Hello,

Like I said in the title, my name is Jennifer.  I have frequented this site quite often, and am now joining in the fun :3

I figure I'll share my life's experiences (sorry it might be long :S)
***TRIGGER WARNING***  It's pretty depressing about half way through, it does have a happy ending though so don't fret. 

Early Life
As far back as I can remember I was more interested in the 'girly' side of life.  Out of insecurity I didn't mention any of it to anyone.  I'd still watch some TV shows that would probably have been considered more girly, but toys and clothes I just stuck with boy stuff.  Eventually I kinda forgot about how I felt and I just assumed they were phases and that any current desire to wear or do girly things were just weird thoughts that I shouldn't tell anyone about.

Early Teens
Once puberty started the depression became more prominent and unavoidable.  By the time I was 15 the depression became so unbearable that I started researching these "feelings" and I learned about what transgender was and meant.  I sat on that information for about a year before telling all my friends from school.  They were all accepting, but they didn't understand it, so for the next few hears they just thought I was gay.  I told my dad as well so he could help me get into therapy.  It took a long time before I got into therapy and the long string of referrals led to a dead end. 

Late teens and Early Adulthood
At this point I lost hope and just sunk into my depression and tried to convince myself that I could live as I was.  It didn't take long before I started using my depression as part of my self-identity.  I tried to identify with a mental illness.  I convinced myself that I had a long list of different disorders, all on separate occasions.  I always felt better when I had something I could use as a crutch for my identity.

Past 6-7 months
Eventually I succumbed to the gender identity that had been trying to break free from my self made prison almost my entire life.  I stopped depending on doctors to find me someone I needed, and I was able to find someone on my own to go to.  Since then I have improved a lot, I started Spiro 4 months ago and I am starting oestrogen tomorrow :DDD  My emotional well being has been so improved that I think it's safe to say that I always experienced happiness through a filter, and the filter is finally being taken away.

I'm sorry for walls of texts   I like to ramble :p

I'm looking forward to meeting all you folks, and I will try to go beyond my insecurities to partake in forum discussions :3

Jennifer

Congrats on your journey so far! There are always bumps in the road, and I too was in denial and identified with depression forever. I hope your transition goes well and you become the person you've always felt you were. Good luck! 

Hello Jennifer, welcome to the group.  hope you feel welcomed here.

Hey Jennifer!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Thanks for sharing your story. Congrats on starting HRT, I'm really happy to hear things are looking up for you.

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Cheers

Grace

Thanks for the welcomes ^^  I'll make sure to read through those rules.  I guess I should have before posting :S