I'm trying to grow my hair out.  My dream is to have it long enough so that I can pull it back, at least into some kind of short ponytail.

The problem is, it's in that awkward phase where it's just a total mess.  Maybe three, four inches long, some parts are longer than others.  It's not the easiest hair to control, rather curly, wiry, and doesn't lay flat.  It's neither masculine or feminine at the moment, just ugly, and I can't leave the house without a hat on my head because it looks so dumb.  (Luckily, I work somewhere I can wear a hat, but still, it'd be nice to go out without one on for some occasions.)

Should I stick it out?  Or should I give up and just get it cut in a neutral style for right now.

I'd be happy with something that is shorter but still feminine, but I'm also so afraid to cut it because I've grown it for so long and, er, I'm kinda attached to it.

Transitionwise, I'm still fairly early on.  HRT for about five months so there's little in the way of facial changes so far.  My hair was also receding a little, and while the HRT and my fastidious use of minoxidil and finasteride has somewhat fixed it, I still need some form of transplantation in the future.  So the hair is a work in progress, not a final version, and I'm still very passable as male.

Thoughts?  Suggestions for a shorter haircut that can go girly or masculine depending on how I feel?

Don't give up. If a ponytail is a goal of yours go for it. I myself had problems with the in between  lengths. Hell now that my hair is long there's days I want it short mainly because I work outside and in the heat....ugh. But there's a lot of options with the long hair.
I've been thinking about hacking it all off to a pixie cut again cause I'm tired of  the guys

I think you will likely regret it if you don't stick it out, even if you do decide to cut it after it has grown past that in the way stage. I vote leave it.

Let it grow. Hair like that is pretty useless to try and do anything with and won't do anything you want it too. I know, mine is like that. But once it got long enough everything sort of falls into place, unruly place but the curls are curls instead of sticking out all over. I stuck it out and I kind of sux because it takes twice as long to gain length with curly hair. Even if you trim it, which I would but very little, it is still gonna' be awkward. It will only last a few months and then it should get enough length to have a little weight to it.

Thanks for the "stick it out" advice.  I was just about to get it snipped off this afternoon, and remembering how miserable I was the last time it was cut and the haircutter cut too much off, I'm sure I'd have regretted it afterwards.

Steady as she goes.  Good advice for everything related to transition.

i know how you feel i was in the same boat a few years back, i had a really good length, but it was growing in very messy and hadn't been cleaned up for about a year.

Then i went to the salon and they took WAY too much off. My dilemma is i need to be somewhat presentable at work in terms of hygiene and appearance.  So trying to figure that out is tricky if you work in a professional setting. I think i will try and get by with just using hair products. my hair is also very wild and frizzy, so sometimes just a bit of leave in conditioner or gel can help if you feel like you look silly.

It's worth it. Long hair is the single most feminizing thing that you can possibly have.

Maybe get a trim/style to even out some of the length incongruencies, but definitely just let it grow. It will be worth it in the end, as it's MUCH easier to see a girl in the mirror when you have long hair.

And it takes so damned long to grow, trust me, you'd probably regret getting it cut short again.

Mhmmm if it is so messy and can do nothing with it, trim it. Get a haircut you like and know you will be unhappy it is shorter though. Then grown it out till it is too long for that haircut. Wait a month or so then, then get a new hairstyle.

I didn't do this because I rather bad weird hair than it taking forever. I did although trim it every half a year or so and get a somewwhat new haircut. Getting there should be fun too so make it fun. You don't want to keep on hiding hair till it is long enough right o.o?

Ah that was such an awkward stage. It lasted about 8 months for. Tricks I used where bobby pins and these,


Alice Bands




and Headbands

I was even able to use them even when presenting male. (A little daring, but I never had an issue.)

About 4 years ago I cut my hair short for a job interview, I cried for days afterwards, doin't do it unless you HAVE to or really WANT to.

Gel and hairspray are your friends!

Thanks again - I think it's probably time to buy the hairspray, hair bands, bobby pins etc.  I guess the good old guy days are gone where I could get up, stand under the shower for thirty seconds, scrub my short hair dry with a towel and not worry about styling it for the rest of the day.

Yes, step away from the scissors!!!  Hair extensions can help while you are growing it out.  I think almost every actress in Hollywood has used them from time to time.

I have extensions and they work wonders. I got mine for $60Australian at a hair dressers that was closing down. They match my hair very well and are resilient insofar as I can wear them all day and they hold up to almost anything. At the end of the day they can be brushed with a soft brush and they are easily stored for the next time.

I sadly cut my hair off in a rage fit as I was trying to hide my dysphoria worst idea ever. It was past my nose and I got a number 3 all over. Now it is above my eyebrows (2 months of growth) so I recommend waiting and just combing it back as best you can as the outcome of cutting it is horrible to say the least.

What you're experiencing is just the normal thing that happens when you have short hair for a long time and then grow it longer. When short, hair is lighter and tends to grow out straighter from the scalp. When you grow it longer, it sticks out like that. After a few months to a year of growth it will gradually train itself to grow at more of downward angle and lie more flat.

There are lots of tricks for managing hair during a grow out. I'm big on headbands, barrettes and other gadgets. I've also had success with smoothing it down and back with styling products. Use your creativity and pick a method that works for you. Trust me that once you get past the awkward stage you'll have great looking long hair and never worry about this sort of thing again.

It gets messy as you grow it out as not all the hair grows at the same rate.

You can get it trimmed and tidied up as it grows, but it will make the whole process of growing it out a lot longer, but it will be neater.  Otherwise, leave it be and deal with it when it gets closer to the length you want.  The medium length is awkward to manage as it is hard to style, and yet isn't long enough to tie up/bunch easily.

Remember it's only for another two months before it gets easier...

Been growing mine out for about 3-4 years now and its super curly like just a just a level down from African women's hair. It feels like its taken forever but its finally past my boobs, definitely stick with it. Curls are tougher to manage the longer it gets so its imperative you find a hair care regimen that works for you to ensure a maximum growth rate. I highly recommend figuring out your hair type and reading about it as much as you can.

http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types

Mine is naturally very curly but I just get it chemically straightened these days.

The awkward phase never really ended with my hair, it just generally sucks.

My natural hair is snow white and very thin on top. I would love not to have to wear wigs, but I am stuck with them for the foreseeable future. I don't want any of that snow white hair popping out, so I am keeping it short for now. Some CIS woman on chemo have to do that as well. But I am thinking about adding to wigs in the near future.

   My last haircut was in January of 2013 and was cut fairly short.Next haircut is a long time in the future. My avatar gives an idea of the length about 3 months ago and that is my natural color its not dyed I was lucky and received good hair genes. An Alice band is very helpful in keeping it back when need be ,always wear one around my neck that blends in with my hair so you don't even notice it. It beats fumbling through my bag and finding the one in there broken when you need it and for some reason its always in the bottom..

Ma'm, put down those scissors slowly and nobody will get hurt! [emoji12]

Stick it out. I'm trying to grow mine into a male style where it's longer on top and short on the sides and it's a nightmare. Been very close to chopping it off but fortunately, my hair dresser talked me out of it.

We can do it!