Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
I need advice on this one, from anyone that have wisdom to offer, but particularly NB, MTA, and MTF folks.
Background, I have GD, I am non-binary, and I am looking into doing what I need to be a happy whole person. I am looking for a good GT that knows how to handle non-binary issues, but I really am not confused about anything. I know I need low dose HRT to shut up the GD, the difference it makes is astounding. I know some of the physical changes are necessary for my mind and body to be in harmony, I have some already from low dose HRT, and extreme targeted muscle/flexibility exercises to change my contour. I am starting at permanent beard removal. More would not be unwelcome, but are not necessary at this point, other than losing some more weight. Being non-binary the general plan is to try and stay passing-male, though the important people in my life will know my real situation.
I have a wonderfully supportive wife, and two young kids, and I worry about not letting my issues (And by that, I mean I an not the problem, but there are allot of people who might make their issues my problem or my families problem.) And am dead serious about being a great parent, and being forewarned and forearmed on any foreseeable BS that might become a problem.
Yes and IMO it is your own BS and baggage that will be causing the problem. From what I read it seems you have set a hair trigger and you are ready to pull it at a moments notice, legit or not. It seems as though you are itching to make a public proclamation about your status. What I read as an aggressive, cocky attitude on your part will be the larger part of any problem, perhaps the only part of any problem you have.
Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
How does one handle having kids and being trans?
I guess the same way as the binary parents do. You love them, you discipline them, guide them, cry over them, love them, discipline them cry over them repeat for your entire lifetime. It's a pretty simple formula, really. Its what all parents do, I think. Not sure because when mine were born, the assembly line forgot to include the operations, training and maintenance manuals.
Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
When does one tell them what exactly?
Absolutely nothing until they ask you a question and then be honest, open, sincere and only answer the question. Don't be volunteering more information than asked for. This is your issue, not theirs, don't make it theirs. They may never accept it but whatever the case you never ever stop loving them, you discipline them, guide them, cry over them, love them, discipline them cry over them repeat for your entire lifetime. I'm fairly certain on that part.
Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
Do I need to be super worried about school issues or other parents?
Unless you intend to send you child to school in a neglectful state of care; the short answer is NO. If your child comes to school clean, in clean clothes, well nourished, rested, emotionally happy, homework complete, prepared for school free of bruised areas that shouldn't be bruised, teachers are just to damn busy to worry about what you're doing with your personal life. I'm fairly certain that if you love them, you discipline them, guide them, cry over them, love them, discipline them cry over them and repeat for your entire lifetime you'll do okay.
Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
Also, people can be horrible, assuming the cat gets out of the bag, or I just read super androgynous and that triggers an ignorant person, how do I prevent other people's being bigoted at me from harming the kids? (Boys no less, so there will be sports and manly, man, man-ness to attend to in the future...)
Again, I am more androgyne at my core than anything, so this might help or make things more complicated. But assuming the cat eventually escapes the bag, I don't think that the problem people in life will care about the distinction, and it might only make it worse?
Any advice or insight would be appreciated.
I hate to burst your bubble but in reality, few if any people will really ever give a damn about you. You problems are not the most important things in other peoples lives. In fact their concern for you will be below whale crap which we all know that is at the bottom of the ocean and there isn't anything less important than that. Now if you decide you want to be a campy trans or non-binary and wave the flag and tell everyone they need to embrace and support your way of life or else you just might find a 5 gallon tank of gas on your porch some morning to help you down the road. But then again you are neglecting what I think is the most important part of your life - your children and you are not loving them, you discipline them, guide them, cry over them, love them, discipline them cry over them and repeat for your entire lifetime. The secret to hiding this or anything is to hide it in plain site. There's no cat to be left out of the bag then.
Quote from: Jaded Jade on October 20, 2014, 01:35:43 AM
- Jaded (Clearly I cannot do anything the easy way) Jade
Clearly I am in agreement there but your attitude seems like you are not going to make it easy for those that should be the most important to you. Weigh the needs of your children and weigh yours against theirs. When you are able to do that honestly, sincerely and truthfully you will see the correct path and choice with unmistakable clarity. You will find that the answer never excludes loving them, you discipline them, guide them, cry over them, love them, discipline them cry over them and repeat for your entire lifetime and when it does you will immediately know you have made a very selfish and narrow minded choice.