to wonder if there is another rule like not spending more than 5 secs in front if mirror... taking more time will get more side-glances somehow.
I also remember seeing small lines inside when guys were waiting for stalls, because there are quite a lot of people who are pee-shy.

I've used the men's bathrooms since I was 15, pre-T, pre-coming out, sometimes even not-passing, and no one has ever said anything or given me any weird looks. I live in Europe though, so maybe things are different here than in the US, who knows. Also, when all the stalls are filled I just stand there waiting, what else is there to do anyway? It's not like you have to wait for long, it's usually less than a minute! And if you get bored waiting you can always check your phone, wash your hands, look in the mirror etc.

I know of at least one guy who went in, stall was full so he fluffed his hair in the mirror and left. I saw it all through the crack in the stall door.

It's rare, but queues do happen in the dude's restroom. More common in peak hours (like a movie just came out or a lot if trains came in, etc).