Yesterday was a lovely sunny day and I was out walking in the local park which was full of people. I walked past two women pushing prams/strollers with their babies. In each case they both smiled at me and I smiled back as I walked past. When I used to be in guy mode I don't think women, let alone women pushing prams, have ever smiled at me. It's nice!!

I've had a few unexpected experiences, usually involving men, that haven't been as nice.

I feel like the way I am inhabiting and navigating the public space as a woman is, in some way I'm yet to fully grasp, quite different to my previous life as a male. How about you?

That's because you are here and not there anymore.

Thats awesome! When I had my mustache and beard (goatee) people looked at me bewildered or with shock. Only smiles I got were people trying to hold in laughter I think. Some people were even following me around the store trying to figure out what I was, I think. Since I shaved it all, I have been getting smiles from both sexes. I was trying hard to come off as male with the facial hair but I think it just confused people. I think the term is gender->-bleeped-<-.. is that correct term?  It is so much nicer to not fake who you are and just be you! I wish now that my voice did not cause confusion.

women smile and want to talk where as before nothing.

Since starting transition, and probably more so since starting hrt, I find that women are much more open with me than they were before.  Yesterday I was waiting at a traffic light and there was a middle aged woman in a car going the other way, also waiting for the light to change, and she looked at me, and I looked at her and I smiled and she smiled back.  The light changed, we waived at each other and on we went

I don't know whether this is minor changes in the way I look, or how the me on the inside finds i her way out in my facial expressions and body language, or maybe that I'm much more content in my life, but there is a definite change.  As a lesbian I like this added interaction with other women and it adds a little extra fun to the day.

This probably doesn't count as public space since it happened at work, but it was still unexpected. I received a compliment about a necklace from a female colleague (not the unexpected bit) which then progressed to a discussion about necklaces and how certain styles suit certain bosom sizes which then progressed to a discussion about our boob size. It seemed so casual like talking about shoe size. Definitely would never have happened pre transition!

I've discovered that having a smile is a huge part of fitting into a woman's world. I never used to smile but now I do and it unlocks all kinds of kindness and acceptance from women. If I happen to have my old guy expression on I've noticed that people ask me if i'm unhappy or if something is wrong.

Learning the art of idle chit chat about women's issues (talk about boobs, the period, children, guys acting creepy, relationships, etc) is very important. Be a good listener, and if you have no experience in an area (ie: periods) just ask intelligent questions to mask your ignorance. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and by asking questions you let them do just that, and you learn things about them that you can use to ask about later. And you avoid having to talk about yourself.

Chatting in the ladies room is still weird to me, and the fact that on some days I don't like my voice and I hear it echoing around the walls in there just makes it worse. Some days I have a really femme voice and some days its very hoarse and I sound like a guy.

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 12, 2014, 01:26:08 AM
I've discovered that having a smile is a huge part of fitting into a woman's world. I never used to smile but now I do and it unlocks all kinds of kindness and acceptance from women. If I happen to have my old guy expression on I've noticed that people ask me if i'm unhappy or if something is wrong.

Learning the art of idle chit chat about women's issues (talk about boobs, the period, children, guys acting creepy, relationships, etc) is very important. Be a good listener, and if you have no experience in an area (ie: periods) just ask intelligent questions to mask your ignorance. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and by asking questions you let them do just that, and you learn things about them that you can use to ask about later. And you avoid having to talk about yourself.

Chatting in the ladies room is still weird to me, and the fact that on some days I don't like my voice and I hear it echoing around the walls in there just makes it worse. Some days I have a really femme voice and some days its very hoarse and I sound like a guy.

