People have some weird ideas about what being trans is/means/entails. Usually it comes out when they are a bit drunk and feeling somewhat more candid. After a torrid day at work in which four people were laid off (doesn't sound like much but we are a small organisation of 19 now 15) I was commiserating with two other colleagues, one of whom - M - had been one of the unfortunates after twenty plus years with us and now has no job. He's a good friend, I've known M for over 15 years, he's been very supportive of my transition (and LGBT in general) but it's also pretty clear he has his own "picture" about what being trans means.
To give some context, M is a massive womaniser...not in a sleazy way, but if he could have sex with every woman he fancied he would definitely take the opportunity to do so (and he would probably die of exhaustion since he fancies many, many women!!) I guess in that regard he is not too different from the majority of cishet men!
Tucking into his fourth beer M turns to me and says he admired my "commitment to bring a woman" taking pills that changed my body and reduced my libido so that I has no sexual desire, to him that was anathema.
To be honest I was a bit bemused by the comment. "My commitment to being a woman"? I gently, respectfully but rather passionately tried to set him right. To me it isn't a commitment at all, it is a deep, fundamental need. I may have lost my sex drive but it was a sex drive I had loathed anyway, I still have desire but am much happier this way. If there had ever been any commitment it had been the one where I was forcing myself to live as a male for most of my life because I'd forced myself to believe it was the "easier" option. Whether he got it or even remembers any of it post drinking session who can say but it did feel good to be open about my decision to proceed with transition.
