Hi everyone!
My name...well....technically i haven't decided on a name yet. This whole thing is very new to me. I found this forum in my search for answers, and i hope that with the help of all you wonderful people out there i find what i am looking for. I am a 32 year old who is bringing out an old skeleton from the closet. It first started when i was 9, before i had even started puberty. I had a fascination with my moms clothes. I would wear them when she was not home. It made me feel so pretty. I loved the feeling that it gave me. I stopped due to peer pressure (A kid from the neighborhood caught me and it defined my middle school years). I would still love to wear my mothers panties....It was my dirty little secret. After a while i stopped it, but the desire to be female never completely left me. I tried to kill myself in high school. I wasn't into the same things guys were into. I wasnt into anything...I just hated life...Then i started to go to church and eventually i became a pastor (I was blessed to live in 4 different countries doing missionary work during my 20s) But this desire never left. I didnt feel any desire to chase women, and i couldn't look at porn with other men in it, because i couldn't identify with being male. Fast forward to this last month. I started slowly to cross dress again, and after being with the same girl for 2 years i realized that i wasn't into having sex unless i imagined i was a woman. I had always thought of this desire as just that. But i decided to open the flood gates and explore these feelings. I have studied ->-bleeped-<-, and every time i see how someone has transitioned it excites me.. Their skin, the hair, the clothes...Its like this other person in my is screaming because they see themselves in the mirror. Im taking things slow...removing hair and making myself more fem to see if this is really what i want. I have a long way to go, but i feel that in the end i am meant to be a beautiful, confident woman. I just am looking for people who can relate. Thanks you for reading :-)
