There are a few unwritten cardinal rules about using the mens room. The first one is don't talk to anyone, and the second one is don't make eye contact. Its just the way things are done in there.

So, given these two rules no one will say anything to you although sideways glances do happen from time to time.

As far as standing in a line it depends on how badly you need to go and how bad it smells in there. I have turned around and left before when I saw a line and I would come back later, or if it reeked really badly and I could wait awhile I'd come back later to give it time to air out (what do those people eat!?!? - yeesh!).

As others have said if you don't take a urinal when it becomes available people will just assume that you have to take a crap. It is considered polite to gesture to the guy behind you to go ahead and use the urinal.

If i had to wait in a line I'd usually find neutral places to stare at until it was my turn. In my experience guys usually use their phones only when they are in a stall. You could play with your phone while you stand in line but make sure it's pointed away from anyone else.

And like someone else said you minimize the time spent in front of the mirror. Use the time that you are washing your hands to check your appearance.

I live on Osaka, which is a city of 8 million. When I go I to the guys, I just wait. They assume I have to ->-bleeped-<- and I've guys line up behind me. The bathrooms here have 14 urinals and 2 stalls. I've had salary men, old guys, youngsters and everything else behind me in train stations and busy stores. Sometimes I leave and go to a different bathroom but a lot of guys do. Just act bored and they don't seem to notice. It's a "I have crap and do does the other guy. Oh well. Read the news" sort of deal. I've been in bathrooms where I waited and waved old men and men with disabled wards in front and they think nothing other than "that was a nice young guy.".

I don't pass 100% in the us, but even then the guys just think "oh well" or at the very least they don't say anything. The one time I was asked in the states the guy said "right room?" And I just nodded and added "can't grow a beard." He laughed and told me "you ain't the only one, son. At least you don't have a dog with mange on your face."

Quote from: Brett on September 07, 2014, 06:36:33 PM
So, I am not on T, but I am read male much more often than female.  About a month ago I made a decision that I simply wasn't going to use the women's room anymore.  I am over the 20 years of crap I have had to deal with in there.  So, I started using the men's room.  I don't use a public restroom often, so it has been fine and not really stressful.  There is also a stall open.

What I have been thinking about though is what happens if when you go into the bathroom the stall is filled and but there are guys using the urinals?  Do you wait and increase the risk of them noticing you are female (since you are just standing there), or do you leave?

Also, is it normal for a guy to hang around and wait for the stall?  What do you look at while you wait for the stall?  In the women's room it's normal to just kind of lean against the wall and watch the women do their thing in the mirror.  What do you do in the guy's room?  Look at the floor? 

Thanks, guys.

Stand near the stalls, not by the urinals if possible, and wait. Nobody knows that you may only have to pee. Don't look like it bothers you because you aren't using the urinal. For me, that is when I wish even more that I could use the women's room.

I have seen cis women come in and use the stalls in the men's room. Some men don't pay any attention to them while others might make a rude comment. Those women just ignore any rude comments and and go on about their business with no reprocussions. Why can't men receive the same respect in the women's restroom?

Better yet, why can't we just have multi-user unisex restrooms with private stalls and respect each other's privacy?

i heard a story from a guy in london once, in a discussion about really odd experiences. he'd gone to the bathroom, and while he was there, some girl managed to go inside, do her business, and then leave. he didn't have any idea how to react, so he didn't.
i think you can find many stories about women presenting female who've gotten safely in and out of the men's bathroom.

I usually leave.  Then again I usually just would rather not stand around in a bathroom... or any room with men lining the walls and peeing.  If the situation has time constraints or there isn't another bathroom nearby I'll just wait it out.  Sometimes there are lines like in the ladies room.  I've seen it happen. 

Quote from: Taka on September 08, 2014, 01:57:48 PM
i heard a story from a guy in london once, in a discussion about really odd experiences. he'd gone to the bathroom, and while he was there, some girl managed to go inside, do her business, and then leave. he didn't have any idea how to react, so he didn't.
i think you can find many stories about women presenting female who've gotten safely in and out of the men's bathroom.

Once in the Frankfurt airport an older lady for some reason decided to follow me into men's room (I assume she thought I knew where I was heading - well, I did... - and went with the flow). I think she got as far as pass the sinks and mirrors and was just about to turn around ti face the stalls when she realised that something was wrong. Well, the reaction from guys was kinda "whatever" - nobody said anything, pretty much zero reaction. I guess, men dont really see women as any kind of threats in their restroom... they are rather amused by the situation but wont show that...

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on September 08, 2014, 02:48:10 PM
Once in the Frankfurt airport an older lady for some reason decided to follow me into men's room (I assume she thought I knew where I was heading - well, I did... - and went with the flow). I think she got as far as pass the sinks and mirrors and was just about to turn around ti face the stalls when she realised that something was wrong. Well, the reaction from guys was kinda "whatever" - nobody said anything, pretty much zero reaction. I guess, men dont really see women as any kind of threats in their restroom... they are rather amused by the situation but wont show that...

Women, on the other hand, love to make a big stink of it. (not the restroom itself haha... men being in their restrooms).  I remember numerous occasions entering the ladies room pre-transition when I got yelled at for being in there.

I've noticed that women, usually younger ones, are pretty vicious when it comes to 'their' restroom.

I dred public restrooms, and only use one if I'm away all day somewhere.. I'm very shy on those situations..
If it's busy, I try and watch outside for a few minutes, see how many go in, and how many walk out.?? Usually when more have gone out than went in, I can enter confidently and go right to a stall.,. That plan seems to work well, except like at a concert or sports place, where it's lined up outside..