I found the same... i also hate talking in the ladies room... when i first presented and passed as a woman, i was surprised how much woman share.

the best moment i ever had when i was trying to lactate and my doctor pushed my hormone levels up, to try and trick my body i was pregnant.. anyways i attempted try a pregnancy test, i know now that would never work.. as there is a hormone only a pregnant woman gives when she conceives that us t-girls don't have.. anyways the experience..

i was looking at the tests.. and a young girl (later found out she was 19) was looking for a test, and she was scared.. i felt for her.. she then asked me.. how late are you. I quickly scrambled.. and said a week.. she was 1 and a half late.. she told me it was her time having sex and the guy was just a friend... and the condom broke.. she was scared her parents were going to kill her.. shame I saw her about 6 months later.. walking in the street.. and she was very pregnant. She was walking with an older woman, i assumed was her mother..

That experience really made me feel like one of the girls.

Do men really not get smiled at and smile back? I cannot imagine anymore. Its just natural life to look at people in the subway, eyes mee, smiles and so goes the day. Its been too long ago for me to remember if this differs from being regarded as a guy. I guess in the years before transitioning I was also a "femme guy" to the people so they did act differently. Some called me "young lady" already.
In any case it is good and very nice to be in a world where people smile at each other. If guys dont get to be part of that world, its sad.

Quote from: anjaq on October 12, 2014, 06:18:21 AM
Do men really not get smiled at and smile back? I cannot imagine anymore. Its just natural life to look at people in the subway, eyes mee, smiles and so goes the day. Its been too long ago for me to remember if this differs from being regarded as a guy. I guess in the years before transitioning I was also a "femme guy" to the people so they did act differently. Some called me "young lady" already.
In any case it is good and very nice to be in a world where people smile at each other. If guys dont get to be part of that world, its sad.

Guys kind of nod at each other, I never see them smile at each other if they are strangers. Just a slight nod. Here in the US anyway.

Nodding - that would feel me like there is a conspiracy. You know like the guy in movies who are doing some pplot and nod at each other and then hand over a bag with a bomb or something
I know some guys call each other seemingly hateful words for fun, too. I do not understand guys, but luckily I dont have to - at least not in total.

Quote from: anjaq on October 12, 2014, 06:44:02 AM
Nodding - that would feel me like there is a conspiracy. You know like the guy in movies who are doing some pplot and nod at each other and then hand over a bag with a bomb or something
I know some guys call each other seemingly hateful words for fun, too. I do not understand guys, but luckily I dont have to - at least not in total.

haha! YES, they do love to say hateful things. Just yesterday I was helping my friend fix his car. While I was doing all the work, him and my cousin pushed each other around and called each other sissy and little girl. Talking about how they know nothing about cars. Here I am, totally girly and fixing his breaks, got grease under my nails and everything. I just laughed at them while they roughhoused. I checked his oil... was empty. I scolded him and said to get some right away. I will check today to see if he did. Guys are pretty dumb sometimes. 

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on October 12, 2014, 05:07:23 AM
Umm... Nobody has ever tried to kiss my hand.

heh, that would freak me out!! It's not really done in Australia much any more.

Actually, the other day I bumped into this guy who I had met via a work meeting two weeks ago. I was with a male work colleague at the time and when this guy had to leave he says to my colleague "See ya later mate" with a hefty hand shake (standard Aussie bloke-to-bloke farewell) and then I got a much lighter handshake, he smiled and said "Really nice to see you again, Grace"... oh dear!

Quote from: Ms Grace on October 12, 2014, 06:55:17 AM
heh, that would freak me out!! It's not really done in Australia much any more.

Actually, the other day I bumped into this guy who I had met via a work meeting two weeks ago. I was with a male work colleague at the time and when this guy had to leave he says to my colleague "See ya later mate" with a hefty hand shake (standard Aussie bloke-to-bloke farewell) and then I got a much lighter handshake, he smiled and said "Really nice to see you again, Grace"... oh dear!

Our company has a couple of people that work in Australia and I work closely with them from California and we always got along fine. When i came out at work one of the Aussies said that he was still going to call me mate. I really wasn't quite sure if that was good or not (?) but I told him that would be fine.

