So I finally decided to bite the bullet and tell my doctor the issues I've been having and seeing where to go from there, so I made an appointment last week. And now it's only slightly more than 24 hours away and I'm frankly terrified! What can I expect? And what's the best way of raising the issue?

Here is a suggestion. Write down all your concerns and questions. If it gets your tongue tied tried to talk to them, ask them to read the paper. That will be enough for them to help carry on the conversation. If you don't need it for that, then you have something for yourself to refer to as you go. If you are anything like me, you forget a few questions once you get there.

Thanks, that's a really good idea! Seems obvious now, but I didn't think of it. Will do

Quote from: Kieran on October 13, 2014, 07:51:08 AM
What's the best way of raising the issue?

Congratulations on taking such a huge step forward.  There's nothing to worry about whatsoever.  Your GP has probably seen it all many times before, far worse too.

LordKAT is right - if this is one of the first times you've had to explain your feelings to someone, plan ahead and write it down.  You don't have to spend two weeks perfecting a half-hour speech word for word, but you should have a list of points you want to cover and questions you want to ask.  Your mind will be all over the place when you have these talks, and it's good to have a list in case the conversation gets sidetracked or you forget what you wanted to find out.  And if you get too nervous, just hand the person the paper - it'll give you thirty seconds of breathing room while they read, and it's a good way of conveying information clearly and starting the conversation.

Over time, you'll get more comfortable with this.  You'll be having the same type of conversation over and over again.  I'm at the point where I'm happy just to blurt it out as if there's nothing surprising or unusual about it (depending on the audience, that is.)  But I remember well that first time...nerves all over the place, feeling confused and frightened and unable to think straight.  I ended up handing the person the piece of paper I had my stuff written down on and I sat there petrified while she read it.  Then she looked up and smiled at me and was genuinely happy for me and honored that I trusted her enough to tell her and ask for her support and guidance.

It'll go well tomorrow.  Plan ahead, and enjoy the process - it's not as bad as you think it'll be.

Lordkat's suggestion is a great one because I forgot to say a few things and then the conversation got sidetracked. The letter will insure you get everything acrossed that needs to come acrossed. Enough of what needed to be said did come acrossed so I was able to get things going. Hugs and Good Luck
Mariah

Thanks folks. Still really nervous but feeling a lot better now - the temptation to cancel seems to be ebbing.

This is maybe a stupid question, but how much of what I say will be taken on record as it were? For instance if I express some doubts as to whether I'm actually trans would this affect say my chances of getting HRT down the line?

Possibly delay it and get you a referral to a therapist.

Ah well that's ok. I think standard practice in the NHS is to refer you to a therapist anyway, and tell the truth I'd definitely want to speak to one before HRT anyway!

So...how did it go?

Yes, I'm waiting to hear also.

Well, it was neither the traumatic experience I was dreading nor the great epiphany I was hoping for. Turned out to be a female doctor which was good, I never really like speaking to men about personal issues at the best of times. She calmed me down quite well though seemed more interested in my depression (which I admitted may be nothing to do with my gender identity issues or at least only partly linked) than my gender problems but she certainly didn't dismiss the latter. In the end she put me on anti-depressants and referred me to a psychiatrist who would be better qualified than her to get to the root of my issues.

This may sound silly, but one thing that made me feel kinda awkward was she was quite pretty and petite and here was me with my broad shoulders, low voice and size 11 feet talking about wanting to be female.

Ah well, still very glad I went and grateful for all your support

Glad it turned out well; referral to an expert is a good first step, and well done for not getting nervous and hiding the reason behind seeing the doc.  The medication should also help if your depression is only partially-related to your gender issues.  A solid start.

That sounds like a real good outcome, even if it isn't exactly what you wanted. Having a referral to someone better qualified is a very good thing. The fact that she recognized that and didn't just ignore is great.

If you want to proceed with transitioning you should have asked for referral to the gender clinic or if you feeling brave- ask for hormones - good luck! Keep us posted xx


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Well I'm not sure if I do or don't right now so I definitely wanted to speak to a psychiatrist first. Hopefully being uncertain now won't count aginst me transitioning in the future if I decide that's the path for me.