If I see that the stalls are all taken, I just simply leave. It's awkward waiting in the bathroom and when a stall does come free, I rather not take it immediately because the guy before me probably did a number two hahaha

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on September 08, 2014, 04:03:35 AM
rest will be busy with washing their hands and getting away from mirror... Recently, I started to wonder if there is another rule like not spending more than 5 secs in front if mirror... taking more time will get more side-glances somehow.

I wasn't aware of the 'rules' in the mens bathroom so does looking at the mirror really gets attention that much? 

Quote from: Taka on September 08, 2014, 01:57:48 PM
i heard a story from a guy in london once, in a discussion about really odd experiences. he'd gone to the bathroom, and while he was there, some girl managed to go inside, do her business, and then leave. he didn't have any idea how to react, so he didn't.

Japanese women use the men's a lot because the ladies is always full. They look up, and that's about it. One time when I was waiting a woman walked out of the stall and I think one guy registered it, shrugged and went back to reading his book.

Hi, folks.  Thanks again to everyone who took the time to post.  It was definitely helpful. 

Quote from: makipu on September 09, 2014, 02:30:01 PM
I wasn't aware of the 'rules' in the mens bathroom so does looking at the mirror really gets attention that much?

people like to go on and on about men's restroom "rules" but I've found straight cis men break them all the time.  I have been confronted with conversations in public bathrooms by all sorts of folks.  Though typically I knew them in advance of our encounter.

Guys get in, do their business, and get out.  Half of them don't even stop to wash their hands on the way out.  And when guys talk in the mens room it's always a little uncomfortable.  Even when waiting in line at sporting events...men usually don't talk...except to make a joke about how it's usually the ladies who have to stand in line. 

So if you're waiting for a stall, most guys would assume you have to poop.  Just don't spend time staring at anyone else.

And as someone else pointed out, guys are not very observant unless something is majorly out of place.  So you'll be fine.

For us MTF's it's a very different issue.  Women are observant, and there's a much greater chance of waiting in a line and talking. 

I haven't run into this problem yet, since I just started consistently using the men's room a couple weeks ago, but I am kind of worried about it. Logically I know no guys in the men's room probably care about my presence much, nor are they probably going to even notice me at all (seems like cishet guys are ironically just so terrified of coming off as gay they pay no attention to anything in there, even when they're whipping their junk out right next to each other), but the fear is still there. I just put on my best blank/stern face, look like I know what I'm doing, and pointedly ignore everyone. when I inevitably end up having to wait for a stall I'll probably just lean against the wall or leave if it's busy.

But ok, random question here--has anyone had difficulty quickly distinguishing urinals from sinks when going to wash your hands? This is never a problem I thought I would have, but without looking around more than is socially acceptable (so to speak) it's hard to tell who's standing in front of a urinal and who's standing in front of a sink. I mean, hands are at about the same level, most guys take the same stance in both places... it's just a little difficult sometimes when you're not used to the environment yet and keep forgetting to take note of where things are when you enter. I almost stepped uncomfortably close to a guy at the urinal the other day because it took a little too long for me to remember where the hell the sinks were.

Quote from: Dante on September 10, 2014, 12:45:14 AM
But ok, random question here--has anyone had difficulty quickly distinguishing urinals from sinks when going to wash your hands? This is never a problem I thought I would have, but without looking around more than is socially acceptable (so to speak) it's hard to tell who's standing in front of a urinal and who's standing in front of a sink. I mean, hands are at about the same level, most guys take the same stance in both places... it's just a little difficult sometimes when you're not used to the environment yet and keep forgetting to take note of where things are when you enter. I almost stepped uncomfortably close to a guy at the urinal the other day because it took a little too long for me to remember where the hell the sinks were.

Urinals don't have mirrors above them and sinks stick out from the wall farther.

Quote from: Dante on September 10, 2014, 12:45:14 AM
But ok, random question here--has anyone had difficulty quickly distinguishing urinals from sinks when going to wash your hands?

Not once, dude.  But thanks for the laugh. 

I think you're overthinking it.  Heck, half or more of all guys don't even wash their hands on the way out.  In fact I've been in quite a few bars where they had a second mens room in the back with a couple urinals...and that's it.

Quote from: skin on September 10, 2014, 01:15:59 AM
Urinals don't have mirrors above them and sinks stick out from the wall farther.

Lol, I was going to say the same stuff about sinks having mirrors as an extra accessory .
As for the question above with regard to use of mirrors, it is a bit tricky. Washing hands and combing Your hair is OK, but deviating from the above might get an extra side-glance, or not. When I was not yet aware of this stuff, I once was bold enough to take out a comb and start brushing my hair - now, that went awkward pretty fast . On the other hand, once, after an international flight, I just went to the airport restroom to take a shave and nobody said anything or gave any looks.

And yeah, guys are so friggin afraid of looking at others that it gets funny at times. Sometimes, I feel pretty uncomfortable to take men's room and last time I popped into someone when leaving - but before he could get any closer look,  he deliberately turned his face away and headed towards closest empty stall.

It's really a sick reason why guys are almost afraid of talking, looking, etc. It's due to fear someone will think they're gay. (I was at a gay guy event and the rules on bathrooms were totally broken down and it was like being in a women's room again.) Women, otoh, have to look out for the off chance that they'd be attacked.

--Jay