To answer a question above - when strange guys smile at each other it's considered gay/creepy, and most guys don't want to be seen that way.

I'm learning middle-aged drunks tend to be freaky to girls. I was cycling home the other night and passed a group of three guys. One of them shouts after me "please take me with you on your bike" (on the rack(?) above your back wheel where you carry stuff) I giggled because this was completely unexpected, and glance back briefly before the realization hits "oh" and he shouts again "take me with you please".

While it's certainly nice (yet still confusing) to be gendered correctly, I'm not sure this is the sort of attention I'd choose to have.

Yes, there's good attention and then there's bad attention. Often it's fairly obvious which is which but sometimes the good can turn bad without much warning.

I've had quite a few experiences where I fit in "as a woman".  E.g., not too long ago when I got on a crowded train and sat down next to a woman about my age.  Within a couple of minutes we'd got into a conversation that lasted the whole time I was on the train. 

And just the other day I went into my favourite café.  It was early so I was the only customer there.  The kitchen lady (Brida) came running out to tell me that the waitress (Angela) had date a couple of nights later.  I looked over at Angela, who'd gone all red, and said to Brida, "Is that why she's blushing?  I'd like to get a look at this fella!"  And we all had a good laugh.  It feels really good to be included in "girl things" like that.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on October 12, 2014, 05:07:23 AM
Umm... Nobody has ever tried to kiss my hand.

Quote from: Ms Grace on October 12, 2014, 06:55:17 AM
heh, that would freak me out!! It's not really done in Australia much any more.

Hehehe,  this DID happen to me, a couple of months ago in Madrid, and nobody does it here either!  I was walking home after a night out - absolutely common in Madrid and totally safe in my neighbourhood - when I stopped to look at some shoes in a window.  A guy in his 60s walked past, stopped, made some small talk, then told me I was a beautiful woman (Pre-FFS, WTF!!) and asked if he could kiss my hand.  I really didn't know what to do, but I agreed, and put whatever remained of my man-strength on full alert just in case.  He kissed me, and then I fled home.

To be honest, I'm having a slightly weird time trying to deal with being hit on. It's a really weird experience for me.  When I was a guy, I was totally forgettable, too small to be relevant, and certainly not attractive enough to be smiled at by anyone other than little old ladies.  Now I go out with cis girlfriends and I'm the one getting the attention.  Not only was I never expecting this to happen, ever, but I now need to think about how to gently turn guys down.

    Last night, in a taxi home:
    Driver:  "You've got very pretty eyes"
    Me:  "Ummmmmm....................... (long pause).... thank you"
    Driver:  "So what's your name?"
    Me : "It's A-"
    Driver:  "That's a pretty name."
    Me:  "Thanks, yours?"
    Driver: "Ahmed"   (Friends, I'm also an immigrant here; for me everyone is a citizen)
    Driver:  "So, can I call you some time"
    Me:  "............"    (Sh*t, what do I do now?!)
    Driver:  "Do you live alone?"   
    Me:  "No, I am recently divorced and I live with a few girlfriends who are expecting me..."  (One sort-of truth, two lies)
    Driver:  "Can I have your number?"
    Me:  "That's really kind, but right now, with the divorce so recent, I'm really not ready for anything..."
    Driver:  "Well, would if be OK if I call you in some months?"

And on it went.  Eventually I turned him down gracefully and he was gracious not to pursue it.   I can hear a joke coming on: "Did you hear the one about the Pakistani taxi driver and the Jewish atheist pre-op transgender woman...?"

I swear that I'm not complaining; but this attention takes some getting used to!   

xxx
J

A lot of creepy guys on the move it seems I have to admit I'm secretly enjoying it now that I still don't pass in proper daylight...

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 12, 2014, 07:57:51 AM
To answer a question above - when strange guys smile at each other it's considered gay/creepy, and most guys don't want to be seen that way.

Ah. Maybe so many of us get though tof as gay pretransition because